Q & A with Bernie – June 8, 2015

Question for Bernie:

I have an appointment and I welcome prayer support:

“That my doctor will be divinely guided to extract the roots of my lower left molar safely, easily and quickly and that I tolerate the procedure with ease and gratitude.”


Bernie’s Answer:

What you visualize and believe will happen.  Your body experiences what your mind conceives.

You don’t need God unless you are in premature labor and can’t handle what is occurring.  But we have been blessed with a mind over which you have dominion.  When you learn to rely on the power of your mind, and practice giving it positive affirmations with the certain knowledge that it will act upon those affirmations, you will be in the driver’s seat.


Question for Bernie:

Good morning Bernie,

It has been many months since I have written.  I am the teacher who has come to you for friendship and advice in the past.  My mother passed in Germany last March peacefully from her Alzheimer’s disease.

My husband has not had an easy time of it.  During the last several years he has had operations, chemo, immune therapy, and lastly gamma knife treatment. His bladder cancer has metastasized to the brain, liver, lungs, and rectum.  He is in pain most of the time and is on a great deal of pain medication.

When does one really KNOW when to involve hospice?  He is at home and recently it was suggested that hospice home care be involved.  I understand that to mean that once they are involved, you no longer have the option of ever going to a hospital again.  Is it kinder to have only hospice care rather than going to an ER ever again?  I would like to have him get help at home since he does get disoriented with things like getting dressed and clearly making his needs known so they can be met.  Yesterday when the hospice coordinator talked to me, she said we could put him in a hospice facility as early as this week. I am looking for a home health care person.

But how does one know…does God or the person give us a sign that the decision is correct.  We are alone here, and after all this time, you are the only person I feel knows how to think about this problem.  It is not that I feel it is giving up, but more like allowing the ultimate plan to be followed, and yet to make the decision all by oneself is more than difficult.

You have dealt with sickness, cancer, caring for a loved one, and seen people go through this dilemma. What should I focus on, and how do I do the right thing?

Please forgive me for burdening you with this problem and my thoughts about it. You provided the children in my class and me with a philosophy of living, and you seem at peace with health, sickness, and death more than anyone I know.  I ask for your help in this decision.

Love and peace.

Bernie’s Answer:

I will never forget you.  Here are some things to help you as you and your husband make this decision:

Ask him how he would feel in a totally white room with no windows or decorations.  If he says he would like it, he is ready to move on and find peace and rest. If it bores him or he wants to leave, he still has some life energy.

As my dad said, “I need to get out of here,” meaning his body, and he died a few days later when we gathered as a family. He died laughing as my mom told stories of their early dates and meeting, so talk about the good times, and then ask him if he is ready to move on and become perfect again—free of the pain and problems.

Often when people enter hospice care, they actually improve because the stress of treatment and feelings of being a burden to loved ones goes away. Sometimes hospice care leads to “graduations” or “drop outs” by helping people feel better and go on living.  Most importantly, good hospice care brings compassion, and that is what is needed for you both.

If you have any other thoughts or questions, just let me know.