Q & A with Bernie – June 30, 2014

Question for Bernie

Good morning,

No real success with my dreams. I’m continuing guided imagery but don’t really recall any dreams that I can write down.

What else would you suggest as I continue on this healing path? I am feeling relatively well going into my fifth chemo round next week.

Lung cancer is a tough one as I continually see statistics that scare me. I’m trying to focus on not being a statistic, but it’s really scary some days.

There are “survivor” websites where people blog about living with lung cancer. I’m not sure they are helpful. What do you think?

Your insight and advice are so very much appreciated.

Bernie’s Answer

I recognize how hard this is to do, especially for someone trained as an attorney, but you must simply stop thinking. If the phrase “stop overthinking everything” works better for you, then use that as your constant mantra to eliminate the thoughts you gather from blogs, for example, from swirling around in your head.  They are crowding out your ability to focus on you OWN thoughts.

You are not a statistic.  Again, resolve to remove thinking in terms of what has become a cultural norm—statistics as truth for everything.  In any given area where statistics are presented as “the absolute truth” there is wide disagreement among the scientists and other professionals who engage in compiling statistics.  The fact that one can find even one person or situation that does not conform to the “statistics” is all we need to know that it is damaging to build our lives around these numbers that seem so solid and irrefutable but are actually built on highly manipulated shaky foundations.

The key is creating a life you love and by doing that, your body gets the message that you love it and intend to LIVE.  Let go of anger and hurt that created past wounds and free yourself to visualize what you want the future to be like.  Crowd out fearful thoughts—leave no room at all for them in what you choose to think about every day.

Say this to yourself many times every day:

Life is about today and not next year!

So enjoy the day as children and animals do—living in the present moment.

I know a lot of people who didn’t die when they thought they were going to because they went home to do what they loved to do with the time they had left.  That is the key to true happiness, whether we have an illness or are perfectly healthy. None of us will be around forever, so I’ll leave you with this beautiful quote from Rabindranath Tagore, the first non-European to win the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1913.  He began writing poetry at the age of eight, and you might find other quotes of his about life and love wonderfully helpful.

“The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.”
~Rabindranath Tagore


Question for Bernie

How to develop my own sense of humor? I mean, how can I be as funny as you?

Which of your books or tapes should I get?

Wishing you the best.

Bernie’s Answer

Get back in touch with the child in you—become a kid again.  Don’t censor yourself so much and as long as your comments are not hurtful or making people uncomfortable, blurt them out like kids do when it is appropriate.

We all have multiple personalities that we use in all the different situations life presents to us.

So, instead of following the crowd and “growing old,” grow young. Read the new Prescription I just posted, Rx #160—it is all about growing down instead of growing up.

Try what I do when someone hands me something and says, “sign here.” I just write the word “here” like a kid would do. It helps to remind people that life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time.