Question for Bernie
I am reading the book you recommended, The Energy Cure by William Bengston. It’s impressive. I just read the page on which the author describes that someone wrote “Bullshit” on a study you had posted about the power of prayer. And, so that negative attitude helps exactly how, I wonder?
I have read materials like that most of my adult life. I used to read the New England Journal of Medicine regularly. I used to borrow books on medicine and psychoneuroimmunology through inter-library loans from all over the country, etc., seeking answers that have helped me, but which I have not been able to develop into helping others.
I have an unrelated question: My oncologist told me I have to take prednisone (four/day) the day before, the day of, and three days after my chemotherapy. Since prednisone makes my body swell uncomfortably and makes me lose most of my voice, I asked him why I have to take it. His response was “because it helps.” So, I am asking you, and I won’t quote you to him, of course – exactly how does prednisone help? Can I replace whatever prednisone is supposed to do with guided imagery?
Prednisone reduces inflammation and symptoms. Picture yourself taking it and getting the help it is giving you by reducing inflamed tissue and the symptoms of chemotherapy.
I also recommend that you cut calories way down three days before, on the day of, and again one day after getting chemo.
If your doctor will write a prescription for metformin, it can help by interfering with cancer cells using sugar for nourishment; the herb curcumin also helps reduce inflammation as well as having anticancer properties.
Question for Bernie
I am undergoing chemotherapy right now. I have your new book, The Art of Healing: Uncovering Your Inner Wisdom and Potential for Self-Healing, with me. Also, I have taped on the wall a sheet with photos of you, my grandfather, Jesus Christ, and a torso, which is a symbolic religious representation of my torso. I also have your message to me about visualizing that the chemicals are staying within my torso and not getting into my head. In addition to all of those things, I have included on the sheet messages from friends who are saying supportive things to help me use positive mental imagery.
The cancer invaded my L3 and is mainly in my midsection. It is Large B-cell non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. You already told me that, “You are a survivor, my dear.” I absolutely believe I will get over this and return to a normal life. Treatments last through mid-August. The fact that I can’t swim, bicycle, or do my normal exercising is having an adverse effect on my muscles.
I am telling a lot of people about your books and your research. I am so thankful to have your e-mails and have you as my Life Coach. God bless you!
Keep picturing doing all those things, and have friends and family visualize you doing the exercises you enjoy. You and your friends and family can learn how to send energy by reading The Energy Cure by William Bengston.
Question for Bernie
My Mom has secondary cancers with an undiagnosed primary. Her last scan showed a significant decrease in the tumors. However the last few weeks have been difficult for her. She has always been an independent person and likes to control things. She has always been the control center of the family even though we are all adults.
My dad cannot do anything right for her, which means my sister and I are worn out by her needs to the degree that we have become sick and suffering from exhaustion ourselves.
Mom is in the hospital and does not want to come home, it appears. I think she feels safe there. She is not really eating and has dry heaves. We are at our wits end with her. I feel that she needs to change her mind set, but she is stubborn and plays the guilt card a lot on us.
Can you help? I would appreciate it if you could help us as we love her very much. We want her around for as long as possible, but I just feel she is giving up.
You must accept that it is your mother’s life and her choice. The best thing you can do to help her is to listen to her without telling her what to do—or what you want her to do.
When friends and family learn how to actively listen to their loved one who is sick, it helps the person who is ill hear themselves. Often when they hear what they are saying, they decide to change their minds. But if others are always interrupting and telling the person who is ill what to think and what to do, the ill person just wants to escape being “talked at.”
If you let your mother talk and just quietly listen, she will realize what the right thing is to do. You can offer her my books, but she needs to want to read them. Again, don’t tell her what to do.
By learning how to listen actively, which just means looking at her with interest when she talks, she will know that you are really listening to her. Don’t busy yourself with other things—just sit in a chair at her bedside and tell her you are there to listen if she wants to talk. If she doesn’t want to talk, just hold her hand or massage her hand, keeping everything very quiet and comfortable. Don’t try to fill the air by talking if your mother doesn’t want to talk. Just keep quiet and be loving.
What she needs now is your unconditional love. Love is what survives, so give her your love knowing that her love will always be with you. Also, if you care for her in this way I’ve described, you will not have any guilt. You will know that you let her do things her way, that you listened to her and she knew you were listening to her, and most of all, that you loved her very much. However long she is with you, all of these feelings are positive for everyone. Keep love at the top of your list every day.
Start taking better care of yourself. Get restful sleep. You will not have any guilt if you remember that it is not your responsibility to decide anything for your mother, and that it is out of your love for her and respect for her dignity that you let her make her own choices. Visualize feeling very good that you let your mother keep control over her own life, and that you listen to her without interrupting or trying to change her mind. It is her mind to change or not change, so feel happy that you give her the respect and dignity she deserves. You can now fill the space left by having that heavy load taken off your shoulders with the lightness and beauty of love that nourishes you and your mother.
One great lesson you are learning will help as you grow older. The lesson is how important it is to tell the people who love you what you have decided you need, and that you will make your own choices. Free your friends and family from feeling like they must make choices that are really yours to make, so there is time to let them just love you, and for you to just love them.