Question for Bernie:
I have dealt with agoraphobia for years. I was in remission, but several years ago it came back. I grew up with a mother who had many health issues and was in constant fear of dying. Now I find myself fearing a myriad of issues, and I suspect it is the result of hearing my mother’s constant concerns all the while I was growing up.
When I was, 32, after I had my daughter, the doctors thought I had lung cancer. At that same time, my neighbor’s son was dying of bone cancer after being in remission for seven years. In spite of dealing with her own son’s disease, this caring neighbor took the time to tell me about your first book, Love, Medicine, and Miracles, that our neighbor across the street recommended to her son to read and use.
When she told me of your book, she described how you wrote about beating the cancer out of someone with “Pac Men” via the imagination. I visualized this and, thank God, when I went for my repeat x-rays (because they thought it could be lung changes due to having a baby, and I had pneumonia symptoms too) it was gone, just gone. It took my doctor half-an-hour before he came and told me because he was running all over his office shouting the joyous news to everyone else!
I read more of your books after that! I thank God for you. I tell everyone I meet as well as people I have known for some time to read your books. I believe in God and healing. If we can heal from the common cold, why not cancer–that’s not too big for God!
So my question is this: If I can believe in healing, and actually have come through a successful healing journey, why do I have fears about going into elevators alone, or of being in the hospital, or of being sick – why? And by the way, I am taking Xanax to help with all of my anxiety.
I do want to be truly whole, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. Thank you for loving us strangers and know we love you back!!!
Your mother hypnotized you. Most people probably don’t know that from birth up to the age of 6 years old, a child’s brain is “hypnotized” by what the child hears. It’s rough going to get beyond that trance state if it has been a destructive one like yours.
The way to begin is by actively and with full intention of leaving those “old tapes” behind, rehearsing being the person you want to be and each day ACT like you are not afraid.
From reading my books, I’m sure you know that I am a firm believer in the healing power of humor, so take some time each day to think about something that made you laugh out loud at some time in the recent or distant past—you will find yourself laughing again. When we are laughing, we cannot be afraid—laughter completely relaxes us, even if for just a brief time.
As a little child, you had no control over the hypnotic trance that your mother’s daily words put you in, but now you are grown, a mother yourself, so you DO have control. Take it—it is your right. I’m reminded of the cure for agoraphobia that someone once told me about which goes like this: When she learned that she had only two months to live, suddenly she saw the light and asked herself, “What the hell is the point of being afraid?” So, this patient went from fear of going out in the rain to white water rafting!
All any of us really have is today, so make the most of it without the burden of fear—that was your mother’s burden. You can be completely free of that now.
Question for Bernie:
Hello, Bernie. I am so happy that you are so accessible, as there is no one in the medical profession with your attitude in my area!
I have a difficult situation that I don’t understand. I have been diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. I am taking Iscador, DIM, and alpha lipoic acid. I have cut sugar from my diet, am exercising, doing yoga, meditation, and reiki.
But, I cannot quit smoking. I feel quite ashamed of this, and do not understand why I can’t/don’t. Do I wish to die? I don’t feel like I do. I am in a happy place in my life, I think. My first cancer 8 years ago caused me to change my life, and I now have work that I love.
Do you have any suggestions?
Thank you so much.
Yes, I do have some suggestions for you. Get your baby pictures out and love that kid! This is about growing up feeling unloved by your parents. But you can rewrite that history by lovingly parenting yourself now.
You have come a long way in showing love to yourself, but it is time to complete that journey. It’s wonderful that you love your work now, but be sure you also love your friends, family, and all other aspects of your life.
Bring something or someone into your life who can be your focus—if you don’t already have a beloved pet and it is something you can comfortably include in your home, you will be the recipient of unconditional love. You have the power to give up smoking, but like all of us when facing a difficult hurdle, you must reach out for support. Sometimes a loving pet can be the nonjudgmental support that helps you clear that hurdle.
Fill your life with positive relationships and eliminate the negative ones. Tell yourself that you are only allowing love in because it represents strength.
And if you need a new father, I will be your CD=chosen dad.