The Color Orange

Dear Everybody,

Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as you ever can.
~ John Wesley

This quote by John Wesley touched my heart.  If everyone lived that message what a world this would be. When you think about living following his advice, you don’t need religions or a God or beliefs because you are living the message they all are based on.  You wouldn’t be pointing out any differences between us which cause conflict and separation. My surgical experience revealed clearly to me that we are all the same color inside and made of the same thing.

The reason John Wesley’s words had an impact upon me is because of a personal event which happened the same day I came across this quote. A family member, with family, physical and emotional difficulties, who I try to help by helping her as a doctor with medical help and also as a source of love and finances, said over the phone, “You are the only person who has ever helped me without my asking.” That really hit home and I felt rewarded by her statement. I think her story and that of others who have been helped without asking would make an interesting book. Think about people in your life who have made a difference and never asked for anything in return. Besides writing your story, thank them by sending them a copy of it and what their actions meant and did for you.

I can think of other people I have helped who really have become part of my family, and for me when you are family, the relationship is not about who did what for whom or who owes you something, but about caring and the gift which comes from knowing you have done something to help someone else. Come to think of it, the quote sounds like the Bible’s message to love your neighbor as yourself and do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

One of my return gifts was from a nursing student who, after hearing me speak the message, called me and asked me to help her by paying her tuition in nursing school. She said, “You tell people that they can say no to what you do not want to do, so I am not afraid to ask you.” Well I admired her conviction and courage and said yes. A year or more later she called me to say she graduated and had a job and could pay me back OR we could use the money to start a scholarship for other students. You know damn well what I was thrilled to do! It’s the message of the quote I started with. And I like to try to live the sermon and the result then is repayment with interest.

Again the message of life is that we are here to live and love; the purpose of life is to give us the opportunities to display our love. How you do it is your choice, but the end result should be the same for us all—to be remembered for our love and the kindness we displayed.

The hard part is that if you don’t grow up being treated in this way and feeling loved, then the likelihood of your doing something for someone else is close to zero. There ain’t no God when you grow up with the opposite of love; indifference, rejection, and abuse. You read the same newspaper headlines I do and the people you read about, from police to mass murderers, have no reverence for life because no one ever displayed a reverence for their life. Thus they are more interested in revenge then they are in helping others.

You all have the potential to change the world by reparenting people and helping them to feel loved and build self-worth and self-esteem. It is easier if you are a teacher, doctor, or a member of the clergy because you are working with and for people. I was enlightened by many self-destructive patients who, because of my concern for them, began to realize they were worth something.  At that point, they then started caring for themselves. For me it was summed up in the statement of a suicidal teenager I was working with, “You are my CD.” I asked her what did she mean by telling me that I was her CD?  She touched my heart with her answer—“You are my Chosen Dad.”

So get out there and help all the people you can, as long as you ever can, by becoming their CD or CM.

Peace, Love & Healing,
Bernie

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  4. Q & A with Bernie – July 28, 2014
  5. Can You Ask for Help? Your Image in the Eyes of Others and Yourself
This entry was posted in Mind / Body Medicine, Parenting & Family, Relationships, Spirituality and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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