Q & A with Bernie – December 15, 2014

Question for Bernie

I read Al Siebert’s book, The Survivor Personality, after I healed myself from anxiety disorder and maybe also mild depression w/o the help of medication.

It hit me that how I healed myself was also by working on the three selves mentioned in the book, which are self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-concept. I now feel better about myself, my life, and am happier. I’ve also been reading a lot about personal development, and I see that the traits of a happy person and/or a successful person are common with that of a survivor’s!

Therefore, I’ve came to the conclusion that, on any given day, people who are strong in these three selves are happier people and tend to be successful in their endeavors, and when life hits a rough patch, they are also the ones who survive better compared to those whose three selves are weak.

I’d love to hear your views about my deduction.

Thank you so much for your time!

Bernie’s Answer

Absolutely—look on my website at Immune Competent Personality (go directly to that page at https://berniesiegelmd.com/resources/organizations-websites/immune-competent-personality-test/

There are common patterns to survivors as our emotions create our internal chemistry. Growing up feeling loved is a very important element, too.  If that is the case, then you are for and about yourself.

You must always remember that the body believes what the mind imagines and pictures.


Question for Bernie

I love your work and agree wholeheartedly with you. I found I had breast cancer seven years ago.   After the diagnosis, I did a lot of questioning, and I found that my internal talk had never really been supported by personal love. I thought I was a happy lady (and was for the most part) but had a lot of negative energy that I believe lead to my development of breast cancer.

I have this belief that cancer is an epidemic of lost personal love and respect. Take breast cancer for example. Why does it manifest in the breast—the very seat of femininity. I believe it is because we women repress our beauty, our sexual energy; we buy into “original sin” and believe we are not worthy…and cancer grows in the very nurturing, life-giving part of our bodies.

We know that the energy within our bodies is influenced by our mind and emotional state. My personal experience with breast cancer has taken me through a journey that I believe can open another new door.  Thank you for taking the time to read my ideas.

Bernie’s Answer

You are right on, and this is not about blaming one’s self, but about understanding what contributes to illness—and how the body reflects these issues. Poets and others share these things about growth gone wrong, and becoming an outlet for foiled creative fire.

Feeling loved as a child is an very vital part of all this, and not just trying to please everyone and lose your life but instead to find and be your authentic self.  Read on my website What Does Every Woman Want?  Go directly to it at the following link:

https://berniesiegelmd.com/resources/articles/what-does-every-woman-want/ .


Question for Bernie

If you think you could help me interpret a dream, please e-mail me back. I hope I can get some relief from this.

Bernie’s Answer

Describe what is in it and what that means to you and you may understand it.


Continuation of Question above

Sure, since I fainted after recovering from the flu, I started to fear, and dream, I may faint again. What I did was to keep ignoring this thinking it would go away. It turned out to be worse and kept happening until one day I had a horrible dream of me fainting and dying on the floor.

I have had dreams of dying in the past, but this one was very scary. The next one was an event in which I appeared behind a grave and saw a relative bringing out corn, which is a tradition in my country for people to do. Then I heard a voice mentioning a date that I would be visiting this place, as the place she is in was the place my grandparents were from. Then this voice said that I would die on that date.

I am glad that the date has passed, but this was a very disturbing and scary dream for me. I was able to find out some interpretations of what it means to die in a dream, but was too fearful to even browse for more specifics.

I really never want to dream of such similar things again, and I would appreciate if you can give me any advice. After that event, I had become very scared of dying and dreaming of such things, especially of the ones with voices and more exact things.

Even writing about it is scary, but I guess I have to let it out somehow. Thank you so much for taking the time to read it. I really hope you don’t think I have gone out of my mind after you see this message.

Bernie’s Answer

You need to feel that you are in control of your life, and your thoughts are the only thing you control.

Death is a new beginning, too.  In dreams it often doesn’t mean physical death, but the death of something in your life that is unhealthy for you.  Eliminate what is “killing” you along with what you fear, and save your authentic life by starting to live it now.  Here are some other ideas to help you realize that there is, of course, physical death, but most often in dreams, death signifies releasing things in your life that are no longer helping you find your true self and finding where you really belong to do the work of your life.


I die a little each day.
One dies many times in a lifetime
before the liberating death.
The many deaths are the events which plunge us into darkness,
a difficult time and journey, until we enter the rebirth canal
and climb back into the light to be born again.
It gets harder to do, the larger our ego gets,
and the more we accumulate.
But each death brings an opportunity for our rebirth if we have the courage.
Dying is easy.
Living can be difficult and painful.
One day there will be a gift for us all—death.


Death, what a great teacher you are
Yet few of us elect to take your class,
And learn about life.
That is the essence of death’s teaching.
Death is not an elective;
We must all take the class.
The wise students audit the class in their early years
And find enlightenment.
They are prepared when graduation day comes—
It is your commencement.
Until then, I will keep crawling to the light each time I die.

Question for Bernie

I know you may be retired, but have you ever thought about writing a book on self-esteem? A lot of us “older people” would benefit!!  Thank you, sir.

Bernie’s Answer

I will think about your suggestion.  It all comes from feeling loved by parents or not.

All the violence we see happening is about seeking revenge.

Question for Bernie

I read your book 25 years ago and it made a great impact on my life.  Thank you! My question is this:  Do you think you can develop or grow self-esteem?  I’ve been working on mine for years but it still seems fragile. Sending love and light to you and your family.

Bernie’s Answer

Yes, if you reparent yourself and abandon old messages which have hypnotized you, the building of a lasting, authentic self-esteem can happen.

Put up photos of yourself as an infant, toddler, teen, young adult, and as you are now.  Every time you pass one of those pictures in your living space, say “I love you” to that kid.
You are a child of God.