This is a guest post by Prudence Sinclair.
Good morning, lovely you!
I sadly spent a good portion of my life in incredibly toxic relationships. How toxic? Restraining order toxic!! I won’t go into all of the details here, though I have shared much of my past and the “colorful” relationships I have been in other blog posts.
But through a lot of inner work and self-growth, I have healed my trauma and the mental patterns that got me into bad relationships in the first place. It was a hard road to travel, but now I get to experience the joys and blessings of a healthy loving relationship.
And I have learned over the years there is a great, great difference between toxic relationships and healthy ones.
If you are in a relationship right now and wondering if it’s healthy or not, here are some signs that it is:
1. You Feel Free to Speak Your Mind
A relationship can only thrive when both people feel they can communicate freely with one another. What does this mean? It means no topics should be off-limits. It means you both feel heard. And it means you never feel uneasy or anxious when approaching your partner with something to discuss.
2. You are Free to Do Your Own Thing
You can be head over heels in love with someone and still want your own time, space and friends. I love Dave and he loves me, but we don’t feel the need to spend every second together. It’s important for us to remain individuals with our own interests, hobbies and friendships. We both still need to grow as people so that we can grow as a couple.
3. When You Fight, You Fight Fairly and Honestly
Disagreements are perfectly normal in every relationship. If you never argue, chances are you’re not truly opening up and sharing your feelings with one another. When you are in a healthy relationship, these arguments are had fairly, and they turn out to be productive. No one uses name-calling or put-downs. You both strive to understand where the other one is coming from. And when one or both of you realizes you have been wrong, you apologize.
4. You Make Decisions Together
A healthy relationship means an equal one, and that means that one of you isn’t the one always calling the shots. Whether it’s what you’re having for dinner, what extra-curricular activities your child will partake in or what home improvement project to begin first, you both listen to what the other has to say and make the decisions jointly.