Saying Good-bye

The best part of a good man stays forever.
For love is immortal and makes all things immortal.
—William Saroyan

 

Many years ago, a patient of mine went to the Hawaiian island of Kauai to die. Her mother lived there, and my patient wanted to heal her relationship with her mother before she died.

Several years later I was invited to speak and present a workshop on the island. One day my wife and I entered a store and noticed a tiger swallowtail butterfly trapped in a large chandelier. My wife felt the need to rescue it, and so she climbed up on the counter and held out her hand to the butterfly, which flew onto her palm. Then she climbed down. We went outside to release it, but the butterfly wouldn’t leave. My wife tried brushing it off of one shoulder, but it just flew to the other. So we stopped trying to brush it off and let it accompany us.

That night I said, “Bobbie, you need to let the butterfly go. We’ll crush it if we take it to bed with us.” She went out on the porch, returned, and said, “I brushed it off my shoulder.” I said, “Honey, it’s sitting on your other shoulder.” We finally arranged a plate of sweet water on a kitchen counter, and the butterfly settled on its rim for the evening.

The next day, the butterfly hopped on and went to the workshop with us. I put it in a paper bag and planned to use it as part of my talk about life as a series of beginnings, not endings. After discussing the symbolism of the caterpillar and butterfly, I opened the bag and let our butterfly out to demonstrate. The butterfly spent the day overhead, and then left after the workshop.

Why did it spend so much time with us? My answer was that it represented the spirit and consciousness of my patient and was her way of thanking me and saying good-bye.

Have you ever noticed what appeared to be signs or messages from loved ones who passed away?

Peace,
~ Bernie