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  • New from Bernie Siegel

    Introducing Bernie Siegel's new audio download, Daily Meditations for Optimal Health. Selected for Dr. Bernie Siegel’s Prescriptions for Living best-selling series, these recordings are a combination of guided imagery, auto-hypnosis and meditations that relieve stress, open the heart, and deeply heal your mind, body and spirit. Learn more.     Available now. Order your copy online today at:  Hay House.
    Introducing Bernie Siegel's new title, Love, Animals & Miracles: Inspiring True Stories Celebrating the Healing Bond . The stories in this new book offer funny and heart-touching, true-life experiences that convey loving connections, amazing rescues, and healing with (and by) animals — both wild and domestic. Learn more     Available now in bookstores everywhere. Order your copy online today at:  Wisdom of the Ages, Barnes & NobleAmazon or New World Library.
  • Ask Bernie a Question

    Have a question you would like to ask Bernie? Use the message box below, and be sure to include your e-mail address. Bernie will answer questions each Monday on his blog (see below). Thank you for sharing your question!

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  • Today’s Prescription for the Soul – Prescription #122 – Getting to Know You

    I hope that my “365 Prescriptions for the Soul,” will be a welcome and healing addition to your day. The prescriptions I ask you to fill are designed for your total well-being. They come from hard-earned wisdom and experience with the difficulties of life. They are dispensed “as written” with love. At the end of each prescription is my “Soulution” to help you develop healthy self-love, self-esteem, and self-worth. Please take the prescription I have written for you here and fill it right away.


    The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.

    ~ Thomas Carlyle, 1795-1881, Scottish Historian and Essayist

    Getting to know yourself better takes courage. It is far easier to hide behind a mask than to see yourself as you really are. There are many who think they are perfect and need not change, who think they’re the center of the universe, and they have a problem.

    If you wish to know yourself and change for the better, you need to accept your inadequacies, fears, weaknesses, mistakes, and more. If you need others present constantly to entertain and distract you, then you are afraid to be still and know yourself.

    So spend some time being totally alone and see how you feel. If you are comfortable, then I would say you are in the process of knowing yourself. Knowing yourself means being willing to be with yourself. Once you can do that, the frantic search for distraction and escape will stop ruling your life and you can choose to fill your life with the things that bring you joy.

    Soulution of the Day

    Even if it feels uncomfortable, go away with yourself
    and spend some time together getting to know yourself.
    You may find that you are great company.

    - Bernie

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  • Rhythm and Space

    Rhythm is the foundation and the most essential element of any art form. Its essence is pulsations, and therefore movement, the basis of life itself.
    ~ Pia Gilbert and Aileene Lockhart, Music for Dance

    We each need to find a sense of rhythm to make our life flow.  The pace is also vital.  The ticking of a clock at sixty beats a minute quiets us, and so does music at that beat.  Faster-paced pieces often make us restless or hyperactive.

    So find your rhythm and the intensity of the sound you are comfortable with.  If you are comfortable working a jackhammer, fine.  A cricket chirping might disturb someone else.  Nothing is right or wrong if you are living the rhythm of your life.

    Connection and continuity are absent when someone or something else dictates the pace of your life’s music.  When you find the rhythm that is right for you, your life will flow from one moment to another.

    Find your beat and conduct your life as you would a musical composition.

    Peace,
    Bernie

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    How Love Makes Us Healthier

    Hello lovely you.

    Can you believe it is July already. The 4th of July is here and it’s time to celebrate with magical fireworks and enjoy our family and friends.  Today I want to dive into a topic that I personally find fascinating, and that is the power of LOVE of ourselves, family and friends.

    We all know that being in love or just spending time with our loved ones feels good. We feel positive emotions like joy, safety and indescribable warmth. But science has shown there are some pretty incredible things going on physically behind the scenes. It turns out love can actually BOOST our health.

    Here are some amazing ways love makes us healthier:

    Helps Beat Cancer

    Let me start right out of the gate with an amazing study done out of the University of Iowa. Researchers found that when ovarian cancer patients had a strong feeling of connection with other people and had satisfying loving relationships, they had more robust “natural killer” cell activity at the site of the tumor than those who didn’t have those social ties.

    In other words, when we feel real love in our life, our immune system’s white blood cells are even more capable of KILLING cancerous cells.

    It Relieves Stress and Lowers Blood Pressure

    A study conducted in 2014 by the Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh showed that giving and receiving hugs and cuddles can help reduce our overall stress.

    Lead author of the study, Sheldon Cohen, explains: “We tested whether perceptions of social support are equally effective in protecting us from stress-induced susceptibility to infection and also whether receiving hugs might partially account for those feelings of support and themselves protect a person against infection. The apparent protective effect of hugs may be attributable to the physical contact itself or to hugging being a behavioral indicator of support and intimacy.”

    Another study out of the University of North Carolina found that hugging may actually (and dramatically) reduce your blood pressure. But as an added bonus, hugs can increase your levels of oxytocin, which is a hormone that plays a key role in orgasms. And, the study found the more you hug, the better!

    Women who gave and/or received the most hugs a day saw a significant increase in their oxytocin levels as well as a decrease in their blood pressure. In fact, the improvements in blood pressure numbers were similar to what people see with many of the leading blood pressure medications.

    The moral of the story: save money and avoid nasty side effects of prescription medications by hugging more every single day!

    It’s Actually Good for Our Heart

    It turns out love is actually, physically good for our heart. A study out of the University of Pittsburgh found that women who were in satisfying and loving marriages were at much lower risk for developing heart disease compared to those in high-stress relationships.

    It Helps Us Live Longer

    The National Longitudinal Mortality Study, which has been tracking over a million participants since 1979, has found that, in general, married people have fewer heart attacks, less cancer rates, fewer bouts of pneumonia and, in general, live longer than single people.

    Is Love the Future of Medicine?

    Wouldn’t it be nice if, in the near future, your doctor not only prescribed a special diet and nutritional supplements for your health, but also DEMANDED that you and your partner took a romantic getaway three times a year? Some experts believe this emerging evidence will one day very soon translate into real-life medical advice.

    I am so happy when I hear more and more medical doctors are giving real thought and interest into how our emotions effect our health. This is something I have known for decades. Love is not just a warm and fuzzy feeling, it seems to be an actual force of some kind that has the power to heal us. Even skeptics are looking at the relationship between love and health differently.

    “My husband is an immunologist, and when we started our research, he’d be the first to admit that he thought the psychology part of this was a crock,” says Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, director of health psychology at Ohio State University’s College of Medicine. “Now, he’s seen what stress can do in bad relationships, and also how a good relationship can protect people from outside stresses—like work.”

    Let’s all take this special holiday – 4th of July as an opportunity to connect even deeper to the people we love. Show how much you love your partner, spouse, friends, siblings, parents and children. Find ways to show them how much you care and by all means, GIVE AS MANY HUGS AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN!

    With much love, light and a BIG, BIG bear hug…

    Prue

    https://www.pruesplace.com

    P.S. Grab a copy of Bernie’s amazing book. “Love Medicine and Miracles.” It says it all,  One of my favorite books in the world!

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    Bird in a Cage

    The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitudes.
    ~ Victor Frankl

    You’ve heard the question, “Why does the caged bird sing?”  We are all birds in cages in one way or another, but we have a choice in how we respond.  I prefer to sing. It is like a prayer for me.  It calms me and makes the moment tolerable.

    A friend of mine wears a cap with a picture of Tweety on it.  Her disease makes her feel like a bird in a cage, trapped in a sick body.  The hat reminds her that caged birds can still be happy and sing.  When you sing you bring harmony back into your life.

    You have a choice about the quality of the sounds you make.  I know birds that give out piercing sounds to get attention when they are lonely.  I prefer to sing, dance, and laugh, but at times I do shriek.  (Of course, the way I sing gets attention, but people prefer that I be happy and quiet for their peace and comfort!)

    How do you respond to your cage, and what song do you choose to sing?

    Peace,
    - Bernie

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    Love is the Best Medicine

    Why do we find it so hard to love and take care of ourselves when love is the best medicine?

    If one of our inner belief systems or thought patterns is, “I am unworthy,” then one of our outer effects will be procrastination. After all, procrastination is one way to keep us from being who we want to be. Then we can berate ourselves again for procrastinating and prove to ourselves that we really are unworthy of living a healthy vibrant life. How sad?

    When the self-criticism intensifies we reach for our bad habits. We might stuff our faces with ice cream and chocolate or burgers and fries and gulp down way too many glasses of wine trying to bury the truth about us. How do we feel then? Even worse and now we have more ammunition to berate our beautiful selves further. Sound familiar?

    When you berate yourself when you scold yourself and when you beat yourself up, whom do you think you’re treating this way. Would you say the things you say to yourself to your best friend?

    Our programming, both negative and positive are part of our belief structure. We learned this from the day we were born to around 5 years of age. The way we were treated as a child is usually the way we treat ourselves later in life. The person you are berating and not believing in is you as a little girl or boy.

    When you get angry with yourself and want to beat yourself up, think of yourself as a little girl or boy. If you had a little girl or boy around 3 or 4 years of age in front of you who was afraid and angry what would you do? Would you get mad at that child and beat them up or would you put your arms out and love and support that child and tell them everything is going to be all right. Now, you are the adult, and if you are not comforting the child within you, then how sad is that.

    The past is over; it’s done and dusted. It is in the past, and that’s where it needs to stay.Today is the present moment, and you now have the chance to treat yourself the way you wish to be treated. Don’t scold that little child within. Scolding yourself makes you more frightened and unloved. Remember how it felt when you were a child to be belittled.Well, it feels the same way now to that child within.

    Starting right now be kind to you. Do loving things for yourself. Love yourself as you’ve never loved anyone or anything before. This is what the child within needs to reach its highest potential.

    Keep thinking lovely thoughts because love is the best medicine.

    Say this out loud every day…”I love and approve of myself every second of my day.” Say it louder! Shout it – scream it from the hilltops.

    I went for a hike last weekend and just happened to sit on this rock overlooking the ocean. I never saw the words on the rock until my partner; Dave said, “Prue, look what’s written on the rock you are sitting on.” As my lovely friend, Bernie (Dr. Bernie Siegel) said, “There are no coincidences.”

    Love is the best medicine!

    Our Thoughts Create Our Future

    Buddha referred to our negative thoughts as the drunken monkey mind. Those screeching monkeys can get way out of control some times! When we change our thought patterns and start to release the old beliefs, we can start healing our lives.

    When the drunken monkey mind starts screeching, you need to hit the “delete” button – see it on the keyboard in your mind and hit the key. You have the power to stop your crazy thoughts right now and for the rest of your life.

    The truth is we become what we think. I’ve proved this to myself over and over again during the last 3 decades. What you are thinking right now is creating your future, so if you don’t like your life as it is right now, you can change it. How powerful is that?

    What if you could learn life-changing techniques that would stop you belittling yourself? Would you use them?

    Here are some of the techniques I use:

    1. When the crazy thoughts come in, catch your thoughts and say STOP and then say to yourself, ” I love myself, and I am worthy of living my best life right now.”

    2. See the “delete” button on your computer and in your mind, and hit it.

    3. Yell out STOP! Go away and see your negative chatter drifting away or put all your thoughts in a hot air balloon and see them floating high up into the sky.

    4. Put a rubber band on your wrist and whenever you catch yourself with drunken monkey mind chatter snap the rubber band.

    Boom…guess what? You have just kicked your old negative beliefs to the curb. You have stopped the monkeys from screeching. The more you catch yourself in a negative state of mind and quickly do a pattern interrupt the better your life will become.

    What is a pattern interrupt?

    A pattern interrupt is a technique that changes a particular thought, situation or behavior. Neuro linguistic programming uses this technique to interrupt and change thought patterns and behaviors.

    Did you know that we have an average of 50,000 thoughts a day and 95% of those thoughts are repeated every day? That leaves us with very little space for creating our new positive life.

    “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein.

    I know from personal experience that tragic moments – emotional trauma causes disease. As some of you know, a 17 year old drunk driver killed my dad when I was young, and I didn’t have the coping mechanisms to deal with the terrible grief. This young girl fled her country with a knapsack and a one-way ticket to see the world and to find herself.

    Three years later, I was diagnosed with the most aggressive form of cancer – nodular melanoma and given 6 months to live.

    What was your tragic moment?

    The following are signs that an emotional trauma may be effecting you or a loved one: I suffered from all of these after my dad died.

    • Ongoing nightmares and flashbacks about an event.
    • Avoiding people, places, and situations that are reminders of the trauma.
    • Spontaneous recurrence or distressing memories of the event.
    • When reminded of the people, places, and situations of that traumatic event we become inconsolable.
    • Sweeping negative thoughts and blame about oneself, others, or the world (e.g., “I am no good,” “I have nothing to live for,” “The world is a dangerous place”)
    • Overall feelings of shame, horror, anger, guilt, or fear
    • Stopping your life and activities that used to interest you.
    • Self-destructive addictive behavior – drugs, alcohol, food
    • Inability to concentrate
    • Sleep issues
    • Anxiety
    • Emotional numbness
    • Overall edginess or irritability
    • Mood swings

    These can all be signs of unresolved emotional trauma. If you have experienced a traumatic event in your life and you have not healed the wound of that experience, chances are you will be dealing with the ramifications of chronic stress which could lead to cancer or another chronic disease.

    If you are feeling lost or emotionally upset here are some great self-care rituals you can do daily to heal your life.

    1. Look in the mirror and say to yourself. I love you (and then say your name.) It will seem strange to begin with but the more you can do this the quicker you will learn to love yourself.

    2. Help someone – open a door for a stranger – smile at someone and see how you feel.

    3. Check in with your emotions – sit quietly and name your feelings without judgment.

    4. Write out your thoughts and put them in a “Think Box.” See how many days a week you think the same negative thoughts and find ways to release those thoughts. Snap a rubber band!

    5. Choose how and with whom you spend your time. Meet up with people that are positive and emit empowering uplifting energy – leave the drainers – the negative people alone.

    6. Ask a couple of friends to tell you what they love about you.

    7. Spend time with your pet. If you don’t have a pet, maybe one of your friends will let you stroke and play with their pet. Volunteer at a shelter.

    8. Treat yourself to a luxury item. Perhaps a massage or a Reiki treatment. A small way of loving yourself.

    9. Have a date with yourself – spend time alone nourishing yourself – go to a movie – museum or art gallery you’ve always wanted to visit.

    10. Ask for help – most of us are scared to ask for help – big or small, just ask and see how you feel.

    With love,
    Prue

    https://www.pruesplace.com

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    Ocean

    In all things in nature there is something of the marvelous.
    ~ Aristotle

    I have always been attracted to the ocean.  We have a vacation house on Cape Cod, and if I didn’t have so many family connections here, I’d probably be living in Hawaii now.  I feel close to the essence of life and creation when I stand, listen to, and watch the eternal coming and going of the waves.

    In the evening the sound of the roaring surf sedates me. I have watched the ocean wash away large pieces of the land and can appreciate its force.  On a deserted beach in Molokai, the Hawaiian island where a leper colony once existed, I had to rescue my wife when a large wave unexpectedly knocked her over and pulled her into the ocean.

    The ocean, the mountains, and the rainbows that one sees in Hawaii remind me of the pact God made with Noah.  The rainbow was the sign meant to remind us of God’s pledge to not send another flood.

    Stand, watch, and listen to the rhythm of life the ocean displays.

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    Releasing Emotional Baggage – the REAL Natural Cancer Cure?

    Good morning lovely you,

    I am sitting here with a hairy cat and steaming mug of tea. I’m certainly glad my tea isn’t hairy and my cat isn’t steaming, I might not get this blog post out in time!

    Hopefully, that gave you a little laugh to start your day. It’s so important to invite humor and fun into our lives. But it’s equally important to feel the not-so-fun emotions in our lives as well.

    The truth is we ALL carry around emotional baggage. We’ve all been hurt. Some of us had painful childhoods full of fear, anxiety, and dysfunction. Some of us have been rejected while others have been involved in one or more toxic relationships and painful breakups or divorce. And some of us have lost loved ones over the years (four-legged and two-legged), and some of those deaths may have been sudden and tragic.

    Most of us aren’t equipped to deal with this emotional pain. We find ways around experiencing the depth of our pain – find novel ways to completely avoid it. There may be the initial sting, and then, unable to handle it, and convinced that these powerful emotions will perhaps kill us, we push the pain down and get on with our lives.

    I learned the hard way that feeling sadness and grief can’t kill you, but NOT feeling your emotions CAN.

    The Day My Father Died

    My father meant the world to me. I loved him with my whole heart. I actually adored him and was definitely a daddy’s little girl. My father didn’t just unexpectedly die one day, he was tragically killed by a drunk driver. The person who meant more to me than anyone in the ENTIRE world was ripped out of my life without warning because someone chose to get behind the wheel after drinking too much.

    When I got the news about my dad, I couldn’t process it. I could actually feel myself shut down. Many of you who have been through tragic loss know what I am talking about.

    Though there were initial tears and grieving, my mind, heart, and soul could not handle my new reality. And so I shoved my pain down. This became a habit as I awoke each day and had to remember my father had been killed all over again.

    Months later, I would be diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma and given only 6 months to live.

    I needed to find the REAL Natural Cancer Cure.

    Do you think it was a coincidence that the cancer diagnosis followed so quickly after my father’s tragic passing? I know without a doubt it was no coincidence. It was a result of me suppressing my grief and sadness.

    Resistance to pain wears us down and inhibits our immune system. But beyond that, stuffing our emotions deep down causes energy blocks that can eventually create disease.

    You see, everything that exists does so in energy from. Thoughts are energy and so are emotions. If you don’t allow yourself to feel the depths of your feelings and process a sad event in your life, then that energy gets trapped and over time, that trapped energy manifests physically with aches, pains, allergies, headaches, muscle spasms and yes, chronic and deadly diseases.

    This isn’t woo-woo nutter stuff I’m talking about. Though I knew without a doubt that my stuck emotions lead to my cancer, science is now finally catching up and recognizing the undeniable link between unresolved emotions and disease.

    My dear friend and best-selling author Dr. Bernie Siegel said, “If we do not pay attention to our feelings and the messages from our body then our body will assume we do not enjoy life and get us out of here as quickly as possible.”

    I believe that is exactly what happened after my father’s death. I did not process my feelings. I just couldn’t feel that amount of pain. And so they festered and eventually, my subconscious mind said, “I guess we’d better check out now.”

    How to Let Go

    You may or may not be aware that you are holding onto old, suppressed emotions. Many of us suppress emotions completely subconsciously as a protective mechanism. Children and young people do this a lot.

    But now is the time to get to know yourself, and that includes all of your darkness and pain. It’s time to face your pain and release it. By letting go of these destructive emotions, you can heal your life and your body.

    “But I don’t know HOW to let go,” you might be thinking.

    Here are some exercises you can do to begin to release your emotional baggage and find the REAL Natural Cancer Cure.

    Feel Your Emotions Fully

    As soon as you feel an uncomfortable emotion rising from within you, notice your instinct to shove it back down. After noticing this instinct, stop the instinct, and allow the emotion to come up fully. Feel the emotion. Sit there with it in silence. Notice how feeling the emotion makes you feel physically. Tell yourself that you are fine while feeling the emotion. You will eventually notice the emotion dissipate, and you will have taken the power you have attached to it away.

    Meditate on Love

    After the initial negative or sad emotion has dissipated, spend 5 – 10 minutes focusing on sending yourself love. To do this, close your eyes and envision your heart. See a warm soft light extending out from your heart. Your light may be white, pink, orange or any color that you connect to love. Focus on this light and see it grow bigger and bigger until it is encompassing your entire body. Your body is now inside the warmest, softest light and you can feel it vibrate and love you. Sit there with this love all around you that is coming from your heart for a few minutes and just breathe and be loved.

    Ask Source for Help

    After sitting with this love for a time, end your emotion session by speaking to your angels and spirit guides. You could say something like:

    “Divine intelligence, I ask that you release these old emotions from my energy field, my mind and all of the cells in my body. Help me to let go of these destructive feelings and love myself more and more every day. And I let it be so!”

    The REAL Natural Cancer Cure is within you.

    I promise you a few things:

    This work will be challenging.

    This work will be rewarding.

    This work is absolutely necessary for your health and well-being.

    Sending you love, light and the courage to face your own darkness…
    Prue

    https://www.pruesplace.com

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    Immortality

    Nothing disappears without a trace.
    ~ Wernher von Braun

    I am convinced that two things are immortal: love and consciousness.  My love lives on in all the people I have loved and who have loved me. Think about a moment in your life when you felt loved or loving, and you will feel the change in your body.  The love is still with you from that original experience.

    Our consciousness, I believe, continues to exist without our body; it simply is.  It is as difficult to describe why I know this to be true as it is to describe God.  There are many unexplainable things such as the blind seeing when they leave their bodies.  I accept that fact too, and live in peace with it.

    I know my consciousness will go on and re-enter another body at the moment of birth.  Can I prove it? That depends on whether you have an open mind and are willing to accept the evidence.  Whether you believe in it or not, enjoy your immortality.

    Live eternally through your love and know your consciousness will last forever.

    Peace,
    Bernie

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    Can being stubborn help you survive cancer?

    Hello Mr. and Ms. Stubborn -

    I often find myself on my own or way too busy with other people. Can we find the perfect balance of needing to be around people and not needing anyone at all?

    I am an only child, so I spent many hours on my own as a child. Hence the spiritual friend I discovered and mentioned in previous posts. My childhood friend, Louise, who was my imagery friend.

    Who do you need? What do you need? When do you need it?

    Sometimes we are lonely and sad and sometimes we feel we have no one around us and we get needy and feel unloved. Did we drive our friends or loved ones away? Why do we do that?

    Then there are the stubborn obstinate ones like you and me who dig in so hard we can’t see the wood for the trees. We are the ones that don’t think we need anyone! Can being stubborn help you survive cancer?

    I don’t know about you but I think being stubborn is an asset, a good quality to have when we are navigating our cancer journey. I don’t know where I would be without my stubborn ways. I never took NO for an answer. If this is you stick with it for now. A doctor friend of mine told me my determination and come hell or high water attitude is what saved my life!!

    When we have healed and can look back on our journey knowing we are surviving this disease we can learn how to let go.

    When we have recovered from the pain of the past, and we know how to go within to that knowing trusting part of us and let others in to help us, we can let go.

    When you accept that part of you that needs support and help, you can open up to vulnerability. This is when we can start to accept what we have been through and start our new wonderful lives, gently, one day at a time.

    When I was struggling with cancer, I found it very difficult to be around people. I felt I needed to shut myself off to find myself. In many ways that were true. I dug in and got to know myself better on my own. I could heal and listen to my spiritual angels and guides without distractions or uncertainty about what I was doing. My friends thought I had lost my mind meditating to Dr. Bernie Siegel’s work and forgiving the past to save my life and I couldn’t convince them otherwise, so it was more comfortable and less stressful to let the naysayers go. However, once I got well I found it difficult to trust and take people back in. It took quite some time for me to trust and know that the new people coming into my life wouldn’t judge me and would be kind and understanding.

    It takes time, so please be patient with yourself and keep loving and believing in you. The right people will find you when you are ready!

    You are loved. You are courageous, and keep being stubborn. When you need support, it will be there. Just be you.

    With love,
    Prue

    https://www.pruesplace.com

    Prue’s quote of the day: “Today I will learn how to balance my life by letting myself be vulnerable, stubborn, loving and whatever I want to be when I want to be it! I will just be me.”

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    The New Age

    Which would you rather have? New Age…or No Age?
    ~ Mick Winter

    What does the New Age mean to me?  It represents a “Let’s open our eyes” attitude.  Once the New Age held that the world was round, and no one was receptive to that.  But just a short time later, it became common knowledge.  There is always a New Age that represents what we are yet to discover.

    If people can believe in and stay open to a new reality, then the world will slowly change.  I think that is what the New Age is always about, because what is reality today can change tomorrow.

    For instance, twenty years ago, I was considered crazy for talking to people under anesthesia.  Now, in the medical literature, articles show that if you talk to people under anesthesia they experience less pain and go home sooner.  So suddenly my teachings are old hat.  It’s wonderful to be able to be a little crazy and stay open to the next New Age.

    Always be willing to move forward into the New Age.

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    Cancer Self-Help: How To Love The People You Hate

    Good morning lovely you!

    I am sipping my steaming cup of tea, and little Zuzu is sound asleep next to me. It’s a grey morning here in New England but hearing the birds chirping and little Zuzu purring makes the day that much brighter. All would seem well in my world.

    But right outside my door is a world that I don’t control. It is a world that can be painful and scary at times. If I were to let myself take a peek at today’s news headlines, I’m sure the peaceful feeling in my home would slip away from me.

    Yes indeed, life in the “real” world can be fraught with all kinds of unpleasantness. And when something unpleasant is done to us, it’s easy for us to hold hate in our heart for the people who “done us wrong.”

    Sure, we may eventually be able to forgive people for hurting us. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves. Good people forgive others, and since we are a good person, we do our best to let the pain and anger go.

    This sounds great on paper, but letting go of anger and pain is not that easy. We think we have forgiven our coworker for stabbing us in the back to get the promotion or our sister for constantly criticizing us and making us feel bad about ourselves. But then we see them or have an interaction with them, and that anger, resentment and hatred begin to permeate our heart. It was there all along, we just fooled ourselves into thinking it was gone.

    People hurt us, it’s just a fact of life. Some may mean to do it and others may not, but the result is the same – the pain usually turns into hate.

    Why You Must Stop Hating Those Who Have Hurt You

    When we allow ourselves to feel hatred toward another, we can eventually become very dark. We all have darkness and the capacity to be negative, but we also have a choice to be of the dark or of the light. Choosing to roll around in your anger and resentment toward someone else, feeling totally justified in doing so, is a recipe for turning into something that you hate – a monster. Have you ever gotten so angry and full of rage or hatred that you felt like a different person? Like your mild-mannered Dr. Jekyll turned into a shockingly evil Mr. Hyde?

    Hate begets more hate, and soon you become a thing created out of hate, and you begin to hate yourself. So you don’t just hate other people, the hatred is turned around on yourself for hating them.

    Holding onto hatred also causes us to negatively impact the people we love. We end up taking our anger and resentment out on the wrong people, and they can, in turn, begin to feel anger and resentment toward us. And the vicious cycle continues until the entire world is made up of outraged and resentful people, creating news headlines that are not very uplifting.

    When you let go of hate, you heal your life and the health of the planet. You become the Love Warrior and that is the best Cancer Self-Help and Self-Care.

    How to Love the People You Hate

    Admittedly, understanding the WHY you must stop hating and loving those who have hurt you is ultimately easier than the HOW of it.

    Here are some ways you can begin to love the people you hate:

    Recognize Their Humanity

    Generally speaking, the people on this planet who do the most atrocious acts are the ones who are in the most pain themselves and need compassion. The truth is, we are all beautiful, damaged goods in our own way and we generally do the best we can do. Instead of hating people who have hurt you, try to simply recognize that they are in their own pain.

    Find the Lesson

    Imagine someone gives you a wrapped present. When you unwrap it, you see it is an old, crushed milk carton. “What the hell kind of a gift is this,” you’d think, pretty p*ssed. You might even feel resentful.

    But then suppose you decided to keep looking and saw they put a $100 bill in the old crushed milk carton as your real present. Well, you’d be pretty pleased.

    Life often gives us the most meaningful gifts inside the crappiest packaging. You simply have to look.

    Focus on Loving Yourself More Than Hating Others

    You only have so much energy and hours in the day. You can either spend that time and energy on hating other people or showing yourself kindness and love. When you focus on loving yourself, you begin to innately understand that hatred in all forms is damaging to your body, soul and mind.

    Kill them with Kindness

    My dear friend, Dr. Bernie Siegel told me he went up to a violent young man in public and said this statement to him. “I want you to know I love you and I’m sorry your parents don’t.” The young man stopped screaming turned and walked away.

    What happens when you are kind and loving toward someone you have perceived as “doing you wrong?” You tell your subconscious mind through action that they haven’t done anything hateful toward you. Most of us tend to show generosity and kindness and love toward those we love and have positive feelings about. By showing loving actions toward those we “hate” – we rewire our hearts and brains into actually loving them.

    Life isn’t always easy, and there will always be times when other people hurt us. The key is to not take it so personally all of the time. Most people go through life completely unaware of how their actions affect other people.

    By following these tips and becoming a Love Warrior, you can begin to love those you hate and start healing your life. This is all part of good cancer self-help and self-care.

    Sending love and light.
    Prue.

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