Q & A with Bernie – August 22, 2016

Question for Bernie:

I heard a tape of yours years ago, I think from an interview by Tony Robbins.  You said everyone gets sick eventually, so why wait until that happens, do it now. I’m 57 and healthy, yet I don’t really know what I want to do, any suggestions on who to speak with to find out a path to take?

Bernie’s Answer:

I said everyone dies, so don’t try not to die.  Instead, try to enjoy life by letting your heart make up your mind.

Stop thinking and doing, and start feeling and caring.  Find your “chocolate ice cream.”

If you can love and take care of one, get a pet and do something real for another loving, living being.  Find an organization you support and be a volunteer.

Focus on giving and you will enjoy the best of life.

Peace, Love, & Healing,
Bernie

Question for Bernie:

I have had vitiligo since the age of 10 and practically all my life (I’m 31 now). I’ve been trying to find a way to heal my skin. I have changed my diet and am learning about integrative nutrition because I do believe that food is healing. However, I think for me particularly, my condition is not very much related to my food since I cannot see any difference regarding my vitiligo.

I would love to have your input regarding this, and if you could help advise me, it would be really great—sending you much love, and my best.

Bernie’s Answer:

I have very little experience with vitiligo. Ask yourself what negative words express (or describe) how you feel living with vitiligo.  Then, think about what else in your life fits those words, too, and then eliminate those situations, people, or other stressors from your life.

Look in the mirror many times each day.  As you do, tell your body that you love it.  Your body will respond to your loving care and attention.

Use healthy supplements with diet to be sure your body is not lacking anything. Highest Quality Vitamins And Supplements – Life Extension is a good resource.

Read the article below and remember—when you give love, you are beautiful!

Mind & Heart Matters – “I Hate You”

by Bernie Siegel, MD

Dear Everybody,

Many years ago, while still practicing surgery, I was paged to the ER where I met and examined a young woman who everyone thought had appendicitis. However, I did not and so observed her rather than rush her to the OR, which everyone wanted me to do. Lo and behold, she recovered and was diagnosed as having a ruptured ovarian cyst. A year or so after that event, her younger sister, right before the Christmas Holidays, stumbled and fell into their fireplace. She put her hands and arms out to stop the fall and suffered severe burns on her hands, forearms, and neck. Because of my experience with her older sister, the family called me to come to the ER to see her.

I admitted her to the hospital and every day visited her to care for her burn wounds. She was also a musician, and having her hands and fingers affected was a real blow to her life. There was no way I could stop all the pain she experienced when I was cleansing and debriding her wounds. I tried my best to distract her with my crazy childlike behavior, but nothing worked. She began yelling at me every day, “I hate you! I hate you!” I would leave her room thinking that this is not what I had hoped to experience as a physician. I wanted to help people and fix things—not be the object of hatred. Her mother told me that she observed me saying to her daughter, “maybe someday you will love me.” I do not remember saying that, but I know from my behavior, it sounds like something I would do.

After she left the hospital I continued to see her in my office. One summer day when the temperature was in the nineties, Madeline showed up in my office wearing a turtle neck sweater with long sleeves. I asked her what she was doing wearing a sweater on a day like this. She said she felt ugly and scarred and was trying to hide her scars and ugliness from everyone. I tried to get the point across to her that she was not ugly, and that her scars were not what she and her life were now about. She didn’t agree with what I said. She told me that she was looking for a job the following summer and wondered if I could help her find something or knew of something she could apply for. An idea immediately came to my mind. I knew a local nursing home that needed some aides, so I called them to tell them Madeline’s story—and ask them to hire her even though she had no training. They agreed.

The reason I hoped this would happen is that I knew their aides had to wear a specific uniform to identify them and it would reveal Madeline’s scars due to their short sleeves and open neck. I did not tell Madeline about that—just that I had found her a job. She was so happy to have a job that she didn’t ask me any questions. She had matured, and didn’t hate me anymore.

A month later, in came Madeline for her routine follow up visit. After going over things, I asked her how her summer job was going. She said, “No one even noticed or asked about my scars.” I said, “Madeline when you are giving love you are beautiful.” The experience and my words did change her feelings about herself, and her life improved from that time on. With time, Madeline did not need more surgical care, so our relationship ended for several years until the evening I received this phone call from Madeline.

“Doctor Siegel, my father died a year ago and I am getting married this summer. I was wondering if you would be my father at my wedding.”

“Yes, Madeline. I would be honored to be your father.”

Wow what a gift that was for my heart and how her request healed our past and said I love you to me. That summer I walked down the aisle with Madeline and after the ceremony we danced together to a song she selected by Kenny Rogers. The lyrics say it all: “Through the years you never let me down. You turned my life around.” Yes, I felt one of the most meaningful moments in my life.

And Madeline became a nurse to continue loving and caring for the world. So go out and make a difference for yourself and others by being a love warrior.

Peace, Love & Healing,
Bernie

Response to Bernie’s Answer:

Thanks Bernie. I’m so grateful for you getting back to me.

I actually see myself as being unique and different from other people, although sometimes it makes me feel limited, for instance, I cannot wear clothes that I would love to wear because I don’t want my skin to be exposed or for people to stare.

Thanks again.

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Related posts:

  1. Q & A with Bernie – August 8, 2016
  2. Q & A with Bernie – August 1, 2016
  3. Q & A with Bernie – August 15, 2016
  4. Q & A with Bernie – July 11, 2016
  5. Q & A with Bernie – March 21, 2016
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