Why do we find it so hard to love and take care of ourselves when love is the best medicine?
If one of our inner belief systems or thought patterns is, “I am unworthy,” then one of our outer effects will be procrastination. After all, procrastination is one way to keep us from being who we want to be. Then we can berate ourselves again for procrastinating and prove to ourselves that we really are unworthy of living a healthy vibrant life. How sad?
When the self-criticism intensifies we reach for our bad habits. We might stuff our faces with ice cream and chocolate or burgers and fries and gulp down way too many glasses of wine trying to bury the truth about us. How do we feel then? Even worse and now we have more ammunition to berate our beautiful selves further. Sound familiar?
When you berate yourself when you scold yourself and when you beat yourself up, whom do you think you’re treating this way. Would you say the things you say to yourself to your best friend?
Our programming, both negative and positive are part of our belief structure. We learned this from the day we were born to around 5 years of age. The way we were treated as a child is usually the way we treat ourselves later in life. The person you are berating and not believing in is you as a little girl or boy.
When you get angry with yourself and want to beat yourself up, think of yourself as a little girl or boy. If you had a little girl or boy around 3 or 4 years of age in front of you who was afraid and angry what would you do? Would you get mad at that child and beat them up or would you put your arms out and love and support that child and tell them everything is going to be all right. Now, you are the adult, and if you are not comforting the child within you, then how sad is that.
The past is over; it’s done and dusted. It is in the past, and that’s where it needs to stay.Today is the present moment, and you now have the chance to treat yourself the way you wish to be treated. Don’t scold that little child within. Scolding yourself makes you more frightened and unloved. Remember how it felt when you were a child to be belittled.Well, it feels the same way now to that child within.
Starting right now be kind to you. Do loving things for yourself. Love yourself as you’ve never loved anyone or anything before. This is what the child within needs to reach its highest potential.
Keep thinking lovely thoughts because love is the best medicine.
Say this out loud every day…”I love and approve of myself every second of my day.” Say it louder! Shout it – scream it from the hilltops.
I went for a hike last weekend and just happened to sit on this rock overlooking the ocean. I never saw the words on the rock until my partner; Dave said, “Prue, look what’s written on the rock you are sitting on.” As my lovely friend, Bernie (Dr. Bernie Siegel) said, “There are no coincidences.”
Love is the best medicine!
Our Thoughts Create Our Future
Buddha referred to our negative thoughts as the drunken monkey mind. Those screeching monkeys can get way out of control some times! When we change our thought patterns and start to release the old beliefs, we can start healing our lives.
When the drunken monkey mind starts screeching, you need to hit the “delete” button – see it on the keyboard in your mind and hit the key. You have the power to stop your crazy thoughts right now and for the rest of your life.
The truth is we become what we think. I’ve proved this to myself over and over again during the last 3 decades. What you are thinking right now is creating your future, so if you don’t like your life as it is right now, you can change it. How powerful is that?
What if you could learn life-changing techniques that would stop you belittling yourself? Would you use them?
Here are some of the techniques I use:
1. When the crazy thoughts come in, catch your thoughts and say STOP and then say to yourself, ” I love myself, and I am worthy of living my best life right now.”
2. See the “delete” button on your computer and in your mind, and hit it.
3. Yell out STOP! Go away and see your negative chatter drifting away or put all your thoughts in a hot air balloon and see them floating high up into the sky.
4. Put a rubber band on your wrist and whenever you catch yourself with drunken monkey mind chatter snap the rubber band.
Boom…guess what? You have just kicked your old negative beliefs to the curb. You have stopped the monkeys from screeching. The more you catch yourself in a negative state of mind and quickly do a pattern interrupt the better your life will become.
What is a pattern interrupt?
A pattern interrupt is a technique that changes a particular thought, situation or behavior. Neuro linguistic programming uses this technique to interrupt and change thought patterns and behaviors.
Did you know that we have an average of 50,000 thoughts a day and 95% of those thoughts are repeated every day? That leaves us with very little space for creating our new positive life.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein.
I know from personal experience that tragic moments – emotional trauma causes disease. As some of you know, a 17 year old drunk driver killed my dad when I was young, and I didn’t have the coping mechanisms to deal with the terrible grief. This young girl fled her country with a knapsack and a one-way ticket to see the world and to find herself.
Three years later, I was diagnosed with the most aggressive form of cancer – nodular melanoma and given 6 months to live.
What was your tragic moment?
The following are signs that an emotional trauma may be effecting you or a loved one: I suffered from all of these after my dad died.
- Ongoing nightmares and flashbacks about an event.
- Avoiding people, places, and situations that are reminders of the trauma.
- Spontaneous recurrence or distressing memories of the event.
- When reminded of the people, places, and situations of that traumatic event we become inconsolable.
- Sweeping negative thoughts and blame about oneself, others, or the world (e.g., “I am no good,” “I have nothing to live for,” “The world is a dangerous place”)
- Overall feelings of shame, horror, anger, guilt, or fear
- Stopping your life and activities that used to interest you.
- Self-destructive addictive behavior – drugs, alcohol, food
- Inability to concentrate
- Sleep issues
- Emotional numbness
- Overall edginess or irritability
- Mood swings
These can all be signs of unresolved emotional trauma. If you have experienced a traumatic event in your life and you have not healed the wound of that experience, chances are you will be dealing with the ramifications of chronic stress which could lead to cancer or another chronic disease.
If you are feeling lost or emotionally upset here are some great self-care rituals you can do daily to heal your life.
1. Look in the mirror and say to yourself. I love you (and then say your name.) It will seem strange to begin with but the more you can do this the quicker you will learn to love yourself.
2. Help someone – open a door for a stranger – smile at someone and see how you feel.
3. Check in with your emotions – sit quietly and name your feelings without judgment.
4. Write out your thoughts and put them in a “Think Box.” See how many days a week you think the same negative thoughts and find ways to release those thoughts. Snap a rubber band!
5. Choose how and with whom you spend your time. Meet up with people that are positive and emit empowering uplifting energy – leave the drainers – the negative people alone.
6. Ask a couple of friends to tell you what they love about you.
7. Spend time with your pet. If you don’t have a pet, maybe one of your friends will let you stroke and play with their pet. Volunteer at a shelter.
8. Treat yourself to a luxury item. Perhaps a massage or a Reiki treatment. A small way of loving yourself.
9. Have a date with yourself – spend time alone nourishing yourself – go to a movie – museum or art gallery you’ve always wanted to visit.
10. Ask for help – most of us are scared to ask for help – big or small, just ask and see how you feel.
Sandy A Brophy
I love you! I have always followed what you teach or present. You are way ahead of your time with your wisdom. Thank you for always sharing.