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  • New from Bernie Siegel – The Art of Healing

    Introducing Bernie Siegel's new title, The Art of Healing: Uncovering Your Inner Wisdom and Potential for Self-Healing. This long-awaited follow-up to his bestseller Love, Medicine & Miracles updates Dr. Siegel’s insights into the healing power of drawing, dreams, and intuition. The use of drawing in Bernie’s practice has helped patients discover the physical, psychological, and emotional aspects of healing and guided them toward the best choices and options for their particular situation. Learn more     Available now in bookstores everywhere. Order your copy online today at:  Wisdom of the Ages, Barnes & NobleAmazon or New World Library.
  • Bernie’s Video of the Week

    Watch a free video today! Learn more about art therapy. The free video will be available for viewing in the next weeks free of charge. Please share it with your friends. http://lumenznetworks.com/siegel/watch/positive-experience/
  • Ask Bernie a Question

    Have a question you would like to ask Bernie? Use the message box below, and be sure to include your e-mail address. Bernie will answer questions each Monday on his blog (see below). Thank you for sharing your question!

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  • Today’s Prescription for the Soul – Prescription #149 – Stir the Pot

    I hope that my “365 Prescriptions for the Soul,” will be a welcome and healing addition to your day. The prescriptions I ask you to fill are designed for your total well-being. They come from hard-earned wisdom and experience with the difficulties of life. They are dispensed “as written” with love. At the end of each prescription is my “Soulution” to help you develop healthy self-love, self-esteem, and self-worth. Please take the prescription I have written for you here and fill it right away.

    The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones
    is the way one uses them.

    - Anonymous

    When you experience uncomfortable feelings such as growing unrest, sadness, irritation, or depression, do not label them as bad feelings. Your feelings are signs that something is stirring inside of you and seeking a response.

    Our feelings aid and protect us. They help us to know what is going on inside of us and warn us to respond when there is danger. They are our directors and teachers.

    Feelings that bubble to the surface have a purpose. When you remove your judgment of them and follow their directions, they will reveal the underlying issue so that it can be resolved.

    Soulution of the Day

    When you stop resisting your feelings, you will see that they offer you a source of wisdom and an opportunity for nourishment and growth.

    - Bernie

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  • Q & A with Bernie – July 28, 2014

    Question for Bernie

    I wanted to share with you a story this morning.  I will get to the story in a minute but first wanted to fill you in a bit. Remember when I was looking for some etiology for adult onset of tremors with my son? Anyway after nine months of no gluten (Dr. P used Keifers before and after videos in Dr. Oz special if you saw) that has resolved and life moves on.

    I am still learning.  Lately, I have been very overwhelmed with life.  I’m still a single mom, my youngest in engineering school at CU, two adult sons back home, a mother who turned 90, and the family dysfunction that has exploded in the last year around that, me turning 53 and feeling alone, and still figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.  I am also working for the Dominican Sisters Home Health agency (the only free home care for the poor and elderly in the country) while contending with my own issues—6th cranial nerve damage and skin cancer, and yet all of that pales in comparison to my cousins Grade 4 glioblastoma…..the fragileness of life.

    So that brings me to my story.  I had thought of connecting with you prior, but this moved me to do so.  I woke up at 4:30 in the morning to a burning smell in my home and went downstairs to find a pot on full heat burnt to a crisp and filling the home with yuck. My 23-year-old son was drunk and asleep in the chair—this is the second pot he burned in less than a week—and this is the day that my Sisters at Home Health planned a 90th birthday celebration for my mom, but didn’t bother to tell me about it prior to the event mailing! A gut punch I am still learning to be with.

    My way is to move my body when I feel the emotions mounting and nowhere to escape. This is all on top of being three months with no period at 53. Remember when you helped me with a broken heart back in 2010. I have not been with anyone since. I met someone in March whom I have been seeing, but I keep noticing old stuff still coming up from that last man I loved so deeply who was so deceptive. Do I want another relationship?

    So off I go this morning early (before all the people- it has become too commercialized- five years ago- solitude all the time).  I run up a flight of stairs thinking about my cousin dying and I’ve got the Fray blaring in my ear,” love don’t die.” I run to the top only to be turned away for an exercise class starting soon.

    I turn around, catch my breath, and head back down the stairs.  There was no one in sight, then, out of nowhere a baby deer comes running up the stairs! I burst into tears and continued walking toward the deer. I was on my side going down, he or she was on the other side coming up.  I stopped and leaned against the side railing and watched the little deer continue up and past me. I connected with its feeling of being trapped, feeling out of place, not recognizing things, and connected that to me, my birth family. The flood of tears was a welcome release.

    The baby deer hopped over the fence, and I ran down to the truck to get my phone to walk back up and make a video for my cousin as a “good morning hello” and tell her the story. On my way back up the stairs, the most beautiful bluebird jumped up about five flights of stairs directly in front of me as I filmed and said good morning, as if to say come on, keep on climbing, and she was doing it with a jump in her step and so pretty and graceful! I had to giggle at this life. It was as if my angels were telling me that everything’s going to be alright.

    Love to you Bernie…

    Bernie’s Answer

    Yes, I remember you. You can jump the fence like the deer and what you see in the bluebird is in you.

    Be a love warrior and drive people nuts with your love no matter how they behave, but also discipline your son so he doesn’t burn the house down.

    Remember, addicts all are searching for love from artificial sources.

    Peace,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie

    I interviewed you for the movie Turn Off Cancer –  Turn On Life three years ago by the little pond in one of your children’s gardens. It was such a beautiful interview.

    Last month I was diagnosed with cancer myself.  This news came just as I was getting back on my feet, teaching workshops and retreats again, with lots of amazing projects, and bang!  Cancer diagnosis. It feels like a joke. I guess my body gave up after so much adversity, stress, and the sense of failure attached to making the movie.

    I understand also that the divine is behind it, and I can see the message which is very obvious. I cannot postpone any longer focusing on my own care and happiness. Surgery is scheduled for in eight days. I don’t really know what to do about chemo and radiation, but they have already mentioned the customary 21 sessions of radiation and some chemo just in case.

    I cannot find an integrative oncologist in Spain who I can trust and afford. I never thought that this would happen to me, to healthy, super-conscious little me.  I understand that I went through a very difficult period on all levels of my life. The stress and trauma has been “off the roof” and relentless, I ended up  with no emotional support, was hardly eating or sleeping, feeling exhausted, burned out, lost, and abandoned. I can see how the tumor’s growth makes sense.

    My question to you is this: If the surgery leaves the area clean, the tumor is completely encapsulated, and I am rigorously careful with my diet and environmental toxins; if I really manage stress in my life, improve my social support by being more in touch, and recover my sense of purpose and sense of being part of a magnificent, mysterious, benevolent universe… can I say no to radiation and chemotherapy?

    Please I am asking you as a desperate cry, not so much as a professional, but as a friend.  I don’t know where to turn. I am not going to blame you if my choices don’t work. I am only asking for your sincere, honest, human opinion. What would you tell your sister, wife, mother, or daughter if they were in my situation, or what would you do yourself in a similar situation?

    I am confused in spite of having so much information. Your opinion would be an orientation to me, as you are more in touch with the clinical practice and the literature. Under which criteria  might it be wise to say no to conventional therapies and go with the body-mind connection to regain health, or to create health again?

    I have been so healthy all of my life, and hopefully I heard the definitive message of this cancer occurring now. I am really ready to create a life of coherence that respects the needs of my body and still be able to make a big contribution to the Spanish speaking countries regarding mindfulness. My most heartfelt gratitude on advance.

    Bernie’s Answer

    Yes I remember you.  My question to you is, “Are you trying not to die, or trying to do what feels right for you?  Your answer can help you decide about surgery.  Let your heart make up your mind.

    Your tumor is hormone receptor+ so you could use aromatase inhibitors and not chemo if things look good.

    Also, picture surgery going very well in your mind several times a day and see the tumors melting away in your images.

    When treatment options come up, you can make a drawing for each of them and I can look at the drawings and help you to decide on the basis of what your inner wisdom and consciousness tell us in your drawings.

    Peace,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie (answer to Bernie from question and answer above)

    No, dear Bernie, I am not trying not to die. I want to live.  But because so many things have gone wrong in my life lately, I learned to distrust my intuition. I am afraid that some of my choices have been so wild and have endangered my life.

    I have mixed feelings. I don’t want to be a fundamentalist who says that all conventional medicine is wrong, and at the same time, I am sure my cancer is due to hormones, environmental toxins, lack of rest, and stress. But I eat a very healthy diet, although I started to drink a couple of glasses of wine each night, and that might have impaired my liver.

    I abused myself working 20 hours a day nonstop on the movie project for three years.

    So if I really start taking good care of myself, and control the estrogen and other hormones, it should be OK.

    Yes, I will send you the drawings when they signify something to me. I already feel much better. Your words have soothed me a great deal. I send you my warmest regards.

    Bernie’s Answer

    Cancer is growth gone wrong.  It is a message to take a new road in your life.  Follow your heart and stop thinking.  You need to feel what is right and then do it.

    Love your life and body, and self-induced healing occurs.


    Question for Bernie

    I was referred to you by one of my friends who spoke very highly of you and your methods to battle cancer and save several people from the jaws of untimely death.  I am writing to you with hope that you may be able to help my sister, who was first diagnosed with cancer in February of 2013 and has been fighting with the disease bravely ever since.  Her details are explained in the synopsis below.  She has tried various doctors in the UAE, Mumbai, and elsewhere including the U.S.  Now all the doctors have given up.  Her reports are attached herewith for your reference.  Can you advise in this matter as time is running out fast for my sister?

    Synopsis
    In February of 2013, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer (right breast) and ovarian cancer. She underwent a mastectomy and surgical removal of the ovarian tumor. Following that she had a staging operation. In March 2013 she started chemotherapy. She received 6 sessions of Taxol, followed by 28 sessions of radiotherapy (in the breast area), ending in August 2013.

    In December 2013, the breast cancer recurred. Starting in January 2014, she has received 4 sessions of FEC chemotherapy and 4 sessions of Dositaxol & Avastin chemotherapy. She just competed 15 sessions of radiotherapy this month. Now doctors are saying no chemo is working on her as the cancer is a very aggressive TNBC (triple negative breast cancer). Right after being administered her 1st session of Dositaxol & Avastin, she fell down and fractured both her feet. A couple of days later, she was admitted to the ICU as she was not strong enough to handle the full dose of this new chemotherapy. The doctors then administered a reduced dose for the next 3 chemotherapy doses.

    In spite of these chemotherapy sessions, her tumors are growing. She finished a round of radiation for her neck and left hip this month.  The cancer has also spread to the skin (on her right breast area). The doctors here suggested another tablet form of chemotherapy (Xeloda), but were not able to administer it as she does not have the strength to handle its side-effects.

    Sir I would like to request you to advise me on what more can be done for my sister in her present condition. Thank you so much in anticipation of your answer.

    Bernie’s Answer

    First, help her to love her life and body, even with the cancer, so her body knows she wants to live.

    Help her do visual imagery so she can see in her mind’s eye that whatever treatment she chooses is not poison, but is a gift to heal her body.  And she can visualize that happening.

    There are cancer centers all over the world where she could go to for alternative therapies including diet, visual imagery, meditation, and other supportive, effective approaches to her disease.

    Get her my books to help her to understand that she can have a big impact on her own healing—she shouldn’t just give her body over to doctors.

    The two books of mine I really want her to read (or you to read to her) are Love, Medicine & Miracles, and my newest, The Art of Healing: Uncovering Your Inner Wisdom and Potential for Self-Healing.

    Your sister’s desire to live is the key.  I don’t have a magic pill—the magic is inside of her.  Try to help her find it.

    Peace,
    Bernie

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    Q & A with Bernie – July 21, 2014

    Question for Bernie

    I contacted you five years ago when I had my second mastectomy.  Two nodes were involved and they took eight.  I had a 75% chance of it not returning if I did nothing and it only went up into the 80′s if I did chemo.

    I decided to decline the chemo and now five years later I’m still going with no evidence of a recurrence.  I recently had a bone scan and it only turned up arthritis which was not a surprise for an almost 74 year old.

    Thank you for all you have done for me and for all the other cancer patients you have helped.

    Bernie’s Answer

    As I often say, it is a pleasure to coach a talented performer.  Keep doing the things you are doing because your body is clearly getting the message that you love it and the life you lead.

    Peace,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie

    My Dad has terminal brain cancer (lymphoma) and recently fell.  He is paralyzed on his right side and unable to talk.  Can you give me any ideas or suggestions as to what direction to go?  We are all SO distressed.

    Bernie’s Answer

    Ask him to blink his eyes once for YES and twice for NO.  Test whether he understands that by asking him if he can do that.  If he does understand he should blink once.  Then, if he can communicate with you using this method,

    • ask him to think of himself in an all-white room, then
    • ask him if he would feel happy, and
    • if he blinks once for YES, then
    • you will know that the all-white room represents a place of peace, and he is ready to leave his body

    There are times when leaving our body is the best treatment and allows us to be perfect again.

    Let him know that if he needs to go, you can all handle it, and will be happy thinking about him whole and perfect again.

    In my own experience, my dad’s words were, “I need to get out of here.”  My mom said, “Okay,” and he died surrounded by loved ones with my mom telling stories, which made him laugh.

    He died laughing and looking wonderful, so talk about your memories with your father if he wants to go to the peace of the all-white room. He will hear you, and the memory of his leaving his body will be a good one for you and for him, just as it was for me and my father.

    Peace,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie

    In the fledgling days of Community Health Care Physicians at Yale, I was brought in at age 20, a few weeks after giving birth to my first child. After a prolonged hospitalization and many transfusions, Yale sent me home. The night I got home, I hemorrhaged from my bowels terribly. My OB/GYN told me not to worry about it, and to come back in to CHCP in the morning. I told you when I got to the ER, after my family was told to make arrangements for my child, that I was going to survive, that I would prove you all wrong, and would live to 110 until my son didn’t need me anymore. You wouldn’t let them quit working on me in the ER based on what I told you even though it looked grim for my survival.

    Thank you—my belief in the power of the mind over the body started then. I am now 58 years old and have been diagnosed with no less than 13 autoimmune diseases as well, as breast cancer and other serious health conditions. I have survived it all and fight daily to make the ripe old age of 110. If it weren’t for you and the other team members of Siegel Seltzer Graham and McCulloch, I wouldn’t be writing this email. This thank you has been a long time coming, but I want you to know that every night before I lay my head down and say my prayers, I thank the Lord for giving me some of the finest doctors in the world.

    In those days, much wasn’t known about Crohn’s disease or its treatments. But you all gave me the best of your expertise and I am forever grateful. Through it all I have kept a positive and upbeat attitude, never letting diagnosis after diagnosis as they came along in my life break my resilience and determination to make 110 years young. Recently while visiting my cancer doctor, I broke down into tears, and then started laughing. She said, “With all you have gone through it is OK to cry, if anyone deserves to it is you.” I picked my chin up and smiled at her and said, “You know doc, there is one diagnosis I would like to add to all the ones I have received.” She looked at me horrified, then, saw my smile. I said, “I would like to have the diagnosis of hypochondriac. You see, I look at it this way, if I could just have that diagnosis then everything else would have just been a bad dream.”

    Thank you, Dr. Siegel, for the gift of life, a positive attitude, and the chance to finally thank you for your insight, perseverance in saving my life that day in the ER, and for writing such wonderful books, which have supported me and many, many more people during times of duress. I, too, someday would like to write a book about my life, because it has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, diagnosis after diagnosis, hospitalization after hospitalization, and more bumps in the road then most humans could endure. But endure I have, and much of that has been because I have a strong conviction about giving your word to someone. I gave you my word when I was just 20 years old that I would be here on earth until I was 110, and I don’t have any plans on going back on it for another 52 years at least. Not everyone sticks by an ill person, but I have taken those lumps too and am still standing.

    Thank you for helping me find the will to survive and for guiding me from afar for all these years.

    Warmest Regards—oh hell, you deserve more than that—I’m sending you my gratitude and
    Love!

    Bernie’s Answer

    Bless you.  You had the talent and we’ll all come to your birthday party.

    I want you to take these words to heart—live your authentic life and not just for your daughter. You are much more than a mother—you are a teacher who instructs those fortunate enough to be around you by your example.

    Getting the anger out about having to ride that roller coaster is really important.  Writing a book would be a good way to start.   By the way, I am still running support groups in Woodbridge.

    Peace and love,
    Bernie

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    Q & A with Bernie – July 14, 2014

    Question for Bernie

    Again, thank you for your meaningful and direct words. I come back to them often, if not daily!

    I finished my fifth of six chemo rounds last week. After six, I get a PET scan to determine my next steps. Based upon their initial recommendations, I’m anticipating they will put me on maintenance drugs that include some level of chemo indefinitely and perform scans to monitor. There’s a possibility they may also recommend gamma knife for my primary lung tumor.

    I know you said stop thinking! That’s easier said than done. I am 48-years-old and the thought of what chemo/maintenance indefinitely may do to my body is concerning. I’m reading a lot about less toxic/alternative treatments. How do I evaluate these alternatives? For example there are doctors who appear to help stage IV cancers without all the toxicity. Any guidance from you regarding alternative treatments would be so very much appreciated.

    Bernie’s Answer

    You have to let your heart make up your mind.  Doing what is right for you and trying not to die are two different things.  You are alive now and your choices are about living in a way that your Mind-Body-Spirit connection tells you is right for you.

    Picture yourself doing well with what you choose and successfully pushing your constant negative thoughts out with that positive picture.

    Our minds give us the potential to influence what happens in our bodies, so if you are envisioning that your choice of treatment is right for you, there will not be negative side effects.

    Find a doctor who practices integrative medicine, incorporating into your treatment alternative approaches like supplements to support your body’s immune system and overall health.

    Peace,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie

    Sharing a joy!

    Thursday of last week, the oncologist threatened to hospitalize for a blood transfusion if my hemoglobin didn’t go up.  The low for normal hemoglobin is 12; my level was 8.    He wanted me to come back in for another blood sample on Monday.  I put him off until Tuesday morning this week, believing if I had one more day to pray, do my positive mental imagery, eat foods, and exercise to build up my hemoglobin, it would go up sufficiently for him to leave me alone.

    The exercise part wasn’t easy, but I got it done.  Swimming is easier for me than walking, so I did that, but had to have my husband and another man help me exit the pool since I wasn’t strong enough to do it by myself.   Tuesday, at 2 minutes to 5 PM, the oncologist’s nurse called to say that my hemoglobin count had gone up sufficiently so that neither a blood transfusion nor further blood work was needed.   THANK YOU, GOD!!

    I went swimming again today to continue to build up my hemoglobin, and I was able to climb up the ladder and exit the pool by myself. Thursday of next week is the test to see if all the cancer is gone and the chemotherapy can stop; Bernie, I am doing everything I have read from you to make it happen.  Thank you!

    The oncologist wanted me to do three treatments of chemotherapy even if the PET scan shows negative, his idea being to prevent cancer from coming back.  I told him “No.”  I really believe chemicals don’t prevent cancer.

    Bernie’s Answer

    You are an exceptional human being.

    Keep visualizing your bone marrow turning out the red blood cells.  Images work with the body—even seeing yourself swimming increases the muscle strength in those muscles used when you actually do swim.

    Peace,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie

    Thanks Bernie. Do you know/recommend any doctors closer to Delaware—the ones finding success with lung cancers?

    Can you help me better understand what you meant when you wrote:  “…doing what is right for you and trying not to die are two different things.”

    I am grateful as always for your help and knowledge.

    Bernie’s Answer

    If you are trying not to die you do everything every one recommends, whether you like the treatments or not.

    Doing what is right for you means that you can say “no” to what others prescribe.  See attached drawing.  She hates her doctors and feels sorry for herself and her cancer.

    Peace,
    Bernie

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    Q & A with Bernie – July 7, 2014

    Question for Bernie

    I don’t know where to start. Just until yesterday I thought I was absolutely fine with no issues. And that my allergies, asthma, and constant fight with skin conditions were just caused by my poor diet. That was actually the reason I went to IIN (Institute for Integrative Nutrition) where I heard your lecture.  Oh my God, how wrong I was.

    My dad was an abusive alcoholic who I loved dearly. I was a born into love and grew up at that stage until about the age of five. That I think gave me initial strength to handle the rest. Then he started drinking and physically and mentally abusing my mother who stayed with him for 13 years. It started slowly but gradually grew into a huge snowball. We shared a two-bedroom apartment with a family—we only had one room. So whatever happened, I was there. Then my mother decided, as she says, to give me a sibling, even though my dad was drinking heavily by then, so I would not feel that alone.

    My sister was born and things got totally worse to the point that we would run out of our home while my father was sleeping and hide at our neighbors and friends, or go to my grandmother’s home in the village. I was 11 when my sister was born and the only income we had was from my mom. So I was babysitting, taking my sister to daycare and picking her up, and cooking. Yes, I started cooking at 11. I loved it. My mom finally got a divorce and managed to make my father leave. He went back to his parents to the suburbs. He stopped bothering us but continued his terror and drinking at his parents with the same physical and mental abuse pattern.

    He never saw my sister after the divorce. I would go see him occasionally hoping he would not be drunk. When I was 20, I came to the U.S., met a wonderful person and got married. The guilt of leaving my little sister, who I had rocked to sleep through tears while my mom screamed in the next room, was killing me. I wanted to go back but my mom, being a wise person, made me stay and build my life in the U.S. the way I wanted. I did, and I love my life. I am 32 now.

    I have tears rolling down as I am writing this. I really thought I was OK, but I now understand what is behind my health problems. I always thought of what we had to go through as a family was there for a reason and only made me stronger. I always viewed it as a good thing. But at the same time, I was always trying to find out why? Why did my dad go from being a gorgeous, smart 6 foot tall, never drinking athlete to a miserable, sick and dying person from alcohol abuse.

    He did die two years ago, on my sister’s birthday. I did not get a chance to tell him he had a grandson. I did not get a chance to find out why. I asked him once, “Why are you drinking?” He cried. And I was stupid enough to get frustrated and walk away. All these years I would write him letters but he would never reply. When I asked him why he never answered my letters he said he had nothing to write me—that I already knew that he loved me.

    I am writing all this actually to say THANK YOU Bernie. If you had a phone number I would call, I would love to give you a hug…as I actually need one myself right now. I think I understand now what happened to my father. All he needed was love. He was empty. Even being married and having a child. Maybe that created too much of a contrast with his own unloved childhood. He was always compared to his sister—she was good and he was bad.

    I have no strength to continue thinking about this right now as too many revelations are coming to me. I am thinking that if only I could have been loving, even overly loving, with him, would that have cured him? Would I have been able to replenish his damaged soul? How can I deal with this in order to continue being healthy and not carry what I might have done to help him around with me through the rest of my life? I want to put it at rest. Please help.

    And I am sorry for such a long story. I have to stop crying now as my co-workers are by now probably thinking something horrible happened. I would love to talk to you if that is possible in any way.  THANK YOU again Bernie. I cannot say that enough. I think this is the beginning of the healing that I did not know I needed.

    Bernie’s Answer

    Yes, the healing is beginning for you.  As you stop storing your life’s wounds in your body, you start to heal both your life and your body.

    Yes, you can become what I call a love warrior and heal through giving love to all those who you can see need it because they are not now, nor probably did they as a child, get the love they need.  It can be a tribute to your father as you share how you came to understand him by loving others, and loving yourself.  Always stay open to receiving the love coming your way, too.

    Your father does know what you are consciously sharing about how much you loved him, and about your discovery that his behavior was a result of being unloved as a child.  His body died but not his consciousness.  You may even find a message from him, or your sister, through having a symbolic sign appear in your life that reminds you of them.

    Forgive yourself and move forward through the labor pains of life and give birth to your authentic self.  You are a remarkable young woman to have come through the fire and still be able to love. Bless you.

    Now you have a new dad in me—your CD, or Chosen Dad.  Let me hear from you often and be there for you.

    Peace,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie

    What if what makes me happy doesn’t make others happy?  How do I channel all the energy I have? When I talk to people they get chills all the time from what I say. Is this a positive reaction?

    Bernie’s Answer

    If you choose life enhancing behavior everyone benefits.  Don’t think only of yourself all the time, but also not only of others.  Before you can help others in any way, you have to know yourself and love yourself.

    If you bring out good feelings in people, it is a good sign of what they see in you.  Follow your heart and do what makes you happy with your energy and life.  Take time to find your authentic self by meditating or through guided imagery.  You can also try seeing someone who does energy therapy.  Resolve to find the real you deep within, and then live as that “true you.”

    Peace,
    Bernie

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    Q & A with Bernie – June 30, 2014

    Question for Bernie

    Good morning,

    No real success with my dreams. I’m continuing guided imagery but don’t really recall any dreams that I can write down.

    What else would you suggest as I continue on this healing path? I am feeling relatively well going into my fifth chemo round next week.

    Lung cancer is a tough one as I continually see statistics that scare me. I’m trying to focus on not being a statistic, but it’s really scary some days.

    There are “survivor” websites where people blog about living with lung cancer. I’m not sure they are helpful. What do you think?

    Your insight and advice are so very much appreciated.

    Bernie’s Answer

    I recognize how hard this is to do, especially for someone trained as an attorney, but you must simply stop thinking. If the phrase “stop overthinking everything” works better for you, then use that as your constant mantra to eliminate the thoughts you gather from blogs, for example, from swirling around in your head.  They are crowding out your ability to focus on you OWN thoughts.

    You are not a statistic.  Again, resolve to remove thinking in terms of what has become a cultural norm—statistics as truth for everything.  In any given area where statistics are presented as “the absolute truth” there is wide disagreement among the scientists and other professionals who engage in compiling statistics.  The fact that one can find even one person or situation that does not conform to the “statistics” is all we need to know that it is damaging to build our lives around these numbers that seem so solid and irrefutable but are actually built on highly manipulated shaky foundations.

    The key is creating a life you love and by doing that, your body gets the message that you love it and intend to LIVE.  Let go of anger and hurt that created past wounds and free yourself to visualize what you want the future to be like.  Crowd out fearful thoughts—leave no room at all for them in what you choose to think about every day.

    Say this to yourself many times every day:

    Life is about today and not next year!

    So enjoy the day as children and animals do—living in the present moment.

    I know a lot of people who didn’t die when they thought they were going to because they went home to do what they loved to do with the time they had left.  That is the key to true happiness, whether we have an illness or are perfectly healthy. None of us will be around forever, so I’ll leave you with this beautiful quote from Rabindranath Tagore, the first non-European to win the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1913.  He began writing poetry at the age of eight, and you might find other quotes of his about life and love wonderfully helpful.

    “The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.”
    ~Rabindranath Tagore

    Peace,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie

    How to develop my own sense of humor? I mean, how can I be as funny as you?

    Which of your books or tapes should I get?

    Wishing you the best.

    Bernie’s Answer

    Get back in touch with the child in you—become a kid again.  Don’t censor yourself so much and as long as your comments are not hurtful or making people uncomfortable, blurt them out like kids do when it is appropriate.

    We all have multiple personalities that we use in all the different situations life presents to us.

    So, instead of following the crowd and “growing old,” grow young. Read the new Prescription I just posted, Rx #160—it is all about growing down instead of growing up.

    Try what I do when someone hands me something and says, “sign here.” I just write the word “here” like a kid would do. It helps to remind people that life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time.

    Bernie

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    Q & A with Bernie – June 23, 2014

    Question or Bernie

    I could really use your guidance and input regarding my dearest and closest friend, my wife of 40 years. She’s gravely ill right now. The docs don’t know what’s wrong yet, but I have a good idea. Chronic stress causing long-term toxicities has driven her to unmanageable high BP and possibly cancer. She has always taken care to eat good, organic, whole foods for years.

    She’s dealing with high levels of systemic oxidative stress, which is causing multi-organ compromise including the kidneys, heart, liver, and immune systems. She had been seeing a great somatic counselor, but had stopped going after I had a near death experience in October. I’m fine now, but she just can’t let go of past issues, including EVERY decision she’s ever made which she is now questioning. If I can’t figure out a way to help her, I’m afraid I’ll lose her forever. We still have much to accomplish, and five beautiful grandchildren to watch grow up.

    Bernie’s Answer

    For supportive therapies I highly recommend finding a good naturopath who can be very helpful.  “Mainstream doctors” are trained to treat results and not causes, so you need the investigative nature and abilities of a naturopath who will actively look for causes and treat them.

    I also want you to try getting her to meditate.  A positive mantra is always helpful. Try something like this:

    Thank you for everything
    I am happy
    I am healthy

    I love my life

    I have no complaint whatsoever

    Repeat the above mantra for 15 minutes or more daily.

    Please ask her to read some of my books, for example Faith, Hope and Healing; A Book of Miracles; 365 Prescriptions for the Soul; and 101 Exercises for the Soul.

    Help her work on creating a life she can love. Think about the metaphor of eating food to meet our body’s needs when it lets us know when we are hungry, and nourishing your mind and spirit when we have hunger and need for nourishment in those areas.

    Peace,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie

    It was a pleasure to meet with you at the dinner in New Jersey a few weeks ago. I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m the one in head to toe black with the history of IBD. When I was diagnosed in 1990, your book, Love, Medicine, and Miracles was always in my hands. It truly was a full circle moment when I was invited to come see you in person.

    Here is a bit of my story:

    http://www.mycentraljersey.com/story/news/local/middlesex-county/2014/05/18/edison-fights-backs-inflammatory-bowel-disease/9210033/

    How I came to the cancer center is connected to entering grad school at Rutgers in the fall for my Master’s in Clinical Social Work, and my field internship will be at the center. My goal is to be a psychotherapist specifically for the chronically and terminally ill dabbling in alternative therapies (just got my Reiki II practitioner and Aromatherapy certifications, and plan to learn acupressure and reflexology as well.

    It was so so so so so so so so wonderful to meet with you and I am praying your wife is well, or as well as can be. Autoimmune diseases are quite challenging.

    PS: come to Jersey soon :)

    Bernie’s Answer

    Yes to everything you sent me.  I want you to work on eliminating any stored anger—let it out.

    Maybe I can lecture at Rutgers again in the future for you.

    I highly recommend the recent book, YOU ARE THE PLACEBO. It is a very good one for therapists.

    Peace be with you,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie

    Ha! Interesting what you said about getting rid of the anger since it is one of the emotions I have had a problem with. I don’t ever yell, and to be frank, anger scares me to no end when people are expressing it. I’m not an easy crier either. I’m known for wearing a perpetual smile and maintaining calm and positivity in any situation.

    I will have to think about this more in terms of the damage it may be doing to me to internalize anger.

    Enjoy your weekend! I will definitely check out the book YOU ARE THE PLACEBO.

    Bernie’s Answer

    When you internalize anger you attack yourself.  It sets the stage for autoimmune diseases.  In our culture often women are simply not allowed to express anger like men do—they are deemed everything from just “hysterical” to mentally ill.  So it is about learning how to get your real thoughts out without “over the top” emotion.  When you express them when you experience them, you have a far better chance of working through the anger in a calm and successful way.  It is when you store them up for years that a day might come when everything just explodes.

    There is appropriate anger and then there is righteous indignation.  One of the most effective tools to foil people who keep anger at the forefront of their emotional interactions is to become a “Love Warrior.” So, when you feel that you are not respected, become a “love warrior” using love as your most powerful weapon. It is a “weapon” that doesn’t hurt, but instead often succeeds in bringing people around to at least respect each other and each other’s views and beliefs.  Many scientists believe that human beings were meant to be cooperative for survival and have those instincts.  Our anger, whether hurting us one-on-one, or in the mounting of terrible wars nation against nation is really against all that is in our true human nature.

    Peace,
    Bernie

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    Q & A with Bernie – June 16, 2014

    Question for Bernie

    I don’t know what to do, but I’m listening to an interview of you with Steve Maraboli right now, and I guess I’m hoping that something in there is going to stop me from what I’ve been thinking of doing.

    I’ve had a bit of a hard life, I guess. My dad died when I was six, and before he was buried I started getting sexually abused by my older brother. My mum walked in on him assaulting me, and told us both to pack a bag and get out. She said she never wanted to see us again. She watched us walk away, and I had no choice but to go with my brother.

    After a couple of days, a friend’s mum called my mum to ask why we weren’t with her and staying with our mother when our dad had just died and was about to be buried. Mum let us come home, but said she never wanted to know or talk about it then. I started getting raped by my brother then. It happened until I was 14.

    My mum remarried a very violent criminal pedophile when I was 14. My stepfather took over sexually abusing me, as well as physically, mentally, and emotionally. I tried to protect my younger brother from my stepfather, so I took as much abuse as I could. My stepfather threatened that if I told my mother, he would throw her and my little half-sister (his daughter) out into the streets with no money.

    I figured I was damaged goods anyway so I thought that I may as well sacrifice myself to protect three people I cared about. But it got to the stage where I started getting worried about my little sister after watching some warning signs from my stepfather, so I came forward and went to the police.

    Since then (2012), my stepfather has been trying to kill me. In 2011 my stepfather walked out on my mother, and she and my little sister moved into a small apartment with all our family’s stuff. Less than three weeks later, only five days before Christmas, a random woman was high from sniffing glue and burnt it down. Everything was lost and we were majorly under-insured. At the time I was on medical leave because I had been diagnosed with a serious brain condition and told I needed surgery. I ended up losing my job because of that.

    I got another job in September 2012 as an insurance sales rep, but in December of that year we had to go into police protection and hiding because of my ex-stepfather trying to kill us, especially me. My job was commission only, so for most of 2013, I didn’t have a regular income because I had to go into hiding as the protection orders were being breached.

    I’m 29 now, but when I was 22, I managed to buy my own apartment, and since then I have been the only one paying all the bills – mortgage repayments, rates, body corporate fees, everything. I haven’t had a partner for all this time after the issues of my childhood. In September of last year I was issued court documents to repossess my house as I hadn’t been able to keep up the repayments because of being in hiding.

    I managed to come to an agreement with the bank where they would halt all repayments until February 2014, and then I had to pay $1375 a month for February, March, and April before the bank would refinance all the arrears into the home loan.

    In December I was diagnosed with a serious case of dengue fever and pneumonia and ended up in hospital. I was so sick that doctors gave me medical certificates from December 2013 until almost the end of February 2014. So, I couldn’t make the hardship arrangement and I got a notice to evict my home on May 20th. I believed and placed all my trust that the outcome was assured, and some amazing people came into my life and managed to halt the eviction until the 20th of June.

    You know, even though I am still going through treatment and am always a work in progress, I think that my past and everything I’ve been through is just that…a past story that doesn’t define who I am now. And I have done everything in my power to learn to trust and believe in creating good in my life. I’ve been so tempted sometimes to take shortcuts and compromise my standards, but I’ve always stopped myself short by telling myself that nothing is worth being less than the very highest and best person that I can possibly be. I’ve always had trust issues as I’ve never been able to trust anyone in the past, but I’m trying.

    But I’m lost right now. On the 5th of June I was given a full-time permanent job as a Travel Manager. But despite the bank telling me that all it takes is for me to have a stable job and be able to service my home loan, they refuse to call off the eviction.  I’m being evicted for just over $10,000.

    Monday is a public holiday and at 7AM Tuesday, the removalists and Bailiff will be here to change the locks and pack my things. I have nowhere to go. I have a Domestic Violence Order against this address, and the police and the Domestic Violence Centre came out in March to fully secure the property to protect me from my ex-stepfather. I feel empty. I can’t see a way to stop this in time.

    Every time I’ve been knocked down, I’ve picked myself back up and found a way. But I can’t find a way this time. I can trust when I see a glimmer of light, but I can’t see anything but complete darkness right now. And I don’t know how to trust when there’s nothing left. Half of me would love to be able to take your advice and blindly trust, but the other part is just too tired after so much. But thank you for all the help you provide to people. Kindest Regards.

    Bernie’s Answer

    It is far from easy to explain why some of us must endure so very much more than others. All one can do is reach for the wisdom of the sages to help you answer the question, “What am I to learn from this journey through hell?” In their wisdom gathered from the beginning of human life, they tell us that just as your body gives you the feeling that your stomach is empty and needs nourishment, the feelings you are having now are guiding you to the people and places that will, at long last, nourish your mind and spirit.   Listen carefully to those feelings and keep uppermost in your mind that you are moving away from harm—out of harm’s way for the rest of your life.  You were powerless as a child, but now you are your own person entirely and can make choices that you know are the best for you and reflecting your admirable ethical standards and caring heart.  Miraculously, those precious parts of you were not crushed by the evil you endured.  Take a moment right now and celebrate that incredible inner core you have—it is time now to embrace yourself with love and understanding.  Let the healing continue that I see already beginning just by your reaching out to write this letter—and listening to a program on the radio focused on finding within yourself the path to overcoming and healing from a very difficult early life.

    See yourself now as your own protector, and envision the future where you eliminate negative, harmful people from your life immediately. Do not hesitate to walk away from any person or situation that you see as in any way problematic, negative, or harmful to your body, mind, and spirit.  Your priority from now on is healing your body, mind, and spirit—and celebrating that they are connected within you for the purpose of letting you live a loving, meaningful life of your choice.

    Clearly you are a caring “rescuer” but remember this first and foremost—you cannot really help anyone else until you have completely healed yourself and built the kind of strength that will protect you totally from terrible situations and people.  You will be drawn to exactly where you belong if you listen to your heart first, and make healing your body, mind, and spirit your top priority.  That is not being selfish—it is being selfless to become the best, strongest, most positive person you can be—to, as you said yourself—leave the past behind and never let it intrude upon your healing and happiness from now on.  It is very hard to believe, but everything we experience does happen for a reason that is part of our life’s journey.

    You are so fortunate to have a kind, loving soul. Even the hell you have been through, it remained intact.   It is so inspirational that even after what you have endured, you are still searching.  That is all I need to know to believe that you will find your path—YOUR path.  Each morning, envision how much stronger you are with each passing day, and how much further away all the negatives you’ve endured are now.  Let yourself stand tall so that when people meet you, they see that incredible inner strength that you have.  They don’t need to know any details about how you grew into a strong, self-possessed, ethical, desirable, and positive person—they will just gravitate to you because they sense that you are a person well worth knowing.  You richly deserve happiness and you can now have it because you, and only you, can make the choices about how you live your life.

    You will find that you no longer fear relationships because you know that the very moment you sense something negative, you will walk away from it.  By the same token, when you sense a like-minded soul, you will not be afraid to explore and build a relationship. It is important to actively look around to see where you might be comfortable and enjoy being among people, whether in a service or volunteer group, or a church group—something most likely to be warm and allow your loving soul to shine.

    Loneliness leads to vulnerability and sometimes to illness, so give some real thought to the kind of people you enjoy and situations you find safe and healing—then actively look for such a place.  Even a very little bit of volunteer work—just an hour or two a week for a good cause is where you are likely to find an atmosphere that helps you heal.  Choose something positive—like a library or gift shop.  If you really love animals, you could look into helping out an older person take care of their pet or even work or volunteer in a “Pet Daycare” if they are within the area where you live.

    Please repeat a mantra throughout the day to break the negative pattern of thinking. You could pick, for example, any one of the following lines, or you could repeat all of the lines as your mantra.  It is entirely your choice…and if you think of something like a single word you like better, repeat that.  Just be sure to have a mantra that you repeat throughout each day to keep you focused on your healing, to lift your spirits, and to surround you with a sense of self-confidence and safety.

    Thank you for everything
    I am happy
    I am healthy
    I love my life
    I have no complaint whatsoever

    Bless you and I will become your CD = Chosen Dad.  As your Chosen Dad, I will answer you when you e-mail your questions and concerns to me.  I am here for you to help you get in touch with your body, mind, and spirit, and see the sun shining through the clouds.

    Your Chosen Dad,

    Bernie

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    Q & A with Bernie – June 9, 2014

    Question for Bernie

    I wrote to you a few weeks ago re my mom who has secondary cancer with an undiagnosed primary. I appreciated your reply which helped me to see things a bit more clearly. However since then my mom’s illness has gotten worse. I am very close to my mom, and it has been a very difficult six months for all of us, of course mostly for my mom. What I didn’t mention in my last email was that my mom’s sister has made life even harder for us all of us.

    She was in the medical profession and decided from the word go that she knew best by telling us the time frame my mom had left, and making some ridiculous statements—for example, that she has 75% of her grieving done.  She made this statement when mom was just in the early stages of treatment. She is a very strong character and is “always right” and every time we spoke to her, it was about death. She just deflated us with her “know it all negative predictions.” Unfortunately my mom listens to my aunt and thinks she knows all.

    Their own mom died when they were very young, and I feel my aunt thinks she is preparing us even though we are adults.  I offered to stay home when my aunt arranged for us all to go to a wedding of some goon overseas, but my mom insisted I go. The day before we flew over, my aunt rang my mom and told her that she did not think her family knew how sick my mom was—and then asked my mom if she knew she may not have much time! This really upset my mom. By the time we returned from the wedding after having a very upsetting time with my aunt continuing to hound us about ridiculous things. We could not get a phone signal so we were worried about mom.

    After just being gone for two days, we came home to find mom back in the hospital. At that point, mom was very angry and told us we all went off and left her. We were very annoyed with my aunt so did not speak to her for weeks as we don’t want to say something we regret for mom’s sake. Mom is now very jaundiced and she is on a lot of medication.  She sometimes does not want to take the medication as it makes her drowsy and relaxes her muscles making her less able to move around.

    I try to be gentle with her and give her choices as I want her to still have some control. She is in pain, though, when she does not take them. My aunt has visited and I am polite for mom’s sake, and also I don’t have the energy to be angry. She did get her to take her tablets though. I do feel mom lost her voice when my aunt stepped in because she felt mom should make no decisions for herself—even though mom was very capable of making them. When mom spoke, we no longer heard her but my aunt instead. It was like brainwashing!

    I even tried to get my uncle to speak with my aunt but he said no one can come between them. That wasn’t what I was trying to do. Mom is getting weaker and weaker now. I know we are losing her. We have her at home, though, because she is still strong enough to be here. I need to know what we can do now apart from just “being there” for my mom.  People are giving us advice, telling us what to do, and to be honest they don’t know what we have done and should not be telling us how to behave.

    I feel some of her friends are not dealing, and we end up walking on egg shells around them to protect them. How do we get through the coming days, weeks, or months—and after, whatever it may be. I feel we are dealing quite well under the circumstances, which in a way worries me—are we in for a big fall?  I feel we are doing all we can for mom to help her and yet give her some control and dignity.  Is there anything more we can do? Which of your books would you suggest we read? Please, can you help?  Thank you.

    Bernie’s Answer

    First of all, just listen and don’t tell people what to do.  When you allow your mom to talk about her feelings and thoughts, she can hear herself.  This is the very best way to help her process what she is going through.  You can also use this technique for the friends and other family you mentioned who seem to be unable to fully accept the situation.  Encourage them to just “let it all out” and you will be very happy to simply be a good listener.  The wonderful Helen Keller who was both deaf and blind said that deafness was far darker than blindness.  You said yourself that you resented your aunt telling you what to think so that should motivate you to not do the same thing to your mom or her friends.

    I encourage you to get my latest book, The Art of Healing: Uncovering Your Inner Wisdom and Potential for Self-Healing.  This will be of great help to your mom and to you.  Read it to her if she would like for you to, but do not force her to listen.  Instead, read it yourself and put the ideas in it to good use for yourself.  Encourage any other people (like those you feel you must “walk on egg shells around” to read it, too).

    Tell your aunt to read a new book, published this past April, entitled You Are the Placebo by Dr. Joe Dispenza.  She also should read my book—Love, Medicine and Miracles.

    And yes, just “be there” for them and they will thank you.  When I say to just “be there” for your mom and other family having a hard time going through this, I mean to be a supportive listener, letting them talk and process their feelings and thoughts through being able to hear themselves talk to you.  It is not helpful for you to try and “solve” their problems coping with the situation—but by being an active listener (which means letting them know you are listening by keeping eye contact, leaning forward, and sometimes nodding), you will help them solve their own problems on how to best cope with the situation as they listen to themselves talk.

    Finally, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” Life makes us all “lifelong learners” and that is a very positive part of being alive.

    Peace,

    Bernie

    Question for Bernie

    I couldn’t sleep last night because I was wound up by a telephone conversation I had with my mother.  There was nothing unusual about the content.  I spent the day with her last weekend and she wanted to see me on another day the following week.  I didn’t see her because I had other things to do, and so she phoned and gave me an ‘earful’ about how disrespectful I was and that she would never treat anyone like I do.

    Anyway, as I was lying in bed feeling frustrated and angry, and feeling sorry for myself now, and remembering the same feeling as a child, the three words ‘LOVE, SUPPORT and ENCOURAGEMENT’ kept coming into my mind. I thought to myself, “Isn’t that the answer to most things—those three little words?  They sound so simple but mean so much, and I wrote them down in the dark on the front of my notebook so I would find them again in the morning.

    Thanks, Bernie.

    Bernie’s Answer

    You did what I have being advising people to do for many years—you listened to your heart and followed it with the strength to say “no” to another person so you could fulfill your needs, too. It is a special challenge to do that when the other person is your mother who doesn’t respect the boundaries of their “adult child.”

    The most effective way to let her verbal abuse bounce off of you and finally end is to become what I call a love warrior. In that role, when your mom drives you nuts, just listen and then say, “I love you.”  Stop with just that short, sweet phrase.  Do not start making excuses or explaining yourself.  Whatever she says in response, don’t take the bait.  Just let her finish and repeat, “I love you.  I’ll talk to you later, Mom.”  It might take several weeks, but eventually she’ll get the message that you are a grown-up and intend to have your own boundaries, just as she has hers.

    Someday you will have a wonderful, positive conversation with her in which you can both agree that each of you deserve to run your own lives and not take orders anymore from each other or anybody else.  Then you can celebrate the joys of being free, loving adults who don’t make demands on each other, but will always love one another and can now truly enjoy your times together.

    Peace,

    Bernie

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    Q & A with Bernie – June 2, 2014

    Question for Bernie

    On May 3, 2013, I had extensive surgery for ovarian cancer; then I had five months of chemo.  I had a clean scan in October.  On April 2, it was discovered through mammography that I had breast cancer which was not going to kill me.  I had a lumpectomy and have started radiation.

    I had an unscheduled scan last week and the doctor saw a mass in my abdomen. She said it was plum sized and on the ventricle cuff of the vagina; it looks encapsulated.  I reminded her that she said the same thing the last time, and she did not answer that.  I will have surgery on June 6, followed by radiation.  That’s the plan.  I’m scared and wondering if I have only a few months to live.  All my affairs are in order.  I don’t know how to get through whatever life I have left now.

    Bernie’s Answer

    None of us knows how much conscious time we have left.  The important part is to find what does make you happy and do it so your body gets the message that you intend to LIVE.

    Work on establishing relationships with all living things.  Visualize what you desire your life to be and you will create it; have faith and believe.

    Feel free to share anything else you want to with me.  I know “it ain’t easy” but the potential always exists.

    Peace,

    Bernie

    Question for Bernie

    Thanks for responding so quickly.  I guess I wanted your opinion as a doctor about my chances.  I have a 94 year old father who needs me and so I cannot die.  No one likes him and no one will tend to him.

    I have a husband and a cat who are pretty much always around me.  My daughters keep in touch.  I read obsessively as it is my favorite “get away.”  I want to travel and am mad because my niece is visiting from Georgia for only three days when I will be having surgery.  I was also supposed to run my father’s birthday next weekend and have had to put that in my kids’ hands.  I have always had a problem with depression, but THIS time it’s based on reality, I think.  I mean, three cancer operations in a year, blah, blah, blah. I think my doctor was trying to give me hope, and I looked at the dark side instead.

    Bernie’s Answer

    I want you to live for you and not your father.  Let me ask you this—when he dies does that make it okay for you to die?

    Be your own child and care for and about yourself.  Depression, like hunger, signals that you need to nourish your life.  Seek those things that lift you up and show you that you deserve to live and to be happy.  Remember, charcoal becomes a diamond under pressure.  I interpret that as saying that one can turn “pressure” into a positive if it motivates you to seek out the nourishment you need for your body, mind, and spirit.

    If you always choose to look at the dark side, you will live it.  It is your choice—no one else’s.  You can also choose to turn around and face the sun, and when you do that, all shadows and dark sides are behind you.

    Peace,

    Bernie

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    Q & A with Bernie – May 26, 2014

    HEALING WISDOM – These wonderful, loving therapy dogs protect the immune system of our Vets and are always there to serve for a scratch under the chin or a kiss on the nose.  On this Memorial Day Weekend, let us all find a way to extend a healing paw as a symbol of what America has always meant to people who want to live in Freedom.


    Question for Bernie

    I’m a fan of your approach and way of looking at the illness process.

    I’m a “healthy” guy, with a healthy life style, no smoking, no alcohol, no meat, just healthy foods.  Even so, I have just been diagnosed myeloma.

    These last years have been really tough on me, professionally and personally. About one year ago the relationship I had for six years, that was really damaging throughout the whole process, ended, and despite the fact that it was me putting an end to it, I confess that it has been difficult and that I miss that girl a lot.

    Professionally, the company that I’m running is going through struggles that I didn’t imagine due to the economy and probably some mistakes I made myself. This has also been very tough to cope with.

    They want me to go through chemotherapy for the melanoma, but I don’t really fancy the idea. What can you say about this?

    Thanks a lot for your time and feedback.

    Bernie’s Answer

    The first thing I can tell you is that you need to work on your life and feelings.  You must create a life you can love.  You have been doing good things for your body already, but you need to do more so that your body gets the message that you want to LIVE!  All of the stress in your personal and professional lives was using up your immune system, and when our immune systems get very low, we get sick.

    Read my books and learn.  The books I wrote that would be especially good to start with are Love, Medicine & Miracles and my newest book,   The Art of Healing: Uncovering Your Inner Wisdom and Potential for Self-Healing.

    The treatment you get for the myeloma is your choice, and if you visualize chemotherapy as the right thing to do, and that you will get through it without side effects, you can handle it easily.  I urge you to not listen to the experiences of others who tell you negative things either about treatment or anything else.  Surround yourself with positive people who also give your body the message that you want to LIVE!

    Also, you also need a caring and understanding doctor to treat you for the melanoma.  Make sure he or she is positive, caring, and answers all of your questions.  Again, if such a doctor oversees your treatment, you will get through it easily.

    Draw a picture of yourself getting the chemotherapy treatment and send it to me so we can look at it together.  I will help you keep visualizing a positive outcome.

    Whether you take the chemotherapy treatments or not, you can do holistic things too, like taking certain vitamins and supplements.  It is your life, so begin right now visualizing getting completely well again, and then it is very important to fix the loneliness in your life.  As you surround yourself, starting now, with positive people, you will have a much better chance of finding that certain person who will end your loneliness. You deserve the best, and don’t settle for less just to have someone around.  You will find genuine love if you love yourself enough to accept only the best.

    Peace,

    Bernie

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