Question for Bernie
At 62, I’m still smoking cigarettes. Can you suggest any alternative therapy for this?
When you love yourself you’ll stop seeking good feelings via addictions.
It is about your lack of love as a child, so abandon the past, and love your inner child. Reward yourself with healthy behavior. It brings with it great feelings—energy, a desire to enjoy nature, and a sense that it feels good to slow down and get the most out of every day.
Learn to meditate. Contrary to what some people may think, it does not have to be a big time commitment. See if there are any classes in your area that teach mindfulness meditation. You learn how to change your thinking quickly from negative to at least neutral, so it is a very practical and portable skill. You also learn to appreciate yourself and everyone and everything around you in a calm, non-judgmental way.
You CAN do it, and most of all, please recognize very clearly that you DESERVE to be healthy and living life to the fullest.
Question for Bernie
I am 43 years old, very overweight, and very ill with several serious disorders including lupus that has attacked my liver and spleen; diabetes; fibromyalgia; blood clots; osteoporosis; rheumatoid arthritis causing painful fingers, ankles, knees and shoulders; headaches; and scoliosis. I feel trapped in this shell of a body, and I wish to be free to dance and run and play again. I imagine getting rid of this wheelchair because I won’t need it anymore if I can find the right “program” of meditation and other kinds of tools that will help me. I am not giving up, and I intend to make it through these obstacles.
I believe most of these disabling disorders would go away if I could put together a program of tools like CDs and books to use from your amazing work that would change my life. I would choose to continue this plan until I succeeded. With your help, I know I can do it. I wish I could afford your books or meditations, but being so ill, the bills are horrendous. Do you have a program to donate to people like myself? Please give me a chance. Thank you.
First of all, abandon the wounds and negative messages of your childhood. Given your present condition as you describe it, there is significant work you can do on your own by getting a very inexpensive spiral notebook at the drugstore and starting to write down some of the negative messages you got from parents, teachers, and other people who influenced your childhood.
After you write some of these messages down, look at words you recalled that were said to you when you were just a child. For example, if you were continually told during your childhood that “you are always sick with something” and that “you cause everyone problems and cost a lot of money with your illnesses” stop and recognize how you have brought very negative messages like those with you into adulthood, and that they have damaged you significantly. Whatever specific messages you recall and write down, notice how negative words or concepts told to you by the people who were most important to you then—usually our parents—have carried over into your adult life. These are the messages you must concentrate on now, and eliminate any and all of the same negative words and judgments you heard in your childhood when they come up today in your “self-talk” as an adult. Ask a friend you trust to help you catch these very damaging, totally incorrect characterizations of you—give them a list of words and phrases you have been using that they can help you trap and eliminate in your conversations.
Next, find a constructive way to express your anger so it does not reside within and attack you. Check in your area for a therapist who specializes in helping people with financial challenges to get therapy for anger. People like you who live with a large number of physical manifestations from unexpressed anger, and the depression that goes with that suppression, need to have an advocate—a therapist who understands the vicious circle of needing help yet being denied getting it because of financial barriers. There are local, state, and federal government programs you could look into. Local and state government programs differ from state-to-state, but federal programs are consistent. Go to your library and ask a librarian to help you find the resources you need to contact those programs.
Next, visualize what you desire. Determine to start acting as though you have attained the level of wellness that comes with perfect balance in Mind-Body-Spirit. Visualize acting as though you have succeeded in regaining full health and happiness, then take your visualization to the next level by actually behaving as though you’ve reached that goal. When you do this, the reaction you get from people is nearly 100% positive and really nourishes you.
When you arrive at this point, you are showing that you love yourself and your body. Your body is finally receiving the strong, positive message of, “I WANT TO LIVE!” From the time you start visualization, your immune system will begin to get stronger, and you will find that you believe in your own power to change how your body reacts to life. From that point on, your body will heal.
You don’t need my books and tapes to reach your goal, but I will see if I can help you.
Get in touch with Wisdom of the Ages by phone at 860.651.1172 EDT in CT. I will copy them on this message.