This is a guest post by Prudence Sinclair.
Hello, lovely you!
Every January, I feel it. The quiet pressure to do more, be better, and finally become the version of myself I promised I would last year. Suddenly my days fill up with plans, projects, and goals that look impressive on paper. New routines. New habits. New expectations.
At first, it feels exciting. Energizing, even. But a familiar question lingers beneath the surface. Will all this busyness actually lead me toward a healthier, more fulfilling life? Or will I find myself next December feeling burned out, frustrated, and wondering how another year slipped by without real change?
I have learned the hard way that staying busy is not the same as moving forward. And for me, the turning point came when I began asking myself one simple question before committing my time and energy.
The Question That Changed How I Use My Time
For a long time, I said yes to things automatically. Yes to opportunities. Yes to obligations. Yes to things that sounded productive or important. I believed that effort alone would eventually lead to fulfillment.
But somewhere along the way, I realized that I was exhausted, not energized. My calendar was full, but my days felt hollow. I was doing a lot, yet very little of it felt aligned with the life I wanted to live.
That is when I began pausing before decisions and asking myself if what I was about to do truly added value to my life. Not value as defined by achievement or approval, but value that supported my well being, my relationships, and my sense of meaning.
This one question did not magically simplify my life overnight. But it gave me clarity. And clarity changes everything.
Learning What Value Means to Me
At first, I struggled to answer the question honestly. What does value even mean? Productivity? Growth? Joy?
I realized that value looks different for everyone, and even different seasons of life require different definitions. For me, value means feeling grounded instead of rushed. It means having energy left at the end of the day. It means nurturing relationships, creativity, and my health rather than constantly sacrificing them.
One of the most helpful exercises I did was tracking how I felt throughout my days. I noticed which activities left me feeling calm, focused, or fulfilled, and which ones drained me, irritated me, or made me feel scattered.
What surprised me most was how many draining activities I had labeled as necessary or productive without questioning them. Just because something fills time does not mean it deserves space in our lives.
Recognizing the Hidden Energy Drains
Some of the biggest drains on my energy were subtle. They did not look harmful on the surface.
Constant multitasking. Saying yes out of guilt. Filling every quiet moment with noise or scrolling. Trying to keep up with expectations that were never truly mine.
These habits kept me busy but disconnected. Once I started paying attention to how they made me feel, I realized they were costing me far more than they were giving back.
Now, when something repeatedly leaves me feeling depleted, I treat that feeling as information. It is not a failure. It is feedback.
How I Practice This in Everyday Life
I do not live perfectly by this question. I still overcommit sometimes. I still catch myself slipping into busyness for the sake of feeling productive. But I have learned to slow down and course correct.
Here are a few practices that help me stay aligned.
First, I pause before committing. I no longer answer immediately when a request or opportunity comes my way. I give myself space to check in with how it fits into my life right now.
Second, I reflect weekly. At the end of each week, I ask myself what energized me and what drained me. This simple reflection helps me make small adjustments instead of waiting until burnout forces change!
Third, I allow value to include rest. Rest used to feel indulgent or unearned. Now I see it as essential. If something leaves no room for rest, it does not truly support the life I want to live.
Finally, I remind myself that saying no is not a rejection of others. It is a commitment to myself.
What Has Changed Because of This Question
Since I started filtering my choices through the lens of value, my life has become quieter, but fuller. I do fewer things, but I show up more fully to the ones that matter. I have more patience, more presence, and more energy for what I care about most.
The biggest shift has been internal. I trust myself more. I no longer measure my days by how much I accomplished, but by how aligned they felt.
I have learned that a fulfilling life is not built through relentless effort. It is built through intentional choices, repeated gently over time.
A New Kind of Resolution
This year, my resolution is not to do more. It is to choose better.
To ask myself, again and again, whether what I am pouring my time and energy into is actually supporting the life I want to live. To let go of what no longer fits. To honor my limits. To value depth over busyness.
If I reach next December feeling calmer, more connected, and more like myself, that will be success.
And if you find yourself overwhelmed by goals and obligations this year, I invite you to try this with me. Pause. Ask the question. Listen to the answer.
You may find that the life you are chasing does not require more effort, just more intention.
Photo Attribute: Piotr Krzeslak
Prue