Question for Bernie:
20 years ago, I had a mastectomy, followed up by 6 mos. of chemo. I couldn’t believe the strength and positive attitude I had! It was almost a ‘spiritual’ thing because I didn’t know where this strength was coming from except from God! My surgeon even asked me to speak to his new breast cancer patients! I quoted things from Love, Medicine, and Miracles and pep-talked them.
Unfortunately, cancer has returned to my sternum. I just finished 12 weeks of Taxol, suffering side effects that are horrible! In a few weeks, I will be starting ‘intensive’ radiation. The very word ‘intensive’ scares the daylights out of me! I didn’t have radiation before, so I really am scared. My attitude isn’t the same as it was 20 years ago, no matter how hard I pray that I get it back. I have so many people praying for me, also, but for some reason, it doesn’t change my not-so-positive attitude.
I just finished re-reading your book, hoping that would help, but so far it hasn’t. Sorry! So I ordered A Book of Miracles from our library, hoping that will help. (I haven’t gotten it yet). Ideally, I would love to hear you in person so that maybe something you say in your lecture would trigger a more positive attitude in me, as your words have done for so many people. I really could use some advice from you. I don’t want this somewhat negative attitude I have to bring on negative results.
Can you help me find my way to you, either by coming to your speaking engagements or by using this message box or my email? Thanks in advance for any help or advice you can give me.
Bernie’s Answer:
Where do you live? I need to know that so that I can direct you to my talks if it is feasible for you to attend.
There are people I know who receive radiation and have no side effects because they tell me how they say “I get out of the way and let it (the radiation) go to my tumor.” They visualize receiving it and having no side effects several times a day before the therapy and then their body is ready.
You are doing the opposite, creating negative images which your body then expects to experience. The power of the mind is illustrated by a “fluke” malfunction of the radiation machine that wasn’t discovered immediately. Those undergoing radiation with a machine that wasn’t actually even working believed they were receiving radiation and their bodies acted as if they had received treatment by experiencing “side effects” that couldn’t really have happened.
To overcome you negative perception of the radiation therapy, draw pictures of your treatment and correct any negative elements you see in them. Send them to me so I can help you evaluate your impression and adjust them to be positive.
I have CD called Getting Ready that you can use to help you, too.
To strengthen you positive nature, recapturing that strength, think about what you are grateful for every morning. Add new things you are grateful for each day. You will find them. Clearly you have inner strength and you can bring it to the forefront again. Remind yourself again and again that you, and you alone, control your thoughts.
Peace,
Bernie
Question for Bernie:
I am 33 and just had my second onset of Crohns disease that ended in surgery. Both times I can link the onset to a time where I was not living as my authentic self but appeared on the outside to be ‘successful’ The first was at an ivy league university studying a major that was practical, but not what I felt was my purpose. The second was after I received a job promotion at a job I dreaded showing up for on Mondays. I thought the money was a sign that I was living on purpose.
After having my first son I realized I wanted to stay home, but as the main wage earner I had to put him in day care so I could maintain the lifestyle we created. I would start from scratch if I could but I have a partner who is happy the way it is.
Part of me says I need to stop worrying about my parents expectations (they were a big part of encouraging me to be where I am) and be my best self for everyone’s sake. The other part of me says that changing careers or houses is giving up, and I should be able to find peace and happiness under any circumstance.
It’s no wonder my surgeon said when he cut me open that my intestines were all tied up in knots.
How do you suggest resolving this conflict?
Bernie’s Answer:
You are a classic case of trying to fit your authentic self into the expectations of society and close family who do not truly know who you are.
My answer is “Yes, you can change your attitude or change your life. You have to choose
You can be grateful or hateful.
The problem starts in childhood as we store our experiences in our body and then later, the body presents its bill. In your case, that bill manifested by a disease called Crohn’s.
It is time to let your heart make up your mind rather than the accepting the rationale of society and family about what and who you should be; express your feelings so you untie the knots and stop attacking yourself mentally and physically.
You lose your life when you try to please others—one of the hardest lessons to learn in time to turn your life around before too much time passes. Change is not giving up, but doing what makes you happy so Monday morning is not a threat to your health.
Draw pictures of your options and your inner guide will reveal what is the right path for you. Here is an example:
One woman drew “Will the real me please stand up!”
She drew herself as mommy and as a professional—but in her picture, it was clear that she really wanted to be mommy at home with her children.
Also look into various herbal therapies for Crohn’s like boswellia and other herbs. Hopefully as you actively make your choice, the Crohn’s attacks will abate naturally.
Peace,
Bernie
Question for Bernie:
Good evening Sir. I am very grateful to read your encouragement and support to anyone who writes to you with questions.
My ex-partner with whom I have a lovely son is terribly down, depressed, and hates himself due to a terrible past. His mother had made a pact with a married man that she would go ahead and have their child without his father being ever involved. This has left my partner with an indelible pain that unfortunately spills over to his absence in our son’s life.
While this married man was still seeing my partner’s mother, he refused to see his son (my partner). I found this absolutely outrageous.
We still love each other and we love our son deeply and dearly, but I have been so angry with my ex-partner for acting like his father and not being involving in our son’s life like he should be.
Recently I am starting to transforming my view about him because of the pain he must feel by the rejection of his natural father. He believes that he has been just an object to his mother and he deserves no love. He sees life in a complete twisted way and the reality that I still love him and our son loves and needs him.
I would love to know how to encourage him without being his nurse. How can I support him without being invasive? We would love to be together as our son also is very happy when we are altogether…. I thank you for guiding me. Also can we find your book in Paris? I wish you a lovely evening. Best regards.
Bernie’s Answer:
Yes, many of my books are in French.
You can love him even if you don’t like his behavior.
Find pictures of him when he was a child and put them up where he can see them. Tell him to love that child in the pictures (himself as a little boy).
He was hypnotized in a negative way by his parents’ actions so he has no self-love. You have to keep loving him until he realizes he is worth something.
Tell him you can also be his CM = chosen mother.
Peace,
Bernie