Question for Bernie
I wanted to share with you a story this morning. I will get to the story in a minute but first wanted to fill you in a bit. Remember when I was looking for some etiology for adult onset of tremors with my son? Anyway after nine months of no gluten (Dr. P used Keifers before and after videos in Dr. Oz special if you saw) that has resolved and life moves on.
I am still learning. Lately, I have been very overwhelmed with life. I’m still a single mom, my youngest in engineering school at CU, two adult sons back home, a mother who turned 90, and the family dysfunction that has exploded in the last year around that, me turning 53 and feeling alone, and still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. I am also working for the Dominican Sisters Home Health agency (the only free home care for the poor and elderly in the country) while contending with my own issues—6th cranial nerve damage and skin cancer, and yet all of that pales in comparison to my cousins Grade 4 glioblastoma…..the fragileness of life.
So that brings me to my story. I had thought of connecting with you prior, but this moved me to do so. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning to a burning smell in my home and went downstairs to find a pot on full heat burnt to a crisp and filling the home with yuck. My 23-year-old son was drunk and asleep in the chair—this is the second pot he burned in less than a week—and this is the day that my Sisters at Home Health planned a 90th birthday celebration for my mom, but didn’t bother to tell me about it prior to the event mailing! A gut punch I am still learning to be with.
My way is to move my body when I feel the emotions mounting and nowhere to escape. This is all on top of being three months with no period at 53. Remember when you helped me with a broken heart back in 2010. I have not been with anyone since. I met someone in March whom I have been seeing, but I keep noticing old stuff still coming up from that last man I loved so deeply who was so deceptive. Do I want another relationship?
So off I go this morning early (before all the people- it has become too commercialized- five years ago- solitude all the time). I run up a flight of stairs thinking about my cousin dying and I’ve got the Fray blaring in my ear,” love don’t die.” I run to the top only to be turned away for an exercise class starting soon.
I turn around, catch my breath, and head back down the stairs. There was no one in sight, then, out of nowhere a baby deer comes running up the stairs! I burst into tears and continued walking toward the deer. I was on my side going down, he or she was on the other side coming up. I stopped and leaned against the side railing and watched the little deer continue up and past me. I connected with its feeling of being trapped, feeling out of place, not recognizing things, and connected that to me, my birth family. The flood of tears was a welcome release.
The baby deer hopped over the fence, and I ran down to the truck to get my phone to walk back up and make a video for my cousin as a “good morning hello” and tell her the story. On my way back up the stairs, the most beautiful bluebird jumped up about five flights of stairs directly in front of me as I filmed and said good morning, as if to say come on, keep on climbing, and she was doing it with a jump in her step and so pretty and graceful! I had to giggle at this life. It was as if my angels were telling me that everything’s going to be alright.
Love to you Bernie…
Yes, I remember you. You can jump the fence like the deer and what you see in the bluebird is in you.
Be a love warrior and drive people nuts with your love no matter how they behave, but also discipline your son so he doesn’t burn the house down.
Remember, addicts all are searching for love from artificial sources.
Question for Bernie
I interviewed you for the movie Turn Off Cancer – Turn On Life three years ago by the little pond in one of your children’s gardens. It was such a beautiful interview.
Last month I was diagnosed with cancer myself. This news came just as I was getting back on my feet, teaching workshops and retreats again, with lots of amazing projects, and bang! Cancer diagnosis. It feels like a joke. I guess my body gave up after so much adversity, stress, and the sense of failure attached to making the movie.
I understand also that the divine is behind it, and I can see the message which is very obvious. I cannot postpone any longer focusing on my own care and happiness. Surgery is scheduled for in eight days. I don’t really know what to do about chemo and radiation, but they have already mentioned the customary 21 sessions of radiation and some chemo just in case.
I cannot find an integrative oncologist in Spain who I can trust and afford. I never thought that this would happen to me, to healthy, super-conscious little me. I understand that I went through a very difficult period on all levels of my life. The stress and trauma has been “off the roof” and relentless, I ended up with no emotional support, was hardly eating or sleeping, feeling exhausted, burned out, lost, and abandoned. I can see how the tumor’s growth makes sense.
My question to you is this: If the surgery leaves the area clean, the tumor is completely encapsulated, and I am rigorously careful with my diet and environmental toxins; if I really manage stress in my life, improve my social support by being more in touch, and recover my sense of purpose and sense of being part of a magnificent, mysterious, benevolent universe… can I say no to radiation and chemotherapy?
Please I am asking you as a desperate cry, not so much as a professional, but as a friend. I don’t know where to turn. I am not going to blame you if my choices don’t work. I am only asking for your sincere, honest, human opinion. What would you tell your sister, wife, mother, or daughter if they were in my situation, or what would you do yourself in a similar situation?
I am confused in spite of having so much information. Your opinion would be an orientation to me, as you are more in touch with the clinical practice and the literature. Under which criteria might it be wise to say no to conventional therapies and go with the body-mind connection to regain health, or to create health again?
I have been so healthy all of my life, and hopefully I heard the definitive message of this cancer occurring now. I am really ready to create a life of coherence that respects the needs of my body and still be able to make a big contribution to the Spanish speaking countries regarding mindfulness. My most heartfelt gratitude on advance.
Yes I remember you. My question to you is, “Are you trying not to die, or trying to do what feels right for you? Your answer can help you decide about surgery. Let your heart make up your mind.
Your tumor is hormone receptor+ so you could use aromatase inhibitors and not chemo if things look good.
Also, picture surgery going very well in your mind several times a day and see the tumors melting away in your images.
When treatment options come up, you can make a drawing for each of them and I can look at the drawings and help you to decide on the basis of what your inner wisdom and consciousness tell us in your drawings.
Question for Bernie (answer to Bernie from question and answer above)
No, dear Bernie, I am not trying not to die. I want to live. But because so many things have gone wrong in my life lately, I learned to distrust my intuition. I am afraid that some of my choices have been so wild and have endangered my life.
I have mixed feelings. I don’t want to be a fundamentalist who says that all conventional medicine is wrong, and at the same time, I am sure my cancer is due to hormones, environmental toxins, lack of rest, and stress. But I eat a very healthy diet, although I started to drink a couple of glasses of wine each night, and that might have impaired my liver.
I abused myself working 20 hours a day nonstop on the movie project for three years.
So if I really start taking good care of myself, and control the estrogen and other hormones, it should be OK.
Yes, I will send you the drawings when they signify something to me. I already feel much better. Your words have soothed me a great deal. I send you my warmest regards.
Cancer is growth gone wrong. It is a message to take a new road in your life. Follow your heart and stop thinking. You need to feel what is right and then do it.
Love your life and body, and self-induced healing occurs.
Question for Bernie
I was referred to you by one of my friends who spoke very highly of you and your methods to battle cancer and save several people from the jaws of untimely death. I am writing to you with hope that you may be able to help my sister, who was first diagnosed with cancer in February of 2013 and has been fighting with the disease bravely ever since. Her details are explained in the synopsis below. She has tried various doctors in the UAE, Mumbai, and elsewhere including the U.S. Now all the doctors have given up. Her reports are attached herewith for your reference. Can you advise in this matter as time is running out fast for my sister?
In February of 2013, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer (right breast) and ovarian cancer. She underwent a mastectomy and surgical removal of the ovarian tumor. Following that she had a staging operation. In March 2013 she started chemotherapy. She received 6 sessions of Taxol, followed by 28 sessions of radiotherapy (in the breast area), ending in August 2013.
In December 2013, the breast cancer recurred. Starting in January 2014, she has received 4 sessions of FEC chemotherapy and 4 sessions of Dositaxol & Avastin chemotherapy. She just competed 15 sessions of radiotherapy this month. Now doctors are saying no chemo is working on her as the cancer is a very aggressive TNBC (triple negative breast cancer). Right after being administered her 1st session of Dositaxol & Avastin, she fell down and fractured both her feet. A couple of days later, she was admitted to the ICU as she was not strong enough to handle the full dose of this new chemotherapy. The doctors then administered a reduced dose for the next 3 chemotherapy doses.
In spite of these chemotherapy sessions, her tumors are growing. She finished a round of radiation for her neck and left hip this month. The cancer has also spread to the skin (on her right breast area). The doctors here suggested another tablet form of chemotherapy (Xeloda), but were not able to administer it as she does not have the strength to handle its side-effects.
Sir I would like to request you to advise me on what more can be done for my sister in her present condition. Thank you so much in anticipation of your answer.
First, help her to love her life and body, even with the cancer, so her body knows she wants to live.
Help her do visual imagery so she can see in her mind’s eye that whatever treatment she chooses is not poison, but is a gift to heal her body. And she can visualize that happening.
There are cancer centers all over the world where she could go to for alternative therapies including diet, visual imagery, meditation, and other supportive, effective approaches to her disease.
Get her my books to help her to understand that she can have a big impact on her own healing—she shouldn’t just give her body over to doctors.
The two books of mine I really want her to read (or you to read to her) are Love, Medicine & Miracles, and my newest, The Art of Healing: Uncovering Your Inner Wisdom and Potential for Self-Healing.
Your sister’s desire to live is the key. I don’t have a magic pill—the magic is inside of her. Try to help her find it.