Hello Mr. and Ms. Stubborn –
I often find myself on my own or way too busy with other people. Can we find the perfect balance of needing to be around people and not needing anyone at all?
I am an only child, so I spent many hours on my own as a child. Hence the spiritual friend I discovered and mentioned in previous posts. My childhood friend, Louise, who was my imagery friend.
Who do you need? What do you need? When do you need it?
Sometimes we are lonely and sad and sometimes we feel we have no one around us and we get needy and feel unloved. Did we drive our friends or loved ones away? Why do we do that?
Then there are the stubborn obstinate ones like you and me who dig in so hard we can’t see the wood for the trees. We are the ones that don’t think we need anyone! Can being stubborn help you survive cancer?
I don’t know about you but I think being stubborn is an asset, a good quality to have when we are navigating our cancer journey. I don’t know where I would be without my stubborn ways. I never took NO for an answer. If this is you stick with it for now. A doctor friend of mine told me my determination and come hell or high water attitude is what saved my life!!
When we have healed and can look back on our journey knowing we are surviving this disease we can learn how to let go.
When we have recovered from the pain of the past, and we know how to go within to that knowing trusting part of us and let others in to help us, we can let go.
When you accept that part of you that needs support and help, you can open up to vulnerability. This is when we can start to accept what we have been through and start our new wonderful lives, gently, one day at a time.
When I was struggling with cancer, I found it very difficult to be around people. I felt I needed to shut myself off to find myself. In many ways that were true. I dug in and got to know myself better on my own. I could heal and listen to my spiritual angels and guides without distractions or uncertainty about what I was doing. My friends thought I had lost my mind meditating to Dr. Bernie Siegel’s work and forgiving the past to save my life and I couldn’t convince them otherwise, so it was more comfortable and less stressful to let the naysayers go. However, once I got well I found it difficult to trust and take people back in. It took quite some time for me to trust and know that the new people coming into my life wouldn’t judge me and would be kind and understanding.
It takes time, so please be patient with yourself and keep loving and believing in you. The right people will find you when you are ready!
You are loved. You are courageous, and keep being stubborn. When you need support, it will be there. Just be you.
Prue’s quote of the day: “Today I will learn how to balance my life by letting myself be vulnerable, stubborn, loving and whatever I want to be when I want to be it! I will just be me.”