To love one’s self is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
~ Oscar Wilde
Good morning, Lovely You!
I mentioned last week that I have recently had work done in my house. I finally built my upstairs sanctuary. It is a project I have been dreaming about for years and now I finally get to live inside my dream. It is an amazing feeling.
I bring up this remodeling project because I was reminded of something very important during the build. You see, even though I was constructing something upstairs in my attic space, what determined what we could and couldn’t do upstairs was how well the foundation had been built downstairs.
To me, this is so incredibly symbolic of how we build the relationships in our lives. Unless the relationship you have with yourself is strong, your other relationships may crumble.
The reality is, how you treat yourself is how you will treat others. Looking at it this way, the most selfless thing you can do is be self-centered. Which, by the way, has NOTHING to do with being selfish!
Only until you can truly love yourself can you truly love others.
What Does Self-Love Really Mean?
If you were to do a search for self-love, chances are Google would return a bunch of articles that include self-care tips. While many of the suggestions, such as taking a hot bath, getting a massage, or relaxing with your favorite tea and music mean well, self-love goes far beyond pampering yourself every once in a while.
So then what is self-love really about?
Loving yourself is about showing yourself true kindness, respect and compassion. Imagine how you would treat a small child in need or a stray dog who came to you for help. Most people would instantly melt and treat these beings with great care, love and gentleness.
But how do you treat yourself when you are in need? Do you chastise yourself for even having needs? Do you constantly put everyone else’s needs first and neglect your own?
How do you talk to yourself on a daily basis? Do you give yourself praise for your accomplishments? Or do you only pay attention to your mistakes and shortcomings?
Are you constantly comparing yourself to others and, on most occasions (if not all), finding that you just don’t measure up?
At the end of the day, self-love is about loving ALL of you, even the darkest, ugliest parts that only YOU know exist. It’s not about thinking you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread; it’s recognizing that you aren’t and being 100% okay with that.
Why is Self Love the Most Important Love There Is?
Simply put, how you view yourself is how you view your external world. People who think poorly of themselves often judge others harshly.
Also, we are responsible for teaching others how we should be treated. If you want to surround yourself with people who treat you with kindness, compassion and respect, then you’ll need to know you are worthy of kindness, compassion and respect.
I think so much of the cruelty, greed and corruption in this world stems from the fact that most human beings have a very low self-worth. We are all born as perfect, beautiful creatures, but then the world gets to us and we become corrupt and forget that we have been created in the image of the creator, who is PURE love and ONLY love.
Steps to Building a Loving Relationship with Yourself
As we approach Valentine’s Day and take the time to celebrate the love we feel for others, I invite you to begin the journey toward loving yourself more.