WHAT IS A MIRACLE? There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
– Albert Einstein
Question for Bernie:
My husband has been diagnosed with primary liver cancer that is also in the inferior vena cava and left adrenal. He is having chemoembolization with Nexavar. Since neither of these treatments is curative, we wonder about the quality of the rest of life.
The quality of the rest of your husband’s life will be what you want it to be–the decisions are yours and his to make. If you both want it to be positive and as full of happy contentment as it can be, then here are some suggestions:
- Get at least one guided imagery CD and use it together. Focus on what he loves about life and do it. Help him love his body—it will respond favorably through the strengthening of his immune system. Tell him not to think of his body or any part of it as “the enemy.” Self-induced healing does occur when your body knows you love it and you love your life.
- Get at least one meditation CD (if neither of you have learned meditation techniques, get a “beginner’s” CD and then move on to a more advanced CD if you wish).
- Learn the art of massage using healing aromas; you can also talk about beautiful visions of life that you both share like the waves on an ocean beach, the towering trees of the forest, etc., while you are massaging neck, shoulders, legs, and feet.
- I believe we sleep to rest and communicate with that part of our brain that is responsible for this intuitive wisdom and our survival behavior so make sure your husband’s sleep (and you own) is restorative—before sleep (nap or before bedtime) have a ritual of saying some affirmations about gratitude and loving your life together as it is; you can also say affirmations that any dreams that come during sleep will be beautiful, positive, and/or answers to your questions and concerns.
- When we get tired of our bodies, we turn the switch off and “fall up.” But for now, you can create a quality of life that is loving, positive, and beautiful.
Most of all, remember that your husband and you are in control of what happens in the quality of your life together from now on—
Please keep in touch with me.
Peace to you both,
Question for Bernie:
I am a 38 year old mother of two young girls whom I adore, and I am dealing with inflammatory breast cancer diagnosed over 16 months ago.
I have had chemo, a mastectomy, and radiation but the cancer is still trapped in the lymphatic vessels in the skin around my surgery scar. I have tried numerous alternative therapies, meditation (including your CD) amongst other things.
I am currently trying to live in the moment and enjoy life day by day, to love myself and to stay authentic, being true to myself instead of trying to please others (something I have always done). My parents love me dearly but have always failed to understand me. I have tried desperately to let go of any resentment which I thought I had.
My issue currently is that my cancer is visible, being red and sore on the surface of my skin. Everyday I see it in the mirror, watching it spread. I am tormented by this and allow depressing thoughts into my mind focusing on what may be happening.
I no longer fear death, however I don’t want to die because of cancer, nor do I believe that someone else can be the mother I want to be to my 5 and 6 year old girls. I feel lost at the moment and although I want to believe the body knows how to heal, I question if my body does because the cancer just won’t give up.
I have read all your questions and answers on your page today and it has really helped. My next step is to get your book, but in the meantime I am tormented by the visible cancer on my skin. I am in excellent health otherwise. I just need to learn to ‘let go’ which somehow seems impossible and I don’t know why. I hope you can help.
You have to believe in your potential—look at what you have already accomplished in your life. You created two wonderful children and shown them how strong their mother is, going on with life through diagnosis and treatment. You’ve also shown them that there is another part of healing—finding your authentic self and the strength that brings with it. Just discovering that it is far more important to listen to your authentic self and do what it (your intuitive self) knows is best rather than trying to please everyone else is a huge victory for you at your young age, and even a bigger victory for your daughters. Their lives stretch before them and if they have already learned that the best way to be a force for good in the world is to first find their true selves, they are many, many miles ahead of most children. You’ve done all that.
Find gratitude—it is there even among the difficulties you have been through. Be grateful for the chance to find your authentic self and exercise the strength within you. Be grateful for the wonderful influence you already have had on your daughters, and what you still have to teach them about their potential.
Love your life and body just as it is. You and your body will get the message. Loving your body—even the scar that seems so threatening now—will strengthen your immune system. Visualize that immune system getting stronger and stronger—achieving complete recovery to its former perfection so that it can protect your body as it is meant to do.
Let your heart make up your mind—find faith in a spirituality that seems right for you. Keep using your meditation CDs—it takes practice to finally get that feeling of letting go into perfect relaxation. This is so important to healing. Make sure you have a place that is completely quiet without any interruptions—perhaps when your girls are at school or otherwise engaged in activities away from home for at least two hours.
Take time for yourself—put yourself first knowing that it is essential to your healing.
Abandon the past and your parenting and re-parent yourself as the person you know you really are—loving, strong, capable, and courageous.
Learn how to have a nice day from observing your kids who know how to “live in the moment.” Stop yourself instantly anytime you find yourself focusing on a frightening future. That is not what you want to create for yourself or your girls.
Finally, keep looking into other therapies. I recommend www.lifeextension.com as a good resource for anti-cancer supplements.
Let me know how you are doing.