The quality of the rest of your life and your partner’s life will be what you want it to be—the decisions are yours and your partner’s to make. If you both agree that you want is “to let the sun shine in” on a shared positive perspective, you will each strengthen your immune systems; when Life’s inevitable pop quizzes come up, you will both be ready to get an “A.”
If you are a married couple, at some point along the way, you will hear everyone from your mother-in-law (usually on the eve of your wedding day), to a therapist who is helping you through Couple’s Therapy sometime later in your marriage, say, “…good marriages take a lot of work.” I prefer to say that “…along the way, spouses have chances to grow even closer as they create positive solutions to the challenges that come to us all.” I don’t want to make being married sound like a 9-to-5 job by describing it as work.
Here are some suggestions for keeping the romance and heartfelt understanding in your marriage instead of likening marriage to the workplace.
- Get at least one guided imagery CD and use it together. Focus on what each of you loves about life—and then do those things.
- Help him love his body—it will respond favorably through the strengthening of his immune system. Tell him not to think of his body or any part of it as “the enemy.” Self-induced healing does occur when your body knows you love it and you love your life.
- Get at least one meditation CD (if neither of you have learned meditation techniques, get a “beginner’s” CD and then move on to a more advanced CD if you wish).
- Learn the art of massage using healing aromas; you can also talk about beautiful visions of life that you both share like the waves on an ocean beach, the towering trees of the forest, etc., while you are massaging neck, shoulders, legs, and feet.
- I believe we sleep to rest and communicate with that part of our brain that is responsible for this intuitive wisdom and our survival behavior so make sure your husband’s sleep (and you own) is restorative—before sleep (nap or before bedtime) have a ritual of saying some affirmations about gratitude and loving your life together as it is; you can also say affirmations that any dreams that come during sleep will be beautiful, positive, and/or answers to your questions and concerns.
- When we get tired of our bodies, we turn the switch off and “fall up.” But for now, you can create a quality of life that is loving, positive, and beautiful.