Q & A with Bernie – June 5, 2023

Message to Bernie:

Hi Bernie!
Loved your post today. It made me think of you, I appreciate your friendship very much. So this is my Top 10 Reasons Why Bernie is a Great Friend:

#1. He’s honest but kind. If Bernie thinks you should try harder or look at a different perspective, he will tell you. Real friends tell you the truth.

#2. Tells great stories. I remember when you were in physical rehab and told me how you, your wife and most of your children are born around the same time of year, and that your wife planned it this way, so you would all celebrate birthdays together. You also tell stories often in a funny way.

#3. You accept people unconditionally. I know I have quirks and faults and at this point I’m sure you are aware of some of them! But you accept people – as they are – right now.

#4. Bernie, you are funny! You like to make people laugh, whether first meeting them, or in your blog post or a book, or talking to them one on one, or in your group support calls—you know humor is a real “boost” for anyone.

#5. You respond to my messages quickly, especially if something worries me. If I’ve had a test I don’t understand or labs that are frustrating, sometimes I’m surprised by how quickly I hear from you. I am very grateful for your support.

#6. You encourage people & they know when you do – that you are 110% in their corner every step of the way. I’ve needed to work on making changes and you know about losing weight, eating more vegetarian meals, not easy changes. But you encourage me saying I can do these things and I know you believe that I can. This helps ME to believe I can!

#7. You are interested in ALL people. A true people person. Lots of people it’s easy to say they are outgoing, an extrovert, that means they want to be AROUND people. But you have deep interest in getting to know everyone.

#8. Bernie you love cats & all animals, even bugs like earthworms. While I am a big animal person too, so it’s always good to know another animal person – I also believe you can tell a lot from someone who treats others who are vulnerable – and voiceless – and you always treat all animals and beings like they are absolutely precious.

#9. You are a good friend who remembers what is important to a friend. I know you talk to a lot of people (see #7!) but I never have to re-explain what is going on in my life that is critical to you, because you know what is going on. And you ask me about things, too.


Thank you – every day – for being my friend. You are someone who knows the true meaning of being a wonderful friend. I love you!!!!!

And here’s an update on my health—Good news! My brother accepted I don’t want an aide. He’s sending a cleaning service once or twice a month. I also just saw a notice put out by my apartment building that we are permitted to have emotional support animals. So I can get a cat!!!!!!

I’ve been doing some research to improve my nutrition. It’s wonderful the cancer is stable for nearly two years when originally they gave me three years to live. So I am very grateful. I have to admit, with healing myself, I feel I need to do more. So I’ll start taking fish oil omega 3 and also probiotics. Both have shown in studies for stage four breast cancer, to help the chemo and meditation respond better and reduce the cancer. The probiotics also help obese stage 4 breast cancer woman lose weight more successfully. I’m looking at getting a simple juice maker, I think this could be a way to increase my veggies intake.

I also got permission from my orthopedic surgeon this week to do the back at home physical therapy exercises daily. For now the physical therapist is working on the knee, but doing the exercises will help with the improvement the back physical therapy already had and will return to, but won’t be starting from zero.

I’m listening to several guided imagery meditations daily, one for depression and one for anger because all I’m reading says people with cancer have suppressed emotions; and one for my immune system to beat the cancer.

My oncologist has wanted me on a more plant based diet so I’m getting more serious about this. I want to give my body and spirit every advantage, so the healing that has taken place will only get stronger and the cancer will be gone.

I have a feeling that standing up to my brother in this way and having him not ignore me is a powerful shift. It shows more healing changes are coming my way.

Love you Bonus Dad.


Bernie’s Answer:

You are special.  Open your heart to your brother.


Response to Bernie:

Thank you very much.  I’ll try doing this during my evening meditation. Our conversations are tense, so I’m not calling him and saying I love you, just sending love.

Bernie’s Answer:

Hugs, and love your body.