Q & A with Bernie – March 25, 2013

Question for Bernie:

I am 53 and have suffered with depression most of my life. I have tried different medications over the past years, but I hate taking pills. I am just so overwhelmed with life. I have seen several counselors but never have gotten long term relief.

Since I have spent so much time in bed being depressed, even if I try and get started doing things around the house, I get overwhelmed.  I get more depressed because there are so many things I am behind on.

So it’s just an ongoing cycle that I can’t break. I do have your tape on Peace, Love and Meditations. I use them when I need to just escape and they really do help me.  I just can’t seem to make that feeling last all day.  I have prayed to God for relief from this.

I’m just so tired of not living.  I go to a job I don’t like just because of insurance and then head home to a house that depresses me……all the time feeling guilty because I have three beautiful granddaughters, two great kids, and a husband who loves me.

What can i do to break this cycle of depression?  Thanks.

Bernie’s Answer:

The best medicine is finding something you love to do which makes you lose track of time like being with your granddaughters.

Remember, you are in charge of your attitude, so you either change it or your life.  Many people don’t like their jobs and they let that influence their personality on the job.  The attitude we project signals people around us to behave as they “read” those signals.  One patient told me that she finally decided to give her two weeks’ notice and quit.  She got up every day of those two weeks feeling miserable except for the last day.  That day she got up happy and went to work happy.  To her surprise, everyone around her seemed to respond to her in a positive, supportive way, and when she experienced her job like that, she decided not to quit!

laughter RxEverybody can think of a few times in their lives when something happened that made them laugh out loud.  Think of a couple of those times in your own life—whether they happened when you were a child or whether they are more recent—and every few hours each day, recall one of those memories and enjoy the healing power of laughter.  Humor interrupts depressive thinking completely.  Find a “Laughter Workshop” in your area.  Give your husband and children a chance to participate with you in the workshop—you will be giving them the gift of  helping you overcome depression.

You can change.



Question for Bernie:

I have read Peace, Love & Healing and am now almost finished Love, Medicine & Miracles and these books have changed my life.  I want to thank you for putting this work into words on paper for everyone to have.  I am a 43 year old single mother of two who has had health issues since the age of seven.  They include Type 1 diabetes, lymphoma in my teens, breast cancer at 36, and now a recurrence with metastases at age 43.

I have read so much and find myself SO confused.  How can I change my way of thinking?  I know what the issues are, or at least I think I do, and I have tried so many different things.  I feel that deep down I don’t deserve to be healthy, but how do I change that?  I recognize the “role” my illnesses have helped me play, but I don’t know how to change this.  I am sending this message to you only because I’ve been looking for a support group like the ones you’ve described, BUT more importantly, I’m hoping for a chance to go and sit in on one that is facilitated by you.  I would, of course, most like an actual appointment.


I DO want to live to 100!!

Thank you.

Bernie’s Answer:

I don’t know how far away you are from me—I live in Connecticut.  Check on my website for upcoming appearances I will be making that you might be able to attend in person.

From reading my books, I’m sure you know that I believe in letting your heart make up your mind—listening to your inner self without censoring what you truly feel.

It is so very important to love your life and body so it is stimulated to heal and gets the message that you have chosen to LIVE.  I can never say these words too often, because as you mention, you struggle with feeling like you don’t deserve to be healthy.  That thought must GO!  Not only do you deserve to be healthy, but you can make that happen by opening up total cooperation between your powerful mind and your body.  Give body loving, positive messages even through illness.  It will respond.

You have to reparent yourself, making sure you get all the love that you didn’t get from your parents.  I will become your chosen dad (CD) and help you to love yourself despite what your parents did in raising you.



1st Response back to Bernie:

Oh, my gosh! I am so glad you responded and so quickly! I sent an e-mail this afternoon to the contact person for the support group you facilitate in Woodbridge. I have not heard back yet. I am seven hours away, and am completely willing to drive it to attend if this is possible.

This is what I am trying to learn to do – love myself. My mother and I never had a loving relationship.  We are close but not loving. Does that make sense? I am presently second guessing every decision I make.  I trust my instinct with my kids, but when it comes to me, I jump from one thing to another and I’m scared.

I will wait to hear from the support group contact, and if I get the “okay” I will be there.

Thank you so much!

Bernie’s Answer:

Here’s a question for you:  What is your favorite animal and why is it your favorite?

2nd Response back to Bernie:

puppiesThat’s easy.  My favorite animal is a dog. I love dogs. I grew up with one who was with me all the time. He was my best friend. When I think of a dog, I think of unconditional love—something I don’t know how to give.

Bernie’s Answer:

It’s time to consider getting a dog, then.  Are your kids old enough to learn about the responsibility of having a loving pet?  It could be great for all three of you.