Question for Bernie:
I’ll be sending you drawings & an update note soon (will include notes to tell you what’s happened overall with my cancer dx and health as you requested).
They do tumor markers next Tuesday; I think that is the 9th. I have the PET scan at the end of November; my oncologist pushed it back again.
She says even if the scan is clear there can be cancer in my body, so I need to get back to doing your visualization. I’ve told them I will beat the cancer and they seem very determined to tell me I’m going to have it, to “live with cancer” even though my tumor markers have gone from 149 to 67 from the summer to now, 5 months of medicine.
I know I can’t expect them to be crunchy granola types. They are very helpful and do a lot for me. I’m trying not to take it personally—their approach is to continue to tell me that the cancer will be in my body. I am NOT going to spend my time trying to get them to drink my Kool-Aid, and I respect their hard work, I know they see so much serious stuff that I could never handle.
I started to do a sketch for you, preparing to draw it in crayons; it gave me a lot of hope. I drew a tiny person (me) held up by a person’s 2 fingers and being looked at through a big magnifying glass and a rainbow coming through the other side. The PET scan opening is ROUND – so I think that is what I was drawing and “the team” examining the results closing, but good results coming back. Five big people overall were surrounding the tiny me. That sketch gave me a lot of hope – I have a feeling the scans will come back very clear or 100% clear.
I’ll do the drawings and send them to you. I’ve found your insights very eye opening.
I know you talk to so many people. I’ll share this one thing and then sign off the e-mail. My oncologist told me to get rid of my vitamins because I couldn’t take them with Stage 4 cancer. My intuition told me to hold on to 1 bottle, that I would be taking them. I couldn’t resist looking at the bottle – they expire at the end of THIS month – November 2021! Originally I thought the PET scan would be done in October and they pushed it back. Now I’m wondering if this is a sign the cancer will be “gone” by the end of November – I guess we will just have to see.
Love you Bonus Dad!
Doctors treat the diagnosis and not the patient’s experience or story—until they or their family get sick.
A cancer doc apologized to me in a book entitled HEALING LESSONS because of how much help I was when his wife developed cancer, which changed what he thought of me.
Tell them to stop saying negative things—yes, there are statistics but they don’t apply to individuals. And tell them that what they call a spontaneous remission is really self-induced healing.
~ Bernie, your Bonus Dad