Looking for a Father

Burgi HutchersonIt was heartwarming to hear you speak tonight to one of your callers. I am the lady from North Carolina who asked you about overcoming feelings of low self-esteem and low self-worth. I would like to thank you for being so willing to become a father figure in my life, and I would like to take this wonderful offer seriously.

I have had father figures in my life but on several occasions the feelings of parent-child went in the wrong direction, and the male figure introduced sexual issues into our relationship. Those experiences have brought a lot of grief into my life, which I believe  have largely been resolved now. But I don’t have a personal relationship with someone I feel close to as my father, although I do have a most amazing husband who treats me very well, and who is a great dad to our eight children.

So if you would still like to be my father—my “Chosen Dad”—I am honored to accept this wonderful offer and look forward to getting to know you better.

Sincerely and prayerfully,


A Note from Bernie:

When one has not had a good father, one must create one.
~Friedrich Nietzsche

Dear Burgi,

You are so brave to share the things you find difficult to cope with in your life—issues of self-esteem and self-worth—which so many people in our culture struggle with daily. What happened to you, though, as you reached out for the comfort you thought came from a man who, to you, represented a father figure, but who instead created a distorted, terrifying, and damaging world for you that most of us cannot even comprehend, calls out for healing.

father and daughter joyOne of the most important parts of my life has been the privilege of helping others in immediate and long-term ways. I love being Dad to my own five children and now a doting grandfather to their children, but it is still a great joy to me to share all that I have learned from being a parent with someone who needed a loving, emotionally supportive dad when they were growing up—and that need doesn’t end just because you are now a parent yourself.

So consider me your “CD”—Chosen Dad, and let me help you feel all the pride a dad can convey to his daughter—and there is so much for you to be proud of already in your life.

Peace and love,


Cropped .JPG (20 KB)

This post was submitted by Burgi Hutcherson.


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  1. Q & A with Bernie – April 23, 2012
  2. Q & A with Bernie – April 2, 2012
  3. Q & A with Bernie – March 12, 2012
  4. Welcome
  5. My Introduction to Bernie
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One Response to Looking for a Father

  1. Kate says:

    Dear Bernie,

    When I was young I dreamed of being a psychiatrist – I have always been fascinated with the mind, with being human. I also considered becoming a psychologist, but I feel that studying medicine, and later becoming a psychiatrist would allow me to learn about the human body which i really want to do, in a way that I would not learn about in psychology.

    I studied law in university as a result of family pressure. I thought somehow I could win over my family’s love if I became the lawyer they always wanted me to be. It was really tough as I had no interest in the topic nor any urge to ever work with it. I tried to convince myself I could be happy with a career in law, but now I see that it was never for me. Moreover, the love I hoped I would win over never manifested. Years later, I’ve finally realised that only I can give myself that love. It’s been a hard accepting it, but I’m getting there.

    To cut a long story short, I now really want to go back to college to study medicine and become the psychiatrist I’ve always dreamed of becoming. But in the past few years, my nerves have gotten the better of me. Last year when I went for blood tests I fainted. This never happened as a child, so I think it is some psychological thing that has happened recently. It’s not a fear of blood or needles, but in my head it’s like someone is trying to suck the life out of me. As a result, all I’ve been hearing from my family is that I could never become a doctor/ that I’d be a terrible doctor/that it’s clearly not for me.

    Having read so many of your books and the many miracles therein, I really believe this is a small psychological setback and that with determination I can stop feeling faint when I think of bloodtests. But I’m finding it really hard to get my head to listen to the voice of my heart after being told so many times by the people I’ve always thought were meant to believe in me that I can’t do the very thing I want to do.

    What should I do?

    Thank you for all the light and hope you’ve brought through your work.


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