Question or Bernie
I could really use your guidance and input regarding my dearest and closest friend, my wife of 40 years. She’s gravely ill right now. The docs don’t know what’s wrong yet, but I have a good idea. Chronic stress causing long-term toxicities has driven her to unmanageable high BP and possibly cancer. She has always taken care to eat good, organic, whole foods for years.
She’s dealing with high levels of systemic oxidative stress, which is causing multi-organ compromise including the kidneys, heart, liver, and immune systems. She had been seeing a great somatic counselor, but had stopped going after I had a near death experience in October. I’m fine now, but she just can’t let go of past issues, including EVERY decision she’s ever made which she is now questioning. If I can’t figure out a way to help her, I’m afraid I’ll lose her forever. We still have much to accomplish, and five beautiful grandchildren to watch grow up.
Bernie’s Answer
For supportive therapies I highly recommend finding a good naturopath who can be very helpful. “Mainstream doctors” are trained to treat results and not causes, so you need the investigative nature and abilities of a naturopath who will actively look for causes and treat them.
I also want you to try getting her to meditate. A positive mantra is always helpful. Try something like this:
Thank you for everything
I am happy
I am healthy
I love my life
I have no complaint whatsoever
Repeat the above mantra for 15 minutes or more daily.
Please ask her to read some of my books, for example Faith, Hope and Healing; A Book of Miracles; 365 Prescriptions for the Soul; and 101 Exercises for the Soul.
Help her work on creating a life she can love. Think about the metaphor of eating food to meet our body’s needs when it lets us know when we are hungry, and nourishing your mind and spirit when we have hunger and need for nourishment in those areas.
Peace,
Bernie
Question for Bernie
It was a pleasure to meet with you at the dinner in New Jersey a few weeks ago. I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m the one in head to toe black with the history of IBD. When I was diagnosed in 1990, your book, Love, Medicine, and Miracles was always in my hands. It truly was a full circle moment when I was invited to come see you in person.
Here is a bit of my story:
How I came to the cancer center is connected to entering grad school at Rutgers in the fall for my Master’s in Clinical Social Work, and my field internship will be at the center. My goal is to be a psychotherapist specifically for the chronically and terminally ill dabbling in alternative therapies (just got my Reiki II practitioner and Aromatherapy certifications, and plan to learn acupressure and reflexology as well.
It was so so so so so so so so wonderful to meet with you and I am praying your wife is well, or as well as can be. Autoimmune diseases are quite challenging.
PS: come to Jersey soon 🙂
Bernie’s Answer
Yes to everything you sent me. I want you to work on eliminating any stored anger—let it out.
Maybe I can lecture at Rutgers again in the future for you.
I highly recommend the recent book, YOU ARE THE PLACEBO. It is a very good one for therapists.
Peace be with you,
Bernie
Question for Bernie
Ha! Interesting what you said about getting rid of the anger since it is one of the emotions I have had a problem with. I don’t ever yell, and to be frank, anger scares me to no end when people are expressing it. I’m not an easy crier either. I’m known for wearing a perpetual smile and maintaining calm and positivity in any situation.
I will have to think about this more in terms of the damage it may be doing to me to internalize anger.
Enjoy your weekend! I will definitely check out the book YOU ARE THE PLACEBO.
Bernie’s Answer
When you internalize anger you attack yourself. It sets the stage for autoimmune diseases. In our culture often women are simply not allowed to express anger like men do—they are deemed everything from just “hysterical” to mentally ill. So it is about learning how to get your real thoughts out without “over the top” emotion. When you express them when you experience them, you have a far better chance of working through the anger in a calm and successful way. It is when you store them up for years that a day might come when everything just explodes.
There is appropriate anger and then there is righteous indignation. One of the most effective tools to foil people who keep anger at the forefront of their emotional interactions is to become a “Love Warrior.” So, when you feel that you are not respected, become a “love warrior” using love as your most powerful weapon. It is a “weapon” that doesn’t hurt, but instead often succeeds in bringing people around to at least respect each other and each other’s views and beliefs. Many scientists believe that human beings were meant to be cooperative for survival and have those instincts. Our anger, whether hurting us one-on-one, or in the mounting of terrible wars nation against nation is really against all that is in our true human nature.
Peace,
Bernie