Question for Bernie:
I know you say that what we draw reveals things about ourselves. I was thinking about that and an image flashed into my mind of me wearing a red skirt and blouse. What does the color red mean?
I have just gotten over ovarian cancer for the second time, but my doctor says the cancer will come back again.
Red is a color associated with emotion in general and often specifically with the emotion of love.
The image of yourself wearing red could be interpreted as an expression of emotion ranging from love to fear.
I am always very unhappy to hear about a doctor like yours who has no idea that his wordswordswords can become swordwordswords with the power to kill or cure.
Get those words of his out of your mind and begin to believe in your potential. You can resolve to outlive him.
Concentrate entirely on learning to love your life and your body—your body will respond and do amazing things for you. Choose to see your image of being dressed in red clothing as indicating that you can love your life and your body, and do just that.
Question for Bernie:
Today we have beautiful blue sky and sunshine in England – well in the southeast anyway. I took a long walk with my daughter over the hills this morning.
I saw my mum yesterday and we shared a meal together. She really hugged me and I knew it was because of the “I love you” telephone conversation. She has never found it easy to show affection or say that she loves anyone. It felt good but part of me is afraid that our relationship will slide back again.
In the past, when I have relaxed and let my mum into my life by telling her things about my life that’s when it all starts going wrong. I feel criticized and guilty for making the wrong decision or making the wrong choices. It all goes around in my head and I begin to feel depressed. So I don’t tell her much, but then she feels like I’m shutting her out.
Mum can be very moody and pessimistic, and I don’t like getting caught up in that as it almost always leads back to the past. It almost feels like I have to take her feelings on myself. I think that’s what I used to do when I was a child and she would come to me upset and crying because of my dad.
I confided in her very few times when I was a teenager and the times I did, she broke my confidence and I stopped trusting her. Our family was close knit and my dad’s alcoholism was something we didn’t talk about out loud because it was too shameful.
So I suppose I’m trying to understand how to have a different relationship with her that isn’t full of fear and mistrust and anger.
Thank you for listening.
Often we are both the problem and the solution. When we truly choose love we will become blind to faults and problems. Resolve to just be present and offer your Mum love. Ignore her criticism that you know comes from within her that she is projecting onto you.
Work on learning to trust yourself. You should be looking within yourself for approval, now to your Mum.
Envision the person you want to be and then behave as if you actually are that person. Very soon you will be able to see that you have become that very person.