Q & A with Bernie – March 30, 2015

Question for Bernie

My brother passed last Thursday. He had an incredible will to live, surpassing his doctor’s prediction by 25 years!

Words cannot express my gratitude for your caring support.  Your lectures, books, emails, were a tremendous help during a difficult time.

My brother’s and my incredible history with you~

It was over 10 years ago that I attended your lecture in Naples Florida. Afterwards I came up to talk with you about my brother who had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 15 years previous.  You thanked me for sharing and I recall you saying, “I need to hear stories like this.” So I am once again sharing his story.

At the time of his diagnosis I was reading Love, Medicine, and Miracles. My brother has never been a “take charge” kind of person but we incorporated your concepts into his recovery.  I was amazed at his assertiveness. He received chemo for 2 1/2 years and called me one day and said, “I can’t do this anymore.” I said, “Then stop.”

So here we are over 25 years later with him back in the hospital with a dx of recurrence of his cancer. He weighs 84 lbs.  The doctors are planning to give him “two shots a day.” I am not in agreement with this treatment but not my decision. His quality of life the past two years has been less than ideal.

The doctors told Bob that he is one in twenty million people to survive for over 25 years with his diagnosis.

I am sure the information we gleaned from your book was instrumental in his survival, and I want to thank you for giving us the tools we needed. My brother credits me with his recovery, but I know that God gave me you.

Bernie’s Answer

Thank you.  Your brother had the talent and the will to live, with such loving, strong support from you, his sister.  It makes a difference, to say the least.

His consciousness is still with you, so look for signs of things that had meaning for you both, like the coincidences.  And choose life.


Question for Bernie

I’ve drawn two pictures this morning and thought I’d send them to you.  If you have a chance to take a look, I’d be interested in your thoughts.

If you want any explanation:

Obviously, I’m in the middle, each corner represents an aspect of my life; upper left is my wife and me; below that, me and my kids; upper right is me at work; below right is my mom.

I think the first picture is where I am stuck right now—in fear and unhappiness.  The second is where I want to be???

I’ve had a better last few days on holding off the fear and feeling a little better.  I found an appointment card with my next follow up with the ENT and that upset me… I guess just thinking that I don’t know if I can be healed by then.  The appointment is right before Mother’s Day and I’m thinking of moving it to after because I don’t want bad news before that day.  Is that silly?

Last week I was test driving a car with my two boys.  The salesman told me for some unknown reason that his father died when the salesman was 13.  I immediately asked him if his life was OK.

I came home this past Friday feeling pretty good, and then saw a “feel good” short on the college basketball tournament about a player whose mother recently died of cancer.  So I took that moment to say to the boys, “See, he pressed on even through tragedy and that is what you would have to do if something ever happened to me.” (My Dad used to say things like that to me).

Then today over a cup of coffee, I look on the front page of our local paper and see an article about a musician dying of cancer at hospice.

IS SOMEONE TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?  Or am I just bonkers.  Please tell me I’m bonkers, it’ll feel better.  LOL

Bernie’s Answer

The first drawing depicting you as unhappy will create the life you draw—showing everyone apart and not enjoying life.  You don’t know the future, so enjoy the day.

If you don’t have one, get a pet and learn from it and your kids.  Children and pets live in the moment and they can teach us just how much more joyful life is when we do that same thing—live in the moment.

Years ago, I thought one of our kids had cancer and had little time left. At age seven, he said to me, “Dad, you’re handling this poorly.”  My son is alive today. His tumor was a rare type and not the cancer I assumed from his x-ray.

Does the number 3 mean anything to you?  I notice that you show three marks on your face in this sad drawing.

Picture what you desire and begin to act as though you have it now.  Love your life and body as they are right now.  Being good to your body—nutritionally, with exercise as possible, and with happy relationships, strengthen your immune system and also, most importantly, lets your body know that your message to it is that you intend to LIVE.


Question for Bernie

Well here it is. This drug is an oral medication I will take every day with my Tamoxifen, which I take before bed in the bathroom. So in the drawing I am standing in the bathroom taking it. The T bottle is my Tamoxifen which I feel very good about.

The possible side effects of this new drug include neutropenia, which is very troubling to me since I am a Montessori Pre K-K teacher and so need a healthy immune system. The skeleton is showing that I am concerned what this drug is doing to my bone marrow, and also what it is doing to all of the healthy cells in my body. I care very much about my health and what I put into my body.

Brown hair is coming out in my hands. My hair has finally come back. The last chemo I took after surgery thinned my hair, which my Dr. says this can also do, too. It is depressing to have hair come out in my hands.

The window in the next room is the meditation room with a window to see sunlight, blue sky, and beautiful trees.

If I were to draw a picture of myself NOT taking this medication, it would be outside on my bike with my partner doing our 100 mile Parkinson’s bike ride in the summer. Cancer free, healthy, and strong again.

I am very clear that I do not want to take this medication. But when my Dr. says I recommend this because you are at “high risk” for recurrence, fear takes center stage and I think, “Is the universe giving me this trial because it is going to prevent a recurrence and I should do it?” Of course, there is no guarantee of that, and they don’t seem to be able to give me odds or statistics that can help me make a more informed decision.

I am trying to weigh the cost/benefit and I am back and forth. One decision is based on fear, the other on hope, but I am also a very rational person and hope does not feel like solid ground.

Any help you can offer would be much appreciated, and I would love to come down to CT and talk to you face to face. I realize that may be too much to ask, and I am grateful for whatever help you could give me.

Thank you.

Bernie’s Answer

My first question is what the black dot in your pelvic area where you drew uterus and fallopian tubes represent?

The window with lovely scene is in your future and that is a good sign. The page has time areas in it, too, and your past is very empty.

The six trees may be related to time of treatment or some other meaningful event in your life past or present.

Tamoxifen is given a healthy blue color, but there is no color for new treatment.

Your self-image is black and bones which show a not very nice statement about your self-esteem. I can see through you.

Develop stronger hands with which to get a grip on things and reach out as you did to me.  Do you have ears to listen, or don’t you want to hear what others say?

Develop self-love and self-worth.

The new drug is in a neutral zone right now, and if you want to take it, then accept it free of fear and visualize yourself taking it every day and doing beautifully with no side effects.

Don’t let the word of your doctors hypnotize you in a negative way.  Your body believes what your mind pictures is happening or going to happen.

The medications are darker in color than anything except the window scene. Take care of the lady in the picture and be good to her—love yourself, your life, and your body.  By eliminating negative people and situations from your life, you are giving your Mind-Body-Spirit connection the loud and clear message that you want to LIVE.

Let me know if you have any questions or feedback.