• Quick Links

  • New from Bernie Siegel – Love, Animals & Miracles

    Introducing Bernie Siegel's new title, Love, Animals & Miracles: Inspiring True Stories Celebrating the Healing Bond . The stories in this new book offer funny and heart-touching, true-life experiences that convey loving connections, amazing rescues, and healing with (and by) animals — both wild and domestic. Learn more     Available now in bookstores everywhere. Order your copy online today at:  Wisdom of the Ages, Barnes & NobleAmazon or New World Library.
  • Amelia’s Ark Angel Society

    Please support my friend Amelia Kinkade with her new charity, ARK ANGEL, which enables her to go into schools in rural Africa and educate children about wildlife conservation so that they don’t grow up to be poachers.

    Amelia Kinkade has written a book called Whispers from the Wild: Listening to Voices from the Animal Kingdom. In this book, she takes us all over the world, revealing the inner thoughts and feelings of a huge variety of animals, including dangerous ones. She shares the advice she has gleaned from working with such a diverse group of animals — words about tenderness, reconnection with nature, life after death, and the possibilities of magical awakenings inside the brains of an ever-evolving human race. Learn More

  • Ask Bernie a Question

    Have a question you would like to ask Bernie? Use the message box below, and be sure to include your e-mail address. Bernie will answer questions each Monday on his blog (see below). Thank you for sharing your question!

    Your Email (required)

    Your Question

  • Today’s Prescription for the Soul – Prescription #87 – Accentuate the Positive

    I hope that my “365 Prescriptions for the Soul,” will be a welcome and healing addition to your day. The prescriptions I ask you to fill are designed for your total well-being. They come from hard-earned wisdom and experience with the difficulties of life. They are dispensed “as written” with love. At the end of each prescription is my “Soulution” to help you develop healthy self-love, self-esteem, and self-worth. Please take the prescription I have written for you here and fill it right away.


    Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you.
    Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you.

    ~ William Arthur Ward (1921-1994), American writer

    You may remember a line from an old song that says to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. Have you made those words a part of your life? When you ae talking to someone you love, do you criticize her behavior? Or do you let her know what you wish she would do because you love and care for her?

    Our son, Keith, and his wife, Jane, pointed this out to me by the way they raise their son, Charlie. Keith showed me the difference between saying “Don’t do that” and “Please be careful and safe.” One is critical and the other says I love you.

    Praise is the other important element: Accentuate the positive, and the negative begins to fade away. We all grow through praise and bloom with love.

    Soulution of the Day

    Try to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative
    through loving words and actions. Notice the difference.

    - Bernie

  • Share
  • Learning from Opposites

    Dear Everybody,

    Now your homework: Complete these quotes.

    You are only as old as …the women you feel.
    - Author Unknown

    The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and…to have the two as close together as possible.
    - George Burns

    Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people…only once a year.
    - Victor Borge

    On with the show: Two topics of interest to me are male / female issues and what we call disabilities. First a quickie on the male female thing. I love reading Joseph Campbell’s work and he pointed out that girls know when they become women because they menstruate and have a physical sign and symbol of the transformation while boys have to go through some experience or initiation, as many cultures do. They are often painful rituals which help them to make the transition from boy to man. Maybe that is part of the male problem. Feeling and knowing who we are and what we are capable of as men and to stop being boys who are controlled by the parental figures in our lives and who need to risk their lives to prove they are men.

    I was also reading a medical article which shows how differently male and female brains are structured and how they respond to different events and biological changes within the body because of it. For instance more men than women die of Alzheimer’s Disease and more women develop depression than men. Another interesting fact was that starving males drew their energy from protein and females from fat. When starved, females who have more body fat than males, can convert various fat resources and survive where the male dies when it runs out of protein. Yes, we are different for many reasons and not just relationships.

    So I think we all need to look at the psychological, as well as, the physical aspects of our life and nature. And remember that psyche and soma are two aspects of the unus mundus, as Jung said, or the one entity we are. So folks stop and figure out who you are and then enjoy living the life intended for you. Mind and body are two aspects of the same thing and so react to each other and can cause problems or help us to heal our lives and bodies when we are empowered and live our authentic lives.

    Now my next area of exploration is to look into the words disabled, retarded and different. I walked into the hospital room of a dying teenager I knew. Tony turned and pointed out that kids his age were playing in the street and said, “Why am I different?” I responded, “Because it makes you beautiful.” Those words came from God knows where. I was about to apologize for saying them to a dying child when Tony looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes and a beautiful smile. Yes, he made a difference in his high school and taught his family a great deal about life and they helped immortalize him with fund raising efforts, in his name, for other children with cystic fibrosis.

    I also recall a veterinarian, who the night before her mastectomy, couldn’t fall asleep picturing her body as deformed and never being normal again. She said, “Around four in the morning I suddenly thought of all the animals I operate on. I amputate legs, jaws and they wake up and lick their owner’s faces. They know they are here to love and be loved and teach us a few things.” She went on to say she had no trouble falling asleep at that moment. Yes, animals are complete and man is not. So learn to be thankful for what you can learn from your difficulties and the blessing that comes with it will become apparent. I didn’t say it was easy to do I am just sharing what I have learned from empowered survivors.

    Are we disabled or enabled? Many people I know with cerebral palsy, loss of limbs, blind and more write autobiographies entitled Strong At The Broken Places and The Bird With the Broken Wing. They are not handicapped. They are our teachers. Just think of Helen Keller, blind and deaf from age 4, and able to graduate from college with honors. She never saw her problems as punishment by God but more like God disciplining her so her curses could become a blessing.

    Who is retarded? Two boys with Down Syndrome taught me a lot. After operating on a boy I was making rounds, that evening, and when I entered his room he grabbed his blanket, pulled it up to his chin, and said, “If you want to see my operation you have to pay me.” I responded, “I’m your surgeon. I don’t have to pay.”  “Oh, okay” and he lowered the blanket. The next morning, on rounds, I noticed a pile of dollar bills on his bedside stand. The nurses and interns found it easier to pay then fight with him. He is the only patient I ever had who went home with more money than he came with. So who is retarded?

    Another young man with Down Syndrome I knew told me he moved to a new town and people had varying reactions to him. John said, “If you cannot get your love flow going, cannot communicate and you are not aware who you are, I call that retarded. Some people are only a little bit retarded. Then I can help them, because they get curious about me. They get into communication with me and their love flow gets going. Then it works for them if they like. They get more aware.”

    Last but not least in my meditation the other day the message became clear to me. Helen Keller always said, “If you face the sunshine you do not see the shadows.” I was walking towards the sun, in my meditation, and feeling good about not seeing the shadows which exist in my life too. I felt bad for all the people walking towards me, with the sun at their back, seeing only shadows and darkness before them. Then I realized that I could be a mirror for them and reflect the light and love of our Creator and make their path through life a little easier and brighter. So my message to you all is to be a mirror of our Creator’s love for all those who are hurting. And since we are all wounded I am really saying you don’t have to look far to find someone. It is the next person you meet whom you can help by doing what they need, now. So go out and make a difference in someone’s life. And thank you to all who stop me while I am out shopping and say  how much my words have helped them.

    Sermon over and I feel better. Now to test your wisdom:

    #1 Be careful about reading health books…..
    #2 By all means marry if you get a good wife you’ll…..; if you get a bad wife you’ll…..
    #3  I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a……..

    Peace,
    Bernie Siegel, MD

    A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

    Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

    Money can’t solve every problem but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Animals, Heart Mind Matters, Mind / Body Medicine, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

    Q & A with Bernie – November 14, 2016

    Question for Bernie:

    Hi,
    I am the bone marrow transplant survivor you traded letters with back in 1996.

    So my 91- year-old Mom went into acute kidney failure about a month ago; this was not due to diabetes or high blood pressure, but to some traumas.  When she left the Portland Maine hospital to come home to hospice, the doctors told us her numbers were in such decline she might not make it home. My brothers had seen her and said she looked like she was close to being in a coma.  She had said over and over “I just want to see my kids and then I don’t care what happens.” So what are the odds we were all headed to Maine for the wedding of one of Mom’s granddaughters?

    Well, that night at home, looking out on the Kennebec River, she started an incredible rebound. My brother, on watch duty, woke up to see her sitting on the side of the bed waiting to get to the commode. She came WAY back to us, and talked and joked with us – so many funny remarks we started writing them down. This went on for almost a week, which is what the doctors predicted. She showed incredible strength scrambling to the edge of the bed, etc., and then went into her final peaceful decline.

    One doctor said, “Yes, sometimes when terminal patients get surrounded by loved ones, they come back for a while.” You saw this so many times and wrote about it, and it was beyond words to experience it.  I continue to recommend you and your books, and especially guided imagery meditation, quite often.

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Yes, love heals and makes even the end of life a healing event—like a graduation commencement.

    My dad died laughing because of stories my mom told as we gathered around him.  A voice (my angel) spoke to me and asked “How did your parents meet?” I said I didn’t know, and the voice told me, “Ask your mom when you get to the hospital.”  I did, which got her telling stories that had my dad laughing. He died looking so very healthy that I thought he was going to change his mind!

    Bless you, and remember that your mom’s consciousness is still around, so look for signs.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Question for Bernie:

    I’m 35 years old. It’s been almost 2 years since my first symptoms appeared. They were neurological in nature and appeared ALS-like. I have gone to a neurologist and got an all clear with MRI but was told to repeat EMG. It was like let’s wait and see.

    I said no thank you I’m going heal this holistically. I still am doing that today. I appear normal if you saw me walking down the street. I choose not to get a diagnosis because my mind is very impressionable.

    How can I get beyond the belief healing is for other people and not for me? It’s hard for me to expect healing. I just have negative images in my head. And I don’t trust my body. I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thanks.

    Bernie’s Answer:

    One young woman with ALS said she didn’t want to die hating her body, so she sat naked in front of a mirror loving every inch of her body and cured herself of ALS.

    When you love your body and your life, amazing things can happen. It is our potential.

    You have nothing to lose, so believe and your body will get the message.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Question for Bernie:

    I love your ideas, methods, etc. for healthy and happy living, but I’m having trouble when instead of healing, more health problems pop up.

    How is patience involved in all of the work toward moving forward? Cancer patients must get discouraged- how do they do it? Thank you thank you for all that you do!

    Bernie’s Answer:

    The key is that you believe in your potential. You must accept and choose your feelings and emotions.

    Self-induced healing is about finding harmony and order in your life so that your body gets the message. Read my books, and don’t fight a war. Heal your life and body with love, acceptance, and taking responsibility for making choices with your heart.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Question for Bernie:

    How do we get past the fear, sadness, and helplessness this week has left many of us with?

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Do something real for someone else, and live in the moment—not in your imagined and fearful future.

    There are spiritual flat tires which have many meaningful results.  Learn from your experience.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Humor & Healing, Mind / Body Medicine, Q & A with Bernie, Relationships, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

    Q & A with Bernie – November 7, 2016

    Question for Bernie:

    Good afternoon Bernie,

    I am in Barcelona, and I don’t feel good. I feel that I am not a good teacher—that I don’t teach well. I don’t organize my classes very well, and in some classes I don’t control the classroom. Yesterday the pupils threw paper balls at each other and then they threw them at me. I didn’t want to punish them because I feel that their behavior is because I am not a good teacher. I have to educate them. Maybe I should act with more self-esteem, because I didn’t feel insulted; I know they only want to laugh and play, but I know I should set limits.

    Today, in the first hour, one of them asked me for forgiveness and said that he would never do it again.  Then I taught another group and they told me that the other pupils made a video about what happened in class. I felt so bad because, although I didn’t feel insulted, I know I shouldn’t allow this (disrespectful) behavior, and I thought about talking with the director, but didn’t.

    Also, I don’t like my bedroom. It is dark and I like the natural light. I made a mistake choosing this apartment, and I miss Valencia and my family.  People (my friends, my family, and my mates) have said to me that I am lucky to have this job, and I think, why don’t I feel that way? Am I a coward who runs away when I see that things are not easy? I have doubts.

    I don’t know who to say all of this to; my mum says to me that I have to work, and I know that, but maybe this work is not for me.  How do I know if this work is for me?

    Bernie’s Answer:

    The problem is how you were brought up and how you think. Only you can decide what you think and feel, and then you can change things yourself.

    Start becoming the person you want to be by acting as if you already are that person.  Stop whining and follow your heart and feelings. This is your life.

    Love yourself! Put pictures of yourself as a child in your home and classroom—and love that child. Tell your students you love them, too.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Question for Bernie:

    I was recently diagnosed with Adult T Cell Lymphoma/Leukemia. I need help with everything from how to eat, what supplements to take, what holistic options I should consider.

    I just completed by 5th Chemo session, but I know that there is more I can do to supplement my healing. Can you guide me to where I should start looking?

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Read my books. Start with love, medicine & miracles and then the art of healing, as well as any others that you choose. Also, my CD entitled Getting Ready can help you visualize treatments without side effects.

    REMEMBER:  Your mind controls what your body experiences and believes.

    A good resource for supplements is Life Extension at www.lef.org

    I also recommend that you see a naturopathic physician and stay away from sugar.

    Fast for three days before chemo, and then on the day of chemo, and on the next day, cut calories to 1/3 of normal.  This enables cancer cells to take in more chemo. The fasting can help reduce side effects.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Parenting & Family, Q & A with Bernie, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

    Creating Positive Change with Intention, Desire and Determination

    Dear Everybody,

    As usual my first words are the answers to last week’s sentences which you were to finish: I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked God for forgiveness. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

    Last week there was a column by State Senator Gayle Slossberg. My comments are not meant to criticize her but about how she and society view their problems. The title of her column was, Things worth fighting for. She discusses how we survive the challenges life presents us with by remembering what we are fighting for; good paying jobs, an education for our kids in a safe environment, money in the bank and to grow old with dignity in our own home. She says she works hard and makes tough choices to achieve these goals and fighting to limit state spending.

    What am I concerned about? That her focus is on fighting. The fact is that when you fight you empower your enemy and focus your energy on the wrong thing. Why, when Mother Teresa was invited to an anti-war rally did she refuse? When the disappointed people were turning to leave she said, “I will not attend an anti-war rally but if you ever have a peace rally call me.” Those words have helped me a great deal because when we fight wars against disease and society’s problems look where it gets us. We need to resolve our problems and heal our lives and eliminate their difficulties. It is also not just about having material things. I know we all have basic needs but I also know miserable millionaires and their children one of whom said to me, “My father ruined my life. He gave me a million dollars for my birthday. So I have to be a success.”

    We need to care for and about each other so people will always have their dignity and create a society where this is available to everyone. We are a rich country but we do not have the best health record for children or longevity and more. It is time to stop waging wars and start healing our lives and the wounds of our society and country. I find politics very frustrating because of the effort and time involved in accomplishing things which are good for people and I think that is what Senator Slossberg is saying but I don’t think fighting is the solution. Congresswoman Rosa De Lauro, in response to my comment about politics said, “Bernie it’s about the potential. It has taken me five or six years to get some laws passed but they are now doing people some good.”

    She is talking about what is needed to create change. We need desire, intention and determination so good things do eventually get accomplished in all our lives. It is not just about politics and economics it is about our consciousness and life. Quantum physicists understand this better than politicians. To quote one, “Desire and intention alter the physical world causing things to occur which would not normally occur if they were not desired.” I like to add the word determination to the desire and intention and whether it is in politics or your desire to overcome an illness those things are necessary. You don’t give up on the good things and bringing them into your lives.

    I am also not saying that there is not appropriate anger or righteous indignation. When we are not respected we need to speak up and be heard so that we are treated properly, whether as a patient in the hospital, or a U.S. citizen. I love this quote from Winston Churchill, “You have enemies. Good. That means you stood up for something, sometime in your life.” I think Senator Slossberg is planning to do that but I think we all need to focus on standing up for something and not waging a war. Think about what Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. accomplished without finding things to fight over or waging a war. Ahimsa, or non-harm and non-violence, is what the world needs now and they lived it. The tragic ending to their lives shows that Churchill spoke the truth.

    I received bumper stickers from organizations which read, “God Bless America” and “God Bless Our Soldiers” My reaction was to write over them and change them to God Bless Everyone. I think that blessings, love and kindness are what we all need if we are to eliminate the problems of life be they personal or planetary. Kill with kindness, torment with tenderness and you will drive everyone nuts. When we find happiness we will be successful and wars will cease.

    How we see our problems is a part of the issue. Rather than for homework let me ask you now; when facing a difficult time in your life, how would you respond to the question; how are you? Would you say, “I am not happy” or “I am unhappy?”

    If you think about it choosing the latter answer just leaves you in an unpleasant emotional state while the latter gives you an opportunity to find happiness by making changes in your life. That is what we all need to do and I think when families, businesses and politicians seek change for the benefit of their family members, employees and constituents the world will become a better place for us all.

    I may also add that just as physical pain is necessary to protect us from harm so too is emotional pain necessary to direct us to seek nourishment through the compassion and love of and for our fellow man. I don’t want to be distracted or numbed by society and politics so I do not notice their pain and mine. I want it treated and cared for personally and for the family of man. So next time you feel hungry and go get something to eat think about the emotional and physical hunger that is being felt around the world as well as next door and know that you can make a difference because what the world needs now is love sweet love that’s the only thing there’s just too little of. We have enough wars. So stop fighting and start loving today. As St Francis of Assisi’s prayer begins, “Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred let me sow love.”

    Forgive the sermon but I try to live the message. Now to lighten things up. These are parts of quotes from well known persons whose names I will reveal next week. How would you finish them?

    “Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself………..”

    “I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: ……”

    “Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister……….”

    Peace,
    Bernie Siegel, MD

    Reward and punishment are the consequences of our thoughts, speech and actions; they are cause and effect.
    - Kabbalah

    We are all sheep, the same color inside, no matter what color our wool.
    - Dr. Bernie Siegel

    What the world needs is some do-give-a-damn pills.
    - Dr. William Menninger

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Heart Mind Matters, Relationships | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

    Q & A with Bernie – October 24, 2016

    Question for Bernie:

    We asked mom to draw a picture of herself and outdoor scene, but she has had a radical decline in the past couple weeks. She was experiencing extreme pain all over due to tumor growth in all parts of her body.

    She has since been put on hospice and my dad (her HCP) was giving her morphine 0.5 every 2 hours, and wondering why she wasn’t able to walk anymore. My sister and brother since talked him into lowering her meds to Ultram for pain, but she is having anxiety as well and a burning feeling in her esophageal area between her breasts.  Hospice has her on Ativan 0.5mg x 2 tabs, every four hours and she’s snowed!! We tried to gently explain to him that it may be too much for her, but he is insistent that hospice said it would help w the GERD. Me and my brother and sister feel there is something terribly wrong and that we should be doing something more.

    It’s hard to talk to my dad, he’s very stubborn and set in his ways and very “physically & knowledge” oriented. He has a hard time grasping onto any other conventional or holistic treatments, such as meditation, herbal and supplemental meds, as well as drawing interpretation, etc.

    We want to just steal her away and put her in the car and bring her to you or holistic cancer clinic, but know it’s not a possible. We are trying to keep things light and positive and play her guided meditations. The curcumin we’re giving seems to upset her stomach. The Ativan has seemed to help stop her nausea and vomiting, but like I said, it’s kickin’ her ass. :-)

    We feel like we’re at a road block and don’t know what to do next, and you are the only person that comes to mind to reach out to for any kind of help or ideas or positive input. Reaching out w expectancy and with hope…

    Bernie’s Answer:

    There is a time to die, also. Just ask her what she would like to do.

    Share your love, and talk about your lives together.  Tell her that if she needs to go it is okay, and that her love will always be with you.

    Listen to her and keep her comfortable.

    Ask your dad how they met, and to talk about those years in her presence.  It will help her to hear the stories.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Question for Bernie:

    I listened to some of your videos and they spoke to me. I have an aggressive sort of stomach cancer according to laparoscopy; there are already cancer cells in the surrounding area. Three days ago I started chemo, and I feel it is hitting me very hard.

    I have avoided medicaments for the last 20 years (and doctors) and have fared well so far with Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), homeopathy, and patience. Maybe that’s why my body is reacting so strongly. I was strong in the beginning, embracing the tumor, meditating and doing taiji every day.  My wife and I had decided to move away from our current lives, move to some place in nature and try to find a peaceful and more true and meaningful life (we are both artists).

    Then the examinations started with the laparoscopy and now the chemo. As much as I wished I could see it as helpful, I feel that every time I see the doctors, I am much worse off. My mind tries to reason, but my body winces. At the moment I feel incapable of doing anything but barely exist.

    I am 58 years of age, married to a wonderful wife; I have a beautiful daughter and many friends who love me. I am torn between a wish to survive with my inner strength and dignity and the help of friends, and what the doctors and other people—who also love tell me—urge me to do. When I regain a little strength, I can easily see and embrace my future, whatever it is. But when I am low, nauseous and in tears, I see no future.  I am afraid to continue chemo, but I am not alone and would very much appreciate a word with you. Would it be possible to talk to you in person?

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Read my book, The Art of Healing—Uncovering Your Inner Wisdom and Potential for Self-Healing.  You will find sixty drawings and more to guide you. Also on my website,   www.berniesiegelmd.com , read the Immune Competent Personality and change your life as you mentioned.  Love your life and body.  This is really important for unleashing your healing power.

    First, with a box of crayons draw yourself receiving chemo. Scan your drawing and email it to me.  Also, draw an outdoor scene from your imagination, and then we can talk.

    Your intuitive wisdom knows the right thing to do. Your mind may know, but fear can create a problem accessing your intuitive wisdom, so it is important to relax and visualize it as you want it to be. I have CD entitled Getting Ready that can help you.  Some see the devil giving them poison while others visualize chemo as a gift from God. Guess who has side effects. Remember above all that it is your life and your choice.

    Get into supplements which have anticancer effects and cut out all sugar and sweets. Curcumin, aspirin, vitamin D, and the prescription medication Metformin all have anticancer effects.

    Naturopathic physicians can often be more helpful than oncologists.

    A resource for supplements is www.lef.org. They can be called, too, on their toll-free number which is:  1-800-678-8989

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Question for Bernie:

    How do I rid myself of fear? It is paralyzing and keeping me from healing. I feel so hopeless. I love your books, but don’t have the confidence in myself to make my miracle.

    Bernie’s Answer:

    You decide what you see and think—only you.

    Jesus said, “It is done unto you as you believe.”  So, visualize what you desire; your body believes what your mind conceives.

    Laugh several times a day for no reason. Fear and laughter cannot coexist.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Humor & Healing, Mind / Body Medicine, Parenting & Family, Psyche & Soma Revealed by Images, Q & A with Bernie, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

    The Fuel of Life

    Every morning I used to receive an e-mail statement by Eknath Easwaren. He was a wise teacher about life and meditation. I have much caregiving to do which really drains my energy and occupies my time. So when this came the other day it really hit home and I think is something we all can learn from. The following are his words of wisdom.

    “Without a tank full of gas, no car can drive very far. The mind, too, needs a full tank of vitality to draw on for patience, resilience, and creativity. Filling that tank every morning is one of the most practical purposes of meditation. The test of your meditation is: How long can you be patient with those around you? In the beginning, you should aim to make it at least to noon acting like the proverbial angel. Most of us, however, even if we start with a full tank, have little control over the thousand and one little pinpricks that drain vitality as we go along: worry, vacillation, irritation, daydreaming. By lunchtime the indicator may be hovering around empty. Then it is that you have to be acutely vigilant. The tank is nearly empty, but by sheer effort and deft defensive driving, and using the mantram, you manage to coast through to the end of the day without any serious accidents. The more effort you make, the more endurance you gain. The next day you may find the tank itself a little larger; you start the next day with a greater capacity for love and patience than before.”

    Besides recharging your own battery and filling your own tank, survival behavior leads you to ask for help from friends and family, say no to the things you do not want to do, and save your fuel. Many years ago I heard a song which says it all very well. I kept searching until I found the man who wrote it, Tom Hunter, and we connected. It is entitled Rock Me to Sleep. I will place the chorus at the end.

    All I can hear are the crickets
    and the whistle of some lonely freight.
    I’ve been working so hard to make everything right
    but for now it’ll just have to wait.

    I’ve never been too good at asking;
    I’m more apt to do it alone.
    And it’s strange how a lot of us think something’s wrong
    If we can’t do it all on our own.

    It’s funny how times when you’re hurting
    Makes what’s familiar seem strange,
    So when you need help,
    It’s the hardest to ask
    and it always takes so long to change.

    So Tonight, I’d like you to rock me to sleep
    I’d like you to sing me a song.
    I’m tired of doing things all by myself
    and I’m tired of being so strong.

    I mentioned my fatigue due to caregiving, and that I try every day to overcome the problems I create by my behavior and attitude. I know I am the problem and the one who chose to do what I am doing every day and tired of being so strong. The following is an interesting comment, but it is not fun to keep learning from your falls. The harder you fall, the higher you bounce. What makes me happy is a day with no appointments, scheduled events or anything which leads me to stumble and fall. A day where I can just flow with the events, I have found that time ceases to exist when I act out of love.

    I know when I focus on love and faith and let my troubles, feelings, and experiences become my teachers, it helps enormously. When I fill my tank with love, there are no problems to overcome or work to do. There are just opportunities to love the same people who make my life seem stressful due to all the things I have chosen to do for them. Again they are not the problem, I am. When I accept that, I then have the power to resolve the problems. The following quote by Thomas à Kempis explains it very well.

    “Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength. It is therefore able to undertake all things, and it completes many things, and warrants them to take effect, where one who does not love would faint and lie down.”
    ~ Thomas à Kempis

    When you run out of love, you have an empty tank and an empty life.

    Peace, Love & Healing,
    Bernie Siegel, MD

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Creativity, Mind / Body Medicine, Q & A with Bernie, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

    Q & A with Bernie – October 10, 2016

    Question for Bernie:

    Thank you again for your messages.

    I will start my chemotherapy on the 27 September because the infection in my breast is not over.

    I am tired when I see the nurse every morning for the dressing change.

    I would like to know why I had this infection—is it a message from my body?  I have not meditated very often since the beginning of my infection, but I went back to work.

    I started to read your book, The Art of Healing. I am going fast from tomorrow until the day after chemotherapy. As per your advice, I imagine myself with no side effects, but I am still scared of chemotherapy.

    Unfortunately, my friend who helps me with Chinese medicine is very busy.  I can’t meet him for at least a week.  Could you please help me with visualizing what I will experience when I get chemotherapy? Thank you.

    Bernie’s Answer:

    You have to do what is right for you and not think about doing it so you will not die—we all die someday. Loving your life and body can do wonderful things and heal you.

    Seeing surgery as a gift from God can lead you through surgery with no pain or side effects—the choice is yours. See if you can get my book, The Art of Healing, with drawings and more.  It will help you, too.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie:

    Hello Doc! It has been about a year and a half since I contacted you last, and a year and a half since my dad died of cancer. I have been singing your praises to all who will listen!

    I tend to trudge right through stressful times and am “way to busy” with work and kids to properly treat my stress. I am an extremely healthy eater so it was quite shocking when two weeks ago I got the flu. On a Monday night, I decided I had to fire a hygienist who had been with our practice for 18 years and was like family to me and my dad.  I didn’t sleep that night. On Tuesday, I went in to fire her, and Tuesday evening, I got the flu. It was as you call it, a wakeup call.

    I’ve gotten so busy that the things that make me happy (photography and gardening) have become burdens. I run my father’s dental practice now and feel that obligation to him, and the staff who loved him. I only work 3 days a week, but have a photography business on the side and the kids’ school involvement, etc., etc. I just want to know what I can do for myself, because I clearly internalize stress to the point where it suppressed my immune system. I don’t have time for yoga even though I feel great after I do it.

    I talk with a therapist every couple of months, although sometimes having to make that appointment is hard to fit into my schedule. I listen to your meditation CDs before bed, but only when I can’t sleep because my mind is going crazy. Trying not to be stressed is stressing me out! Tips?

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Do I have any tips? Yes I do, and here they are: Stop thinking you are a victim.  Only you decide what you think and feel.

    Ask yourself, “If I had two weeks to live, what would I be thinking and doing?  Would it be what I’m thinking about all the time now?”

    Do what makes you happy and the world happy. Let your heart make up your mind.

    When your mind is quiet you will see the truth.  What you picture you create.  Remember that the still pond reflects the truth.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie:

    I am an Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) student, and just listened to your lectures. Our son gets most of the attention because he drives us crazy. We love him. He won’t listen; he ignores things we tell him.

    I think he is still suffering from his birth – maybe he does not love himself. He seems to be stuck in a sort of trance. How could I help him “out”? Thanks.

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Love your son verbally as well as with contact, and especially by giving him time. Also, have discipline as a part of your relationship.  It is there so he knows it is about keeping him safe.  Make sure to weave humor into your relationship, too.  It heals.

    We have five kids, and one was like your son.  Have faith—our son now thanks us for what we did for him. Don’t reward him for being a problem to get your attention. Do you have other kids who he thinks you love more than him—and what was his birth issue? How old is he?  Get him doing things to let his feelings out—activities like sports, arts, or building things. Ask him to draw his home and family with box of crayons. I can then look at it and give you my thoughts.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Response from Questioner:

    Thank you so much for writing back to me so quickly.  I am attaching the picture my son was drawing of our family. First I asked him to draw a picture of us and our house. That’s the house with us looking out of the windows. Then I asked him if he could also draw us besides the house. From left to right, it’s my son, his sister, me, and in the back is my husband. My son commented: oops, there is no more space for daddy on the side.

    He turned 8 at the beginning of September. When he was born labor had to be induced because the placenta was used up already. That was 2 weeks before his actual due date. I tried to have a natural birth so that I could take care of his sister (17 months older). He was well positioned, we progressed a bit but then the heart rate was falling, so I had to have a C-section. He had the umbilical cord around his shoulder and neck. The doctor had to pull him out quite hard. I lost a lot of blood in that process, and it took the doctors about 1 ½ hours to close me. I don’t know exactly who looked after him during this time—it was not my husband. I think they had to check him and wait because of what was happening with me.

    Since the day he was born he’s been a very bad sleeper. The first year he woke up around 4am and didn’t fall asleep anymore. It got better the last two years. Now his sleep is ok, but sometimes I still have the impression he is scared of missing out on anything, that’s why he wakes up early. Sometimes I think he has low self-esteem, and he gets really frustrated if others don’t connect with him. Maybe that’s why he can’t stop chasing them, touching them, or doesn’t stop if they say so.

    He is doing a lot of activities already. He has a lot of energy, too. If he feels at ease he is very loving and caring. How did you handle your son? What were the boundaries you set? How can I help him to handle his emotions better? Many thanks in advance for answering my email.

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Humor & Healing, Mind / Body Medicine, Parenting & Family, Psyche & Soma Revealed by Images, Q & A with Bernie, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

    Q & A with Bernie – October 3, 2016

    My Story Isn’t Over

    by Camille L.

    I saw a phrase written on a bracelet that really spoke to me. It said, “My Story Isn’t Over.”  I ordered the bracelet immediately, and I am wearing it now as I type.  I feel like this would be a great title to my second book, my first being about how I learned to control my Type 2 Diabetes.  The second one is intended to focus on moving to the country after six decades of being a country girl.  That alone is a grand transition, but the reason for the move is even more significant.

    You see, I learned later in life that both my mother and my mother’s mother both died at the age of 63.  Since finding this out shortly before that time period in my life, I knew I had to fill out and complete my To Do list.  And so I did.  I traveled to Europe and visited Switzerland, the country I had always dreamed about seeing.  When I returned, I still had some time before my 63rd birthday, and I got focused on the thought of moving away from the Bronx and living out my last year in the country.  I always loved communing with nature and had only done so by short trips up and down the East Coast, a brief tour of the West, and Sunday brunches at the NY Botanical Garden.

    When I received a picture of a home in the Finger Lakes with acres of woods, a pond, and a man-made waterfall, I jumped at the chance to buy it.  After all, this was my last year on Earth, so why not let it be a peaceful one.  First, I joined everything around me, volunteered many hours of my days with various groups, and participated in several kinds of workshops in my town and the neighboring towns as well.  I was running on the proverbial treadmill of filling in my last days with social activities and fun.  Remember, this was my last year.  Well nobody was more surprised than I to find that I made it to 64! What? This wasn’t supposed to happen! And so, I celebrated like a fool the entire year.  And once again, I made it to another birthday! 65! Wow! How can this be? Amazing!

    On the one hand, I realized that my fate was not inevitable; on the other hand, I decided to take hold of myself.  Since I thought I was dying, I managed to slip in a lot of carbs and sugars, and this is a huge no-no for a T2 diabetic.  So I dropped most of the organizations I had joined, added more walking through the woods with my dog, and once again started to count my carbs each day.  Now that I know my story isn’t over, I intend to make a difference by passing on the parts of me that I learned: Slow down, breathe, and enjoy the beautiful yet simple pleasures provided to us every day.

    Bernie’s Comment:

    Thank you for sharing your inspirational story with us.  My response is that when you choose life, you postpone death. I know patients who bought a house on the ocean, bought a dog, and put in a backyard wildlife habitat.  Then there were the stories from a landscaper who refused treatment and went home to make the world beautiful, a lawyer who had a 5% chance of living two years and found my book Love, Medicine & Miracles in a used bookstore that transformed his life and his cancer disappeared.  Others have told me that they left their troubles to God, saying that they chose to “Let go and let God.” None of them died in a few months, as predicted. Instead they experienced self-induced healing. When I called Colorado to ask why I wasn’t invited to the funeral of the patient who moved to Colorado to “…die in the mountains,” the person I thought was dead answered the phone and gave me this explanation, “It was so beautiful here I forgot to die.”

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie


    Question for Bernie: (see last week’s Q&A of September 26, 2016 for initial question and Bernie’s answer)

    Hi Bernie! Here is the picture mum drew of herself and the outdoor scene. She said she hopes you don’t mind, but she combined them into one. It’s what was really on her heart, how she saw herself.

    We couldn’t figure out how to scan it to you, so I took a few pictures with my phone in different lighting (so you could see the colors). I told her you said to use crayons, but she also incorporated other mediums. I hope that’s OK!

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Thank you for forwarding the drawings you asked you Mother to do for me. Like many women, she sees herself only in terms of her relationships, and does not value herself in the same way by developing a relationship with herself.

    She is a tree of life and her relationships comprise multiple branches, but her tree does not have an intact trunk with strong roots to sustain everyone AND herself.  The dark bundle at the bottom could be her disease. I cannot tell if it is black or dark blue. Is that a bird at top of tree which could represent her?

    Her tree of life is made up of many individual branches, and it all needs to come together to create a true and healthy tree of her life. Her tree of life should not reflect only living for others, but also living for herself, valuing her life as much as she does that of others.  When I hear women say, “I can’t die until all the kids are out of the house,” it indicates to me that those women don’t value themselves—they are only living the role of being “momma.”

    They need full, well-rounded, authentic lives. Send me any comments.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Mind / Body Medicine, Psyche & Soma Revealed by Images, Q & A with Bernie, Relationships, Stories | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

    Q & A with Bernie – September 26, 20116

    Question for Bernie:

    Dear Bernie,

    I wish to ask about the babies who are just months old yet they get cancer.  How can they have contributed to getting their diseases?  Why do they get cancer?  Thank you.

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Many issues can be responsible for the tragedy of cancer in infants, including physical and genetic problems as well as environmental toxins and poisons that pervade our lives.

    Another issue is that the baby, still in utero, senses a lack of love during pregnancy and after birth, this lack of love is experienced by the baby through a lack of physical contact.

    We all die at some point, but there are things which affect our survival during life that are rooted in love.  I was a pediatric surgeon and always questioned why God was doing this to children.

    But the world is not perfect, so it has meaning when we act out of love.  It can mean how healthy we are, and when faced with illness, whether we can survive and thrive.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Question for Bernie:

    Dear Bernie,

    The doctor told us there’s nothing else they can do!!! My mama has been fighting for her life for over a year. Now, throughout chemotherapy & radiation, nausea & vomiting, unbearable pain, dietary supplements & diet, and alteration in numerous meds, she keeps smiling, laughing, and praising God.

    But now, since the doctor told her there’s no hope for her and put her on hospice, she’s lost hope and become depressed!! She is an animal-lover and artist just like you!! And I’d love to incorporate them in her treatment, but don’t know how!! But you do, it’s what you do!! It’s you’re calling to help others find peace, hope, and life in dark places. And WE NEED YOU!!

    My sister and I would pay anything to get you to help us—our whole life savings if it means getting my mom hopeful again and back on the road to recovery!! Please email or call me ASAP, TIME IS RUNNING OUT, and we need you fast!
    With all our love and respect, thank you.

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Tell her to bet her doctor she won’t die when he predicts, and see if he is willing to bet.

    Tell her to either have faith in God and realize what can happen, or give God hell and tell God what she wants him to do—whichever makes her feel better.

    Ask her what she would love to do with her life now—travel, visit someone, get a pet or whatever she would love to do right now. Keep up her relationships and ask her what, if she dies, are you going to do without her?

    Ask her doctor to put your Mom on Metformin 850 mg daily (need a prescription).  It blocks cancer cells from being nourished by sugar.  Add the herb curcumin to her supplements as well as Vitamin C and 500 units Vitamin D daily. Have her take two baby aspirins a day, too. All of these elements have anti-cancer effects.  Give them to her with hope, and believe miracles do happen.

    And, if she can travel, there are many cancer centers that will treat her.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Those seeking more information on customized cancer care and research programs can go to www.is-canceralliance.com or call the International Strategic Cancer Alliance at 610 628 3419 (email info@is-canceralliance.com).

    Question for Bernie:

    Dear Bernie,

    I have breast cancer with tumors on my spine, and now on the liver! I suffer from severe nausea and now, water in my stomach!

    Two days ago my wonderful companion, Plug, of 4 years, got very sick with bacteria.  He has water in the stomach, severe nausea, and so many similar symptoms! I worry for him. Am I doing something to him? What do you advise?

    Bernie’s Answer:

    Love yourself, your life, and your body—and Plug.  Yes, the animals sense what we are going through and do develop and share diseases with their loving owners. Love him, touch, and massage him often, and visualize you both as healthy, doing what you love to do.  Amazing things are possible.

    Peace, Love, & Healing,
    Bernie

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Animals, Mind / Body Medicine, Parenting & Family, Q & A with Bernie, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

    Healing

    Dear Everyone,

    To start the healing process, here are the answers to my questions.

    1. When you get to Heaven, and are at the head of the admission line, how would you introduce yourself, and the person behind you to God? If you want to avoid being told to come back when you know who you are don’t get into role playing and say your profession or that you are a mother etc. Let them know you are a child of God and don’t need an introduction and let them know that the person behind you is also a child of God.

    It makes me stop and think that when you are out shopping with a friend and you say hello to someone and your friend asks you who they are, you should answer, “A child of God.” When you think that way you will respect others and enjoy their presence in a very meaningful way benefiting you and God’s other children. Hello Donald and Hillary.

    2. What can I pray for, for you? Again transcend your personal needs and think on another level which will reveal your love for all living things and not just self-love and selfishness. You can desire everyone to win the lottery with your prayers but for me the most meaningful answer, which I rarely hear is, “World Peace!”

    3. If you could be God for a day why would you want the opportunity? Again most people tell me about all the things they would fix but maybe God didn’t make a perfect world for a reason. So the answer I truly learned from is that the reason for being God for a day is to understand why. And I have often shared that a perfect world is not creation it is a meaningless, magic trick.

    The other day I read an article by Rabbi Lazer Gurkow on the internet which got me thinking. So here is my next question. If you were told you had just a few months to live, who would you spend your time with and what would you tell them?

    So many of us come up with all the mushy stuff that really is about all their emotions and not the message and meaning of our lives. I am not saying to deny your feelings I am saying to really get in touch with what your heart feels are the most important feelings we are here to live and express and not just a lot of words saying you love your family. I feel we need to live the sermon so they understand what life is all about and what we are here to do. Like being God with skin on.

    The following was in the article by Rabbi Gurkow. This happened many years ago in Russia but is still going on today in many countries.  Rabbi Gurkow, who lived and taught Judaism, was being taken away from his home to be imprisoned by the NKVD Russian Police. God gave the Rabbi the right words to use in talking to his family. Rabbi Gurkow’s message impressed the family deeply and they never forgot the words spoken by him. “Devote your lives to what they are taking me away for.”  Succinct and profound. I can’t help but think of so many spiritual teachers, with this same age-old message, who have been my teachers. My list would fill the page so I will not start typing them in. You and the world know who I am talking about.

    Peace, Love & Healing ,
    Bernie

    Our cancer support group meets the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month. They will be afternoon sessions starting in September at Coachman’s Square, 21 Bradley Road, Woodbridge. If interested contact Lucille Ranciato lranciato2@yahoo.com 203 288 2839; or bugsyssiegel@sbcglobal.net

    I am going to have my weekly column on my web site www.berniesiegelmd.com from now on. You can sign on to our mailing list and have it sent to you or read it on the site. My books and CDs can be ordered through my website or directly via www.wisdomoftheages.biz.   Put code 36 in comment box for discount.

    Uplift for the week:

    Marriage is a wonderful institution…….But who wants to live in an institution?
    ~ Groucho Marx

    Share
    Click the links below to read similar posts
    Posted in Mind / Body Medicine, Spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment